Clouding Chat rooms

Clouding Chat rooms

A Poem by Lei

Enter my chat room, I dare ya! In love with the mind, a dreamer!

Foster my intellect, preside over my random thoughts, and amorphous my feelings.
 I like to dream. 
 It is impossible to fathom as the breath of the universe.
 What do I speak of with love?
The brain. 
 Even when you don't let me sleep.

© 2017 Lei

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S few points:

Don't talk to your reader, involve them, emotionally.

And aside from not knowing who might want shapeless feelings, "amorphous" is not a verb.

And finally, though you might have intent for the disconnected thoughts that intent doesn't make it to the text, so it's lost.

Sorry my news isn't better.

Posted 11 Months Ago

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1 Review
Added on November 10, 2017
Last Updated on November 10, 2017
Tags: Dreamer, dreams, adventure, universe, science, love, brain



Los Angeles , CA

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