The girl

the harsh reality of an abused victim.

She was shy,

barely lifted her eyes up to look,

the teacher complained,

but to no heed.

 

Her notebooks were blank,

she seemed so distant,

as if crying out for help,

in a world so cold and harsh.

 

The scars she bore on her body,

told another story,

one where she was the victim

and he was her bully.

 

She bore marks of shame,

he beat her to a pulp,

as if she were to blame.

 

Now she is a woman,

mature and grown,

yet the wounds she carried deep in her heart,

were hard to heal.

she prayed to God to forgive her demented lover

and most of all give her the courage to pick up the pieces of her life once more.

 

 

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

Wow. This was a great poem.


"The scars she bore on her body,

told another story,

one where she was the victim

and he was her bully.



She bore marks of shame,

he beat her to a pulp,

as if she were to blame.



Now she is a woman,

mature and grown,

yet the wounds she carried deep in her heart,

were hard to heal."

[Leeci]

Thanks I'm still trying but really have a love for writing and reading :)

[Sami Khalil]

You are doing good and on the right path...:)

[Pryde Foltz]

What a great write of strength. Pen on, Leeci.

[Leeci]

thanks for your review :) much appreciated :)

[HavenMarie]

Nice work. I feel the pain pain in your poem. :)

[Leeci]

thank you :)

[Aarea]

This was good. I love poems and think yours had a beautiful feel to it.

[Leeci]

thank you :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

it would be quite difficult to forgive what he did...hopefully she can just so she can have peace.

a very strong write...

i have known abused people..and they do not look us in the eye, too used to being submissive.

nice work.

jacob

ps
my folks lived in Point a Pierre, trinidad for two and half years in the early seventies. beautiful place, both trinidad and tobago.

[Leeci]

thank you for your kind words :)

[aria]

You seem to be revealing something here. Trying to paint us the picture of pain. It is moving on one level because it is so generic that it could be just about anyone who has ever been abused. I think you could make it even more moving if there were some specific details that let us see this not as "every victim" but more as one specific sad soul. Like I said, you are digging at it, uncovering it a bit here and there with the part about avoiding the teacher's eyes and the part about asking God to forgive her abuser--those things begin to set her apart. I think you could do more, but that you are well on your way!

[Leeci]

thanks, I was trying to make it a bit longer and reveal something more about his character but didn't know how to fit in the poem.

[Cassie]

This is a sad experience for someone, a nice read.

[Leeci]

thank you :)

[Beccy]

Such forgiveness comes hard. Time heals, but never, ever fully.

This is a powerful and poignant write.


Beccy.

[Leeci]

Thank you :)

[Just Kim]

Deep, powerful and sad....
Written with a lot of heart and soul.
Nicely expressed : )

[Leeci]

Thank you :D