Hell Hole

These thoughts in my head,

Make me wish I was dead.

The truth will never be found.

Especially when I'm six feet in the ground.

I'm too weak to even cry.

Damn I'm sick of this lie.

I'm just waiting on my turn,

For me to go to Hell and burn.

The demons in my mind,

Want me to do things that are not kind.

When I close my eyes I see,

These demons becoming free.

Soon they will have complet control.

And my soul will forever burn in the Hell Hole

Reviews

[Chesney W.]

amazing.. wonderful.....I like this poem alot.. such emotion!! love it!
-Chesney Chey(:

[eatmills]

Effing outstanding!!! Personal Hell and Demons in a very personal piece. I know all about the demons that control. I see them in the mirror.

[Baby Ricochet]

Cool rhyme. Reads like a death metal song. Great job!

[Westminster Abbey]

We all have those demons inside us clawing to get out

[Eleanor]

Wow I loved it! Great job

[s.r.knight]

I love macabre language and little dark twists in poetry. How wonderful!

[A. V. Madison]

So incredible. And like Ms. Rivers, the second to last line should be complete, not complet. But other than that, simply amazing. 100/100

[Secret Lullaby]

Thanks(:

[B-poet]

Wow, raw emotions with a poignant and emphatic twist. Quite an eye opener. But I love the message your conveying. It's a reflection of what our souls go through in life from time to time. Great write. :)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Oh, well this is very deep and scary! I love reading poetry that has a dark and deep meaning to it! But if your poem is true, then the best solution is to keep God's faith close to your heart and the demons will run away. Because God's power is the strongest in the whole entire universe. No demon can ever possibly compare to God. Trust me! I know how it feels to have bad thoughts stuck in your head. I've been there and done that. What I do is, release those thoughts with positive thoughst about my best friends or God. That usually works! You done a great job conveying your feelings of those demons stuck inside of your bad thoughts!

*The only mistake I noticed was "complet" should be*complete*.

Ashley Rivers--Dream BIG and you'll win BIG:)

[Secret Lullaby]

Thanks for the kind review but and you PLZ stop puting "God" as your answer for EVER one of my poems? I mean I have known you sice the 6th grade Ashley but every since last year you have been trying to throw God in my face? You never did that befor so why are you doing it now?

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

You're welcome first off! And what the hell? Okay, so you know what I won't review your crap anymore. I can say what I want to, and God is a big inspiration for me. That's exactly why, Leslie! I wasn't living right and I have been trying to lately. Got a problem with that?

[Secret Lullaby]

hey chill the PMS...nothing I said was rude, it was honest, so umm chill? I have never been mean to you or even rude so calm down.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

PMS? Uh no sweetheart, and yeah it was being rude. I never throw God in your face. You're the one that always brings stuff up. If you didn't want me to review it, then you should've never sent the read request to me. You're just one more strike from pissing the hell out of me, Leslie.

[Westminster Abbey]

Can you guys please stop? I hate to see people fight. First off, Leslie, Ashley can worship as much as she wants. Don't tell her how to handle her religion. Also, Ashley was right, you were a little rude, she was just trying to help. Ashley, Leslie has a point, you were rude too. If she wants you to back off, just back off, okay?

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Thanks for the advice, but I wasn't being rude. You have no honest clue what me and this girl has been through. I was just stating true facts. Thanks again :)

[Secret Lullaby]

umm Ashley I called you asking for help! I need help! and all you did was blow me off all week! I tried so hard to talk to you friday but you were being sooooo rude!! And yes yo do throw it in my face and I never said I didnt want yo to review my stuff? I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS!! they mean more to me then any other review because incase you haven't noticed, IM TRYING TO GET YOUR APRROVAL!!!! EVERYTHING I HAVE TRIED BEING NICE, TALKING TO YOU AT BREAK, I EVEN STATED CALLING YOU AGAIN!!! But oooh nooo im the evil b***h, you do no wrong -_-

