Sarah's Seraphic Smile

 

 

On Saturday Angie's agenda was full of flaws 

But she kept the plan well hidden

With an angelic look and smokescreen

She held me commandingly at bay

Our love was exciting and erotic

Short intense and forbidden

She was out sized in my large shirt

I will forever marvel her on that day

 

On Sunday Sarah’s seraphic smile

Had the thinnest of sugar coatings

The flower of its beauty was persuasive

And pleasing to the eye

But behind it lay a world of acidic lies

Cheating schemes & pretence

And at its root it was empty and hollow

As black as a pool of writing ink.

 

On Tuesday Trudy’s touch

Trembled like a woman with

Broken and jagged nerves

Being a capricious Capricorn

She was liable to change her mind

She spoke in a veil of closures

Never revealing her inner-self

Making me forever follow in

 

Reviews

[Shelley Holt-Lowrey]

Interesting. And you wrote in red / pink which is its own statement. As much as I would like to deny it, I have been all of these women at one time or seven. Wonder what they so the rest of the days of the week. So as an observer to this deception, I wonder who else is party to it. Ouch! Poetry that makes me think!

[leighgreen]

Thanks for your review and honesty, it has taken me until now to realise what was going on!

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice use of names and thoughts in this poem. I had to read again for the pleasure of the tale. i like the flow of thoughts and the complete poem. Thank you for sharing the entertaining poetry. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[The Siren]

I love this! Love the way you wrote the deception into the poem. This is a job well done :D Going to my faves.

[leighgreen]

Glad you like it and thanks for your comments

[Heromen Selena]

I liked it. Lots of deception I noticed. Good job :)

[leighgreen]

Thanks Heromen

[Nautili]

Since you have alliteration "Angie's agenda" you could move that stanza in the middle and put "On Sunday, Angie's agenda was full of flaws." Just a suggestion, it is completely up to you. : )

[leighgreen]

Thanks yes I have given Angie Saturday ans Sarah Sunday to give continuity of time moving forward.

[Nautili]

I like it!

[PoppySilver]

I like the fragmented elements here blending into one, very well thought out, inspiring too :)
You took me through several aspects here, loved it ♥

[leighgreen]

Thanks - glad you liked it -

[PoppySilver]

Most welcome :)

[Mockingbird]

sounds like a man with too many mistresses who are aren't as true as he is. great depiction of the common woman.

[leighgreen]

Its some fantasy and some fiction all blended together

[Nautili]

This is an interesting write, for we all know women like these 3. One suggestion, would it not be more in tune with the poem to start with a day of the week , the day she wore your oversized shirt?

[leighgreen]

Yes you are right, but how do I fit it in? there are no days beginning with 'A' and I kind of need it to be an alliteration, but how about 'That afternoon Angie's agenda was full of flaws & holes'

[Marie]

All women contain some Angie, some Sarah and some Trudy...although I'd like to think we contain very little Sarah...

[leighgreen]

Fair comment, different relationships bring out different aspects of a person I suppose - thanks for your feedback :-)