Desolate Love

Love - Inspired from the line ' We found love in a desolate place'

Through overgrown thicket

And glades of singing cricket

We found a place they don’t go to anymore

 

Under the lowly steeple

In a place once full of people

I made a fire of wood and twigs upon the floor

 

I’d taken you to the old chapel

On a horse of grey and dapple

And made you make a vow to me that night

 

Your body was all of a shiver

As the lines you did deliver

As you knelt at the alter of marble white

 

And in that broken church

You wore a crown of Silver Birch

And gave your love so sweetly unto me

 

In that desolate chamber

I always will remember

How our bodies writhed so alone and free

 

 

 

Reviews

[Little Whisper]

Very lovely!!

[T. Logan]

I love the rhyme scheme of this, so much. It tells a very good story, but also strikes me kind of sad, with the use of certain words like writhed, and the part 'made you make a vow' like he/she is being forced to do this. But overall, this was very good, and i do like it.

[haparanda66]

I enjoyed this poem - both the imagery of vows being made and the desolate atmosphere of the place people have forgotton. Don't so many of our sacred places suffer such neglect these days.

[Marie]

I like the poem for its classic poetic sound and rhu=yming structure But the last line doesn't seem to finish it somehow. It needs more closure.

[Eagle Cruagh]

The construction is remarkable, individualistic
and interesting.
The imagry is incredible, one of a kind.
The story is attractive to the reader from the start.
Sensual in essence.
This is a lovable poem of adventure and loving.
Beautiful .
----- John

[J. J. Nightingale]

Hot and telling ... with a touch of romance ..

I like .. J.

[JustLorry]

Beautifully done. flows perfectly

[Steel]

Charming...truly unique and smile-enducing..:)