She

She had eyes like early mornings

and a calculating smile.

She was my perpetrator,

my sense of security.

 

Hair was struck and paled

by sunshine.

Bitter, sour, unforgiving

her eyes were the city lights.

 

She was the hurricane.

Gentle. Alluring. Elegant.

She had eyes like morning glory

and a feisty avalanche mind.

 

She was the northern lights

the autumn wind

the age-old history

the salt to an open wound

 

She had eyes like most defiant storms

and temper of burnt ice

She was the mountain air

She was the morning sun

Reviews

[Audrey Howitt]

Elegant piece of writing--great imagery and flow--just lovely work!

[Persona]

So short, so sweet. I love your poetic rhythm. Most poetry doesn't have a real beat or sold, but this does. There were quite a few entries copying the sort of thing you went for but yours stood out because I could feel something - could see something shine through. This breathes and has a life to it. What's great is that you take her personality into account and that fact that she's "feisty" is really relatable to women. She's not just beautiful or flirtatious, but also the kind of spirit I can admire. What truly, deeply got me were all the comparisions and associations with weather - "burnt ice" was a fabulous oxymoron! This is calm and romanticised. Just amazing.

I hope you've got more amazing work - http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/The-150-250-word-contest%21/45337/ enter my next contest. Let's see if you can beat that 3rd prize ;)

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

You can't fault a master for reflecting nature, you can't fault a bird for singing. old friend.

[Kim]

Simply Beuatiful, Enjoyed this

[Erica Daubert]

Beautiful! I love reading poetry that describes beautiful women. They're so taken for granted out there these days that it's refreshing to see men who still respect and see women as delicate creatures... not porn stars. i can even tend to be a bit guilty of it at times, too; thank you for putting a smile on my face.

[...]

Oh wow, I liked this, this is really wonderful,
I enjoyed this.

[Grenadine Ida]

i love the metaphor used in this poem, feels so right and sexy. its not easy to find such metaphor unless we have strong feeling over the object ;)

"and a calculating smile" is my favorite line. wow the metaphor to the city lights is touching and perfect

[Alysa]

"She was the hurricane.
Gentle. Alluring. Elegant.
She had eyes like morning glory
and a feisty avalanche mind."

I love this stanza. There is so much explained and so much imagery in just this one stanza. Great job.

[leppero]

good job here, L Birdie
mixture of calm and stormy makes a pretty good contrast.
easy to read and understand.