I Am You

This is inspired by a journal entry I wrote back in August, referring to my bipolar and social anxiety disorders as an ocean I have to swim through to reach my true self.

I lie at the bottom of your ocean,

Thousands of miles below

And I am the only one,

I've been here for twenty years.

I try to swim, I try to reach you,

I know you need me,

But the weight of your ocean

Pushes me down.

I lie with my back against the earth,

Staring into the endless blue,

Trying to find you in its depths,

But you're never there.

Sometimes you emerge into view

But quickly disappear again,

I scream for you but

Water fills my lungs and silences me,

Hallucinating has become a habit.

I exude self-confidence,

I can carry on conversation effortlessly,

I am talented and self-sufficient,

I don't need you,

But you need me.

Between us lies

Anxiety and hopelessness,

Trauma and self-hatred,

Your own water is out to get you,

But I'm worth it, please

Believe that I'm worth it.

You're still floating on the surface,

You're not trying hard enough!

You're lazy and unreliable,

Insecure and stupid,

I'm losing faith.

Don't you know what you're missing?

I defy your chemical imbalance,

I defy your thoughts of suicide,

I defy your irrational fears,

I am what you could be,

I am you.

Reviews

[Lewelyn Seabring]

I love it. Approachable by the masses due to the excellent technique used, yet it means so much to those certain few.

[Pete]

This is awesome. Simply awesome. This is probably the best poem I've read here. I can't get over it. Such deep powerful feeling and vivid imagery. You just took me into that ocean. I can feel your struggle in every line. I am bipolar too. You have a beautiful ability. Welcome & keep writing!

[J3ssInJupit3r]

Holy S**t. Please excuse my language but wow. This poem was incredible. It is like your conscience speaking instead of you. Believe that you are worthy. Believe that you are good and worth a damn. We all have insecurities and a good majority of the world secretly thinks ill of themselves, and this poem showed that. This is a wonderful amazing poem and I want to read more from you. I am now subscribing to you because you have blown me away. Beautiful.