well this is going to be a bit of a sad poem.

Well this is going to be a bit of a sad poem.

Friday June 28, we broke up. And I shed exactly two tears, but only because you didn’t fight for me.
I wanted you to show me you loved me, and you gave up. We were two days shy of making a year.

It is now Tuesday night/ Wednesday morning. 12:31 AM. 7/3/2013. And you still haven’t called nor text me.

I don’t know why I expected so much from you why I thought that you would make an attempt, even after a year you never made an attempt.

I still haven’t found the power to cry, maybe because a part of me knows you never loved me in the first place.

Love is what I showed you. The way I thought about you, the way I looked at you, the way I talked about you, the way I wrote poems about you, the way I closed my eyes and listened to you talk, that was love.

And no matter how many times people say you were just shy, it doesn’t matter. Because when you love somebody everyone will know it. And not even I, who was dating you, knew it.

Now when I watch romance movies I don’t wish I had that love story. I get really pissed off because I thought that that was what I had, and it was a lie.

Everything you did or said was a lie. And I know this because everything I said and did was the truth. And the day we broke up you couldn’t even lie to me to tell me you would attempt in the relationship.

It doesn’t hurt that we broke up. I’m just hurt because you didn’t care enough to attempt. It was all me from the start. It was my LOVE for you that made me think you would show me something back and I waited a YEAR. That is what love does. And you fed into it saying that you loved me too and that you felt the same way from the beginning. But it was just me telling you what to say.

The next day I drank two cups of wine. And I texted you my feelings and how I wish you would’ve fought for me. And you told me you still love me and I threw my phone on the table and yelled, that you should have told me that while I was breaking up with you, to absolutely no one. And then I reread the texts and realized that you were doing what you were good at.

You were just trying to make me feel better.

And that was probably the worst feeling I have ever felt because it didn’t help at all.

And I didn’t cry at all these past few days because “I was strong” and “you didn’t deserve me anyway”.

But now I am crying because it finally sank in. you still haven’t text me, called me, or showed up at my doorstep telling me you were an idiot.

It’s too bad that my life wasn’t written by Nicholas sparks, because maybe this would have a happy ending. But it doesn’t.

And this is still a very sad poem.