On Hardship

I remember when it all began

            I ran, almost flew, headlong

                        Into the future of destiny.

                                    Its light shines from the mountain-peak.

 

When I looked from far away

            The light reached for every path

                        And my feet flew across the plain.

                                    The trees are a blur of green.

 

But the closer I fly to the mountain beyond

            The steeper the pathway becomes

                        Rocky pathways offend my sight.

                                    My oak-staff cuts through the leaves.

 

It was so simple and easy before!

            On the plains before the cliffs

                        With eyes focused on the prize.

                                    Where does my foot go next?

 

And I know where the core-truth lies

            Though my soul might despair

                        It lies in waiting beyond the trees.

                                    My staff sheds splinters like leaves.

 

But the light has never felt farther away…

            Fighting ever uphill toward the goal

                        Dangers lurk around every bend.

                                    I put one foot in front of the other.

 

Occasionally I glimpse through the trees

            A blinding flash of the Light

                        I pause to bask in the sight.

                                    A fallen tree makes a wonderful bench.

 

As the night falls, the light is in sight

            And my striving regains its purpose

                        Even though hardship increases.

                                    And the endless toil of my body

                                    Becomes the ultimate joy of my soul.

Author's Note

The rhyme scheme isn't quite working for me... any suggestions?

Reviews

[Con O'Clast]

Cool, it has almost a high fantasy aesthetic. With regards to rhyming, I wouldn't get too hung up about it, freeverse works quite well with it I think. I'd put more of an emphasis on assonance. Actually 'a blinding flash of the Light/ I pause to bask in the sight' sort of broke the flow because it rhymed! And then it's immediately repeated: 'As the night falls, the light is in sight'. I did really like the italicized parts, they gave it a transient feel, it was a clever way to bring it into the present tense seamlessly as well.