"Shut Up!"

"Shut Up!"

A Poem by LawrenceRaybon
"

A silly poem

"
"I do not think it common,
or altogether apropos,
for a one such as yourself,
that is, one who is in the know,

to lambaste one so roundly,
and the one of course being me,
for simply expounding on
what all those gathered here can see.

The food, is frankly foul, sir,
not even worthy of a rat!
And the drink?  You call this drink?
It's gone unbelievably flat!

The space is cramped, not cozy.
Ha! Claustrophobic would be nice!
And the furniture, I think,
is quite infested with head lice!

The ambiance is musty
due to the airflow being poor.
So please throw wide a window,
or at least open up the door

Come now, can't you see good man
That our time needn't be so hard?"
All this said by the inmate
to his pachydermatous guard.

And once again the guard said,
"Shut up!"   

© 2015 LawrenceRaybon


Author's Note

LawrenceRaybon
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Reviews

You got a real talent to make your readers stand till the end... you are truly good. I really enjoyed it and also read it twice. The words used were amazing.

Posted 8 Years Ago


I love your imagery....I was picturing a really affluent/ sophisticated gentleman critiquing an old house or something and then when he turns out to be an inmate is a clever/funny twist...Plus the title leaves you guessing until the end...I like it.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on June 10, 2015
Last Updated on June 10, 2015

Author

LawrenceRaybon
LawrenceRaybon

Jackson, MS



About
Hi! I'm an avid reader who loves to write. I also love helping others who are serious about improving their writing! My critiques are in-depth and honest, no ego stroking and I expect the same wh.. more..

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