His problem

His heart is now cold.

And has becume hard to hold.

He doesn't mean to push you away.

Infact he really wants you to stay.

But he is having some problems at home,

That cause him to want to be alone.

He knows that he is breaking your heart.

But his soul is slowly falling apart.

He wishes that he could make you understand.

But nothing is working like he planned.

But blaming yourslef only makes it worse!!

He doesn't want to be your curse!

He just wants to make you see.

That he can be the man you need him to be.

He just needs you to stay by his side.

And to please be his guid,

To find happiness again.

So that yall's future together can begin

 

 

Reviews

[Zoey Dead Girl]

Amazingly amazing is what this poem is. Great work i loved this

[Le parisien]

just amazing, simple and to the point like i suppose you wanted to be :)
hope your friend will get over his problems :)
just one thing: you misspelled "yourself" :)
Great job with this writing =D

[Her Guardian Angel]

This is great Leslie. I'm sure your friend appreciated this :)

[Daniel]

Hmmmmm...

[barakanaga16]

I bet this helped your friend. Wonderful

[jainendra nagar]

gud work...
when u write someone else feelings its hard to pen it down

[Davi Rodrigues]

Good, good. Only one comment, though:
You seem to stick too much to an AABB rhyme pattern. Try to innovate a little more. The subject of your poems is already interesting, so give a little bit more attention to the form.

Keep up the good work ;)

[Myself]

great write

[Ramya]

This is a lovely piece. There is this seamless flow in your poem that I am in love with. And good rhyming too...love it!

[Mike]

I think this was a very good piece of writing of personal emotion