[Secret Lullaby]

and what do you mean you were living life wrong? You have never done a bad thing in your life! WOW you snuck out of the house 1 time! you didnt even do anything! I am the one who messed up, NOT YOU! I AM THE ONE WHO WENT THROUGH HELL AND IS LIVING IN HELL! NOT YOU!! AND NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I TRY TO TELL YOU WHAT IM GOING THROUGH! YOU WILL NEVER GET IT! BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU! AWWW WE SNUCK OUT, IM GOING TO HELL BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! I AM THE ONE WHO DID SOMETHING THAT NIGHT! I NEEDED YOU ASHLEY AND YOU WEREN'T THERE FOR ME!!!! YOU LEFT ME): YOU LEFT ME BECAUSE YOU IF STARTED HANGING OUT WITH PEOPLE THAT WERE BIG CHURCH GOERS THEN YOU WOULD BE A BETTER PERSON I GUESS): THATS NOT TRUE!!! HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME!!! HOW COULD YOU LET ME GO THROUGH THAT ALONE!!! I NEEDED YOU!!!! YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW MANY NIGHTS I CRIED BECAUSE I FELT SO ALOME AND THE WORST PART IS, YOU DONT EVEN CARE!!! I DONT EVEN WEAR SHORTS TO SCHOOL ANYMORE
ASHLEY!! BECAUSE I HAVE SCARS ALLLL OVER MY LEGS!!!! BECAUSE IF I PUT THEM ON MY ARM TOO MANY PEOPLE WOULD SEE THEM!! AND YOU DONT CARE!!! YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND AND YOU LEFT ME ALONE TP DEAL WITH WHAT HAPPEND!!! BUT NO, ITS ME WHO IS THE PROBLEM SO YOU SAY. WE ARE NOT FRIENDS BECAUSE OF ME SO YOU SAY! YOU SAY IT WAS BECAUSE I GOT CLOSE TO DESTINY!! I GOT CLOSE TO HER BECAUSE SHE BECAME THE FRIEND YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN!!!

[Secret Lullaby]

i bet you wont even read all that...if you skip it you better gp back and read it!!! its important and you need to read it!!

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Leslie, I did actually read every single word. No, what might be bad to you is more extremely bad to me. We now live on different personality frames. We have different points and aspects of life now. Yeah, we USED to be best friends. Key word "used". With time, people change obviously. Leslie, the reason we were good friends for awhile was because that was BEFORE you became too boy crazy to even hang around me. Don't you get it? The sneaking out, was your freaking plan. I went along with it, to make you happy. I did what you wanted me to do, and guess what?! I even risked being killed or injured to stay best friends. I hate how you keep bringing up
"church goers" and me thinking I'll be a better person. Actually, you don't know who I am anymore. Because you're too stuck up Destiny's and Tristan's butt to even know what kind of life I'm living now. I'm a good person usually, and one mistake (such as sneaking out) is major for me. It might not be for you, but oh freaking well! We're too different anyways. You know the definition of peer pressure? Well, I don't follow my peer pressure around here. ( as in having sex, smoking, and etc) And for your 4-1-1 I hang around BriAnna, Morgan, Kaleigh, and Savanah because they're the true meaning of best and true friends. They're the four friends I'm not ashamed to laugh with or spend the weekend with. My parents are close with their parents. And last, I'm a caring person. So don't make me pity you, that's why I don't care. I don't pity people for stupid things or mistakes that they make. What you did, Leslie with "him" is your fault no one else's. You snuck out, (your choice), you told him it was okay to go that far( your choice), why should I pity you? But the true reason that we departed and stopped being friends isn't because of you, and not because of me. It's because we're too different now to even start new. Sorry, for anything I said or done. I hope you have a long and successful life! I don't try to mean any harm.

[Secret Lullaby]

I was trying to get us to be friends again, i was trying to get us to understand eachother. I dont need your pitty, I dont need anybody to have pitty on me. I am just find. I will be just find. I dont need anybody. Oh stuck up Destiny's butt??? How can I when she is wayyyyy to far up Cole's. My life is falling apart, all I wanted was someone to talk to and even after everything, I went to you. And yes I know I'm a w***e, I know you think that and dont tell me you dont because you and your "friends" say it to me face at lunch "hey hoe" you think thats funny? Its not

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Well, Leslie do you honestly think we will after all of this? The chances are slim now from everything. "Find"? Are you trying to say "fine"? I'm trying to make sure I read that right xD But you find a way to follow Destiny around like a puppy dog along Cole. But since your life is falling apart, there's many solutions to that. I'm not going to say anything, since "I throw God in your face". And wow, are you proud or someone to come out and call yourself one? Yeah, the whole student body thinks that actually. So I'm not in the wrong for thinking that you are! And I don't know what you may say behind my back, but atleast we say it to your face. Look, I'm done arguing. Let's handle this maturely and quit writing back and forth online. Drop it and get past it! We have our differences, and different choices and crowd of friends. That's how life rolls sometimes, whether we agree or not.

[Blue Ivory]

I've been there. I really like this poem! This is very mature. Good job! ^_^