Mechanical

Song I wrote... only the second one, ever.

Mechanical

His eyes are cameras

Snapping photos you don't want

Them to take

One loose bolt

He's on the edge

And he's going to break

 

He's the

Coldest and Calculating

Critically evaluating

Robotically cruel

Excuse for a man

I've ever seen

 

He's mechanical

A mechanical heart

And absence of soul

No real mind of his own

Run by a machine for a brain

While slowly going insane

How did I mistake

Pure intentions and strength

For mechanical

 

Well you know you've got

Broken wings and a half-hearted smile

But I've known this for a while

Oh God how did I not believe

What was staring down at me

So obviously

Am I so blind not to see

 

He's mechanical

A mechanical heart

And absence of soul

No real mind of his own

Run by a machine for a brain

While slowly going insane

How did I mistake

Pure intentions and strength

For mechanical

 

Because

He's the

Coldest and Calculating

Critically evaluating

Robotically cruel

Excuse for a man

I've ever seen

 

He's mechanical

A mechanical heart

And absence of soul

No real mind of his own

Run by a machine for a brain

While slowly going insane

How did I mistake

Pure intentions and strength

For mechanical

 

Author's Note

hey, so I wrote a song, this was just something I wrote kind of quick, but please review because I still want your honest opinion on what you think of it. :) Also, the beat of this song is what keeps it together, the rhythm is kind of jumpy, you know what kind of thing I'm talking about?

Reviews

[Cameron]

I love it...I can kinda see several ways you could illustrate this none are short of awesome. You are really on to something here.

[Castonovia]

Amazing... kinda hummed Evanescence while I sung this song, love the implications; a robot/ *one loose bolt ready to break*, metal heart and all... well penned indeed :)

[RachelReaper]

I looooooooooove Evenescence!!! Thank you for comparing this to them

[Castonovia]

No problem :p

[Pax]

lyrical indeed...an up beat tempo is great...everything you said rings a truth....a robot does not have a soul....
Brilliant write...

[RachelReaper]

:D

[Pax]

i wish...i could write songs also...how are u my friend..

[RachelReaper]

I'm good, you know, high school and all. What about you?

[Pax]

just tired...i guess...high-school is great...enjoyed every moments of it...

[RachelReaper]

you know, they say high school is the best 4 years of your life... if this is the best 4 years of my life, my life is gonna kinda suck.

[Pax]

yeah, i know...there are times but not all the time right?

[RachelReaper]

exactly. so have you gotten any good inspiration for writing lately?

[Pax]

just little...I just don't send RR for now..for i fear being insulted again..

[RachelReaper]

screw that guy, and if you want to, just an RR to me. I still want to verbally pummel that guy in the ground, but I won't... because you asked me not to...

[Pax]

its ok....its fine as it is...now change topic this song makes me remember the robots in the movies the one that learns to feel...just the opposite in your song...

[RachelReaper]

oh, yeah, in I-Robot

[MOON]

Ha , this is good simply lyrical put down I have ever seen. Lovely Well you know you've got
Broken wings and a half-hearted smile
But I've known this for a while
Oh God how did I not believe
What was staring down at me

So obviously

Am I so blind not to see

[RachelReaper]

thank you so much for the review, MOON! :)

[Moon]

Nicely written ! I liked it . Thank you for sharing