Farther Away

Farther Away

When it holds you,

It feels like a

Security blanket,

But it's much too cold.

When you hold it,

It feels like something

Stable for once,

But it shatters

Much too easily.

You cling to it

Out of desperation,

Because nothing else

Would have you,

But the truth?

It won't have you, either.

It doesn't feel.

It doesn't care.

It never has.

 

You could once

Conjure it,

Will it towards you

To wrap around

Your bleeding lips,

Your screaming heart,

Or whatever was left.

But it was

Much too translucent

For you to ever control.

 

A glass castle

Quivering on a fault,

But it's your fault,

You summoned it here.

You didn't know,

But that's irrelevant.

You haven't the slightest

Clue the damage you've

Dealt in.

It doesn't want you,

It's after you.

It won't help you,

It devours you.

It cannot love you.

It can only destroy.

 

You think you're being

Picked up,

As you lay dying,

Your tears wiped away,

You don't understand.

It's tossing you into

The same abysmal void

It tosses every victim.

Sounding as sweet

As your most pleasant dream,

It whispers to you,

Only to rip into you later

In its own sadistic game.

It's taking a form now,

A distinctive shape.

I know, I see it, too.

It's becoming quite clear

To me now,

And to you,

 

Everyone has their demons,

But are yours close

Enough to

Touch? 

Author's Note

something i wrote, i would appreciate it if you would review this. Did you get the Dickinson reference?

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

Like this, the concise, strong style that contains lots of good imagery, as well as the
clever question at the end..

[RachelReaper]

thank you Leslie!

[Ethale Captor]

Demons can not only be close enough for you to touch, but for them to touch you. Excellent work.

[RachelReaper]

well said. You know, one day when i'm dead and if I can become an angel, I swear I'm hunting down every demon I ever came in contact with.

[Ethale Captor]

Sounds good, I do not see why not.

[RachelReaper]

sorry if I sound crazy, maybe I am.

[Ethale Captor]

I can most definitely sympathize. They say that if one thinks they are crazy, they are not, because if they were crazy, they would not know it. With this said, a general rule of thumb is that if one tells them self they are crazy, it means they are not. But by continuously telling them self they are crazy, it make make them just so. Who knows?

[RachelReaper]

mysterious!

[Ethale Captor]

Very, I find it interesting.

[Invisible]

sounds like life, or maybe just my life, or yours, or a dream, a very disturbing dream. had plenty of those lol

[RachelReaper]

Or my imagination.

[Invisible]

maybe, is mine any better? besides, imagination is a good thing, letting it take hold of you is the problem XD

[RachelReaper]

letting it win is a problem of mine... letting it give you panic attacks is a problem. Hm.. but what is it they say? My gift is my curse.

[Invisible]

haven't heard that one, not sure it always applies either. my gift for example is believing I can control the temperature of faucet water, or read people's minds at random moments, or dream about places that I've never been to but someday will, things like that. you know they say the true sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results; but what about doing different things over and over and expecting the same results?

[RachelReaper]

you have reverse insanity, yet not quite sane lol

[Invisible]

I thought as much, or did I? lol

[Ohhhwillow]

"It feel like a comfort blanket but it's much too cold" may perfect the line you were going for!
This piece is quite enchanting, the metre is lovely and rather suited to the feeling you portray, of a complicated, frustrated heart full of anxiety.

Good luck Rachel.

P.s the crystal castles reference was lovely, a phrase I myself have used!

[RachelReaper]

thank you Willow

[Rhianne Ney]

I am not associated with Emily Dickinson so I don't get the reference that you placed here.
But I do agree with the theme of the poem since it speaks of the truth. We all have our little demons out there. Some that we hide and some that we show everyone. It's like a glue with a strong connection with the skin. These demons can't be conquered if we don't give up holding onto it. (:
Haha, ranting again, aren't I?
Anyways, great poem~

[RachelReaper]

not ranting, more so telling me what you thought, which I greatly appreciate as always Rhianne.

[Rhianne Ney]

(; thanks Rachel

[Damien Thibodeaux]

I was wondering while reading...what is it? What is it? Naturally, her own demons. Quite an artistic write. I really like it, Rachel.

[RachelReaper]

thank you, Damien, and I'm glad you got what I was talking about.

[Dean Kuch®]

Betrayal, fear, loathing...this poetic piece of prose has it all for the darker kiddies. Very spooky and surreal as told from the perspective you utilized. It gives the whole thing an almost ghost-like, phantom-esque quality. Much like trying to catch a whisp of icy breath on the wind.
Nice!

[RachelReaper]

thanks Dean

[realmwriter]

Very nice. Resentment, fear, power, betrayal, all are present in this piece...! I could get lost trying figure all the meaning of it, very nicely done...!

[RachelReaper]

thank you for reading :D

[realmwriter]

Your most welcome...!

[Alisha Heistand]

I liked the reference very much, and I like how it makes the reader think. Great job

[RachelReaper]

thanks Alisha.