Erev Elul אלול

I have never Prepared
for a month of this,
Of recognizing how much, how many
How long I have gone on,
Not expecting much of
Your belief in me.

I have a lifetime of lists
Of sins, of mismatching, “missing
the mark,” to check off. To bring
Them into open air. To admit
I am sometimes careless with
Gifts. Not knowing how best
To use what I have been given.

I have never prepared
For a month of this,
An opportunity to stand
With open hands and be held
Accountable. For my faith and spirit
As much as my laziness, my easy ego.
My life and a book and an emptiness
That I know how to make. Like you did,
to make room for the entire universe.
I can make room for you.