Poisoned Dreams

Poisoned Dreams

A Poem by Mercury Mirrors
"

Half for a contest I'm entering it in, & Half just because it popped out of my brain & splattered on the page & I wanted to save it. :] