Anorexic thoughts from a Bulimic heart~

“Absence reminds me of all the things I'm not

Silence tells me what I will never be”

Everything about me once vibrant and alive

is dormant

an abyss of wants and needs that are anorexic

Screaming from a throat sliced by reality

fails to change my world

(I have failed me)

Call me a pansy a*s writer if you want

but I want the things that make me so

The dandelions weaved through my hair

making love in the tall grass on hot summers day

Naked in the moonlight with midnights shadows

casting our touches from the void and unto flesh

Looks of love and lust over coffee

the laughter while we fling dog s**t into the

neighbors yard..(because we're so bad-a*s)

I want to be the woman and the girl

(vixen and innocence)

I want to be the first thing you think of in the morning

the last thing makes you rise at night

I don't want to be the secret smile

I want to (be) the smile

To bad all of this life has made my thoughts

on love bulimic

Silence, absence...standing still

waiting to die.

(wanting things I just can't have)

and my Mother's voice from all those

years ago sing to me in a haunting whisper

“Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.”

~An invisible life imprint on my soul~

Reviews

[.]

I like the metaphors you use and I think they say a lot. There's a voice here that's crying out for the things in dreams, for the wants, and for the quenching of a soul that's been malnourished. You did a fine job, but for now, my words escape me on anything further.

I've grown tired of the reviews from others that praise the writer in a way that skirts around the meaning of a poem in order to seduce the writer himself/herself, so I won't do that here. I will only say that I've read some of your work and you are a fine poet.

[Southern Cross]

So beautifully written with passion, longing and a touch of comedy. I think it hurts those the most (who have such passion and soul) when the desires needed are not achieved. Simply things cast upon us through a romantic dream seem so far away in the distance..we can taste it, feel it and yet not hold it ..always reminds me of those 3 D movies...your hand reaches out ready to grasp the image and ghost like it never feels our grasp. Beauty is found in your heart and soul ..like a butterfly drifting on the whim of the breeze. Thank you for sharing this exquisite piece.

[Siddhartha]

A sort of breaking free. A new turn. It's sensual but in a different way - catalyzing the resurgence of feminism in the midst of suppression. And as a reviewer rightly mentioned - it seems intensely personal. Thanks for sharing Lily... :)

[Bourbon Key]

Morbid and erotic at the sme time. I like it.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

Wow, Miss Lily. This is amazing work. What a stunning metaphor.
Your thoughts are a gift to us all. Such creativity has not given
me goosebumps like this in a while.

[angelink]

I will not ever call you or even think of you as "a pansy a*s writer." Your truely amazing. Love this poem, "Anorexic thoughts from a bulimic heart" is a brilliant title.

[Ememuelle]

I found this deeply moving. As somebody who can empathise with your way of life I truly admire this piece of work.

[eglantine]

I LOVE the use of parenthesis in this poem. It's the speaker quietly aware of the truth but not quite ready to accept/admit

[Revery]

Oh Lily, PASSION!! You are pure and beautiful and vixen and adventure and and free spirit and are just such a beautiful tapestry of self. Do you realize how much your admired and loved. Dear if you have any fault it is probably that your too good, that's all. You shine so bright and we are all so lucky to have you here. Thank you for being you. Love you dear friend.

[absule]

great write. wow just wow

[Kailor Mason]

I agree with Robbie. Originally I looked at this title because I had anorexia when I was younger, and I was surprised because it wasn't about that physically; but I like how you took that to describe the condition of your heart and mind. I never thought about it like that before, but your words are magnificent; I could literally feel love hungering and pulsing in the lines of this poem.