Haiku Warning You #1

First set in a series of haikus that replace typical warning signs/labels with a haiku. Inspired by a friend who wanted a clever bumper sticker to deter tailgaters.

If you can read this
I brake, you buy my next car
Haiku warning you

Note: baby on board
Hurt them and I will kill you
Haiku warning you

Tailgaters beware
I brake hard, then litigate
Haiku warning you

Danger High Voltage
Shockingly results in death
Haiku warning you

Slippery when wet
Please be aware of moistness
Haiku warning you

Attention, Wet Floor
Now, if you slip, we will laugh
Haiku warning you

Hagglers welcome
Prices fixed but you can try
Haiku warning you

No right turn on red
No left turn on red either
Haiku warning you

Slow, road work ahead
Road rage and fines are doubled
Haiku warning you

Buckle your seat belts
Road splats are not fun to clean
Haiku warning you

Don't use your seat belts
Police love writing tickets
Haiku warning you

Warning fragile glass
So, you break it you bought it
Haiku warning you

Caution poisonous
So consume at your own risk
Haiku warning you

Please no trespassers
Last one got eaten by bears
Haiku warning you

Trespassers welcome
And delicious barbecued
Haiku warning you

Beware of the dog
It licks faces with vigor
Haiku warning you

Beware of our cat
It ate the neighborhood dogs
Haiku warning you

No solicitors
We have everything we want
Haiku warning you

We are satanists
Knock, and we will 'convert' you
Haiku warning you

Knock at your own risk
We be crazy up in here
Haiku warning you

Please no chewing gum
Spit or swallow, up to you
Haiku warning you

Do not steal from us
All items cursed till paid for
Haiku warning you

Have sticky fingers?
Here we cut the hands off thieves.
Haiku warning you

No running allowed
If you fall you might be dead
Haiku warning you

No bullies allowed
If someone cries someone dies
Haiku warning you

Zero tolerance
Piss us off and get expelled
Haiku warning you

Don't cheat off your friends
Smart ones don't befriend cheaters
Haiku warning you

Hey, would be cheaters
Hidden cameras are watching
Haiku warning you

Author's Note

Written on my phone, I will look at punctuation and spelling errors soon, but wanted to get these down while I was thinking about it. These are meant to each stand on their own, but I didn't want to spam my feed with haikus, so please forgive the repetition of the final line.

Which is your favorite? Least favorite? Any topics I should hit in the next series? Any feedback is welcome and appreciated.

Reviews

[Ranger Kessel]

No bullies allowed
If someone cries someone dies
Haiku warning you my favorite

This is awesome. I am sorry I have been away for a while I haven't checked things out but I enjoyed this. Thanks for sharing

[Damien Ridge]

I got a good kick out of this. It was quite enjoyable and unique. Thanks for sharing, loved the idea!

[LawrenceRaybon]

Thank you!