Everything I Saw

Everything I Saw

A Story by RachelReaper
"

A dream I had

"

Everything I saw

   Long, white sleeves brush the ground caked with ash. A dull, orange tinted glow from a sun too far away reflects on broken bits of glass lying on the five lane street. Breathing in burns like fire, and the scent of decay rots in the air. I try to swallow the unsettling, hair raising feeling that swells inside of me, the feeling I get knowing everyone around me is dead.  

   They cover the ground like soldiers after a brutal war. Everywhere I look they stare at the gray skies, faced down, or directly at me, but I can't stop. I have to keep moving forward.

   Buildings crumpled to rubble, I can't tell broken bits of furniture from limbs the way everything is covered in black and white flakes. I pick my way through cautiously and try not to look into their lifeless eyes that seem glossed over with panic, frozen in death.

   I'm not led by knowledge of where I'm going, but by instinct of where I need to be.

   The moment I see it I immediately know where I am. Fear and recognition stab me to my core, making me physically double over and fall to my knees. The enormous, shattered city I loved so dearly... I had only been gone a few years...

   The Empire State seemed to sneer defiantly in the low light, the last to stand.

   "They're coming," Someone whispered to me. Someone I couldn't see. They're warning cascaded through the raining bits of debris, though there was no wind at all to carry it coming from any direction. Everything else was deathly still.

   "They're coming, they're coming, they're coming," Came more urgently now.

   From a distance I could see and I cried out in pain as if I was the one crumbling apart.

   The Empire State bowed its head for the last time and began its descent back down to Earth, grandly rumbling as it fell. One window shattering after another as it caved in on itself. With a final battle cry, it crashed to millions of shards and splinters of the past.

   "They're here."  


© 2013 RachelReaper



Author's Note

RachelReaper
a dream I had about the future gone wrong, tell me what you think

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Reviews

I love how great you are at being able to paint a scene. A lot of people spend pages and pages trying to do what you have done in less than 500 words. Kudos

Posted 3 Years Ago


I love how well you describe it, dreams can be pretty tricky to describe sometimes! You really do a great job with it. :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

thank you Lunar.
LunarSong

4 Years Ago

You're welcome :)
Wow...the descriptions are so vivid and penned so nicely that I could picture everything you’ve written just before my eyes. I like how you have used a perfect word to describe things and an environment of deathly stillness san any life around. ...it all sounds so dark, chaotic and breath taking! Amazing work Rachel!

Posted 4 Years Ago


I have dreams or more like nightmares like this all the time. But i forget them immediately when i wake up. But this was so vivid and so wonderfully described that it seemed as if i was living that nightmare. Hats off Reaper:-):-):-D.

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

Hats off to you for taking the time to read this. Thanks Islander :)
Very ominous feel. It's good to get this stuff out in written form after a vivid dream. I especially liked the personification of the Empire State Building. Interestingly enough, they just had that meteor in Russia and that asteroid just near-missed us:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

weird, huh? thanks for the review.
The Analog Kid

4 Years Ago

Sure...Yeah kind of eerie. I often feel like I have intuitive abilities myself..but don't realize u.. read more
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Pax
wow, a stunning piece... for the imagery is well placed and the intense happenings is well evident... it show's how you really improve your craft in creating a beautiful description in a apocalyptic scenery. Awesome!

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

thank you :)
what a dream-scape you have painted! truly nightmarish in quality, yet so human in your observations. You let the reader see through the lone survivor's eyes. And I want to read more... WHAT HAPPENED???? Dreams can mean so many things, but they can also birth fantabulous short stories, and I think you have one here!

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

thank you for reading :)
Wow I really liked this! It shows not only the confusion of life but the pain that we can feel. Sometimes, even if its not physical, the world feels like it is falling apart like this. A great metaphor (whether it be intentional of not)

Also, I think it is awesome that you can remember your dreams this well and that they actually make some sense! I would love to write about my dreams but I always forget them 2 hours later!

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

thank you for the review :)
Very nice job on description. Dreams can be very very strange, and sometimes turn into writing. Wonderful job, but lets hope this inst a premonition :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

Its not. Just a dream.
fine

Posted 4 Years Ago



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Added on January 19, 2013
Last Updated on January 23, 2013

Author

RachelReaper
RachelReaper

About
Hey!!!!! My name is Rachel, and my unofficial last name is Reaper. I am 14 years old. Blood and kisses to all who review my work, I appreciate it so much and couldn't express to you how much it means .. more..

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