Why I Was Kicked out of Twilight

Why I Was Kicked out of Twilight

A Poem by RachelReaper
"

another parody-like thingy

"

Why I Was Kicked Out of Twilight

1. Telling Bella, "Wow, you look like death, when's the baby due?" After she'd already had her baby and changed into a vampire.

2. Slapping Alice in the face and asking if she "saw that one coming".

3. Loudly thinking about Bella and Jacob makin' puppies around Edward until he ran from the room crying.

4. Asking Bella why she bothered marrying a hundred and nine year old virgin.

5. Asking Jacob why he bothered falling in love with a girl that was obviously the most awkward, klutzy thing ever to walk the universe with the inability to close her mouth over her buck teeth, and then why he fell in love with her infant daughter, diagnosing him with a case of raging pedophilia.  

6. Telling Victoria she's a soulless ginger with a bubblegum face.

7. Making a video of Edward and Bella super-sparkly-vamped out-animal drinking in the woods, posting it on YouTube, and calling it, "A New Way to Hunt".  

8. Making constant blond jokes around Rosalie, such as, "What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the tab and throw it back! *Mee-hawhawhaw!*"

9. Hosting an annual paper-cut party just for Jasper... wondering afterwards if that was going too far...

10. Throwing a baby shower for Bella, buying all red balloons with little plastic devil horns on the top that say "Demonoid", and playing Marilyn Manson CDs the whole time.


© 2013 RachelReaper



Author's Note

RachelReaper
tell me what you thought. I think its worthy to note that I actually love Twilight, which is what made this all the more necessary.

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

I would've laughed out loud if I still showed emotion. But I'm laughing internally.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Officially the best thing I have read on here. :D

Posted 3 Years Ago


I totally get this. I love/hate twilight because the books are decent, but the acting is horrible. Number 5 is my favorite.

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

thank ya for your comment!
Aspects of institutions

Although individual, formal organizations, commonly identified as "institutions," may be deliberately and intentionally created by people, the development and functioning of institutions in society in general may be regarded as an instance of emergence; that is, institutions arise, develop and function in a pattern of social self-organization, which goes beyond the conscious intentions of the individual humans involved.
As mechanisms of social interaction, institutions are manifest in both formal organizations, such as the U.S. Congress, or the Roman Catholic Church, and, also, in informal social order and organization, reflecting human psychology, culture, habits and customs, and encompassing subjective experience of meaningful enactments. Most important institutions, considered abstractly, have both objective and subjective aspects: examples include money and marriage. The institution of money encompasses many formal organizations, including banks and government treasury departments and stock exchanges, which may be termed, "institutions," as well as subjective experiences, which guide people in their pursuit of personal well-being. Powerful institutions are able to imbue a paper currency with certain value, and to induce millions into cooperative production and trade in pursuit of economic ends abstractly denominated in that currency's units.[citation needed] The subjective experience of money is so pervasive and persuasive that economists talk of the "money illusion" and try to disabuse their students of it, in preparation for learning economic analysis.[citation needed]

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

uh... this is the second time you've posted this under my "reviews". If you have something to tell m.. read more
2. Slapping Alice in the face and asking if she "saw that one coming".

That was one particularly enjoyable! made me laugh!

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

thank ya!
I am always your fan Rachel, your writing style is over the top and fabulous. Brilliant write as always.

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

thank you!!! That seriously means a lot.
i haven't watch this thing because i don't ewhy but i find it boring but what you have written here is really truly honestly and totally funny and awesome..hey you know what Rachel..i find you really cooooool!! you are awesome!!

Posted 4 Years Ago


The dark story

4 Years Ago

No need for thanks…that is why we are here for…and thanks for the compliment but I know I am ver.. read more
RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

stupid?! How could you say that to yourself?! If your a writer, in my book your the farthest thing f.. read more
The dark story

4 Years Ago

see now you have to admit it...i couldn't get what you have said there " If your a writer, in my boo.. read more
I am so glad I don't watch that stuff, but I love your funny jabs:)

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

lol thanks analog
i absolutely lost it at #4...xD

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

lolz thanks Vincent
I laughed so hard XD
#5 lol

Posted 4 Years Ago


RachelReaper

4 Years Ago

lol thanx

First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1153 Views
40 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on February 10, 2013
Last Updated on February 10, 2013

Author

RachelReaper
RachelReaper

About
Hey!!!!! My name is Rachel, and my unofficial last name is Reaper. I am 14 years old. Blood and kisses to all who review my work, I appreciate it so much and couldn't express to you how much it means .. more..

Writing
Runaway Runaway

A Poem by RachelReaper



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


SEX SEX

A Poem by The Nude Writer