If I Will Never See You Again..

Uhh... i wrote this in one big huge sweep in an apparent overflow of words.

If I never see you again. That would be alright. That would be fine with me. Because for all the things you’ve done for me, there’s much more that you’ve done TO me. Maybe I should forgive you. but how can I when there’s someone else to forgive. I may dismiss your discretions for the basis that I once loved you. But how can I forgive her?? When she’s the one who ruined me. We had a perfect life?? Didn’t now I find that she has a perfect one with you?? How can she do such a thing?? It was not your fault… I love you too much. I could/can convince my self otherwise, but the fact remains… that I will never have any closure as long as you’re with her. And you will always be with her, I can tell. You hold her. You hug her. And so how can I FORGIVE her??!! When she is with you, I am obsolete. I am forgotten. How can you forget me??? When I’M the one that mad you first remember?!!! I mad e you fall in love, I made you forget about death, and pain, and everything that contradicts the idea…. And I made you remember… what it was. What I felt like. To love.. and BE loved. So how can you forget. To someone who so doesn’t deserve you?? I know she cheats… but I won’t tell you. that. Because I although I love you like nothing else, … you deserve some pain. As well. For all I’ve seen you do since you have been with her is smile… what I used to do. What could do. With you… before, you forgot. About me, about love, about jealousy.  You forgot about me. And all that went with it. Do you regret it?? If you COULD remember… what would you be like? What would IT be like?? Would love be kind to you.. when you treated it so poorly… so unfairly… and what would I do??!!! Would I forgive you.. surly I would.??? But I would not FORGIVE her!!! After all that she has done to me.. never you… but ALWAYS her…. I wouldn’t have forgave her so early unless you would’ve asked me too. Because I forgive You. it wasn’t YOUR fault… it was entirely hers. She led you astray.. and made you forget. What it was like.. what LOVE was like…. What you had, it was not love. It was something else entirely, it was seduction, it was confusion, … it was LUST.  So how could I NOT forgive you for such an offense??!!! Any man would fall to such a plan.. if given the choice.  So I do not blame you, I will always forgive you… but I will always be hurt. For even though I love you without a doubt,… you DID cause me great injury.. and I don’t know what to do with that. But the NEXT time I’m hurt… trust me, I will not forgive you THAT EASILY.  Hopefully… oh please God,… let it be hopefully.  Because of the fact tat I will always love you makes it so hard for me to blame you for ANY offense.. even the smallest hint of regret from you will make me stagger back for more. And love. Without any contemplation, as to what pain you have caused me. I love you. and I will always forgive you.  But please don’t ask me to FORGIVE HER!!!  Because I never shall… SHE MADE you go away from me.. what shall I do the next time you are led astray??? I’ll tell you what I will do.. I will find her. And this time, forgiveness will not be so kind. I don’t even care if she’s the one who did the offense this time. It is STILL HER FAULT!!  AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE HER!! So how can you expect me to act any different?? Than to hate her, than to despise her… than to regret her… not being, me…

Author's Note

wow... i'm sorry for thinking that this poem is so bad.. it's just.. not in my usual style, that's all.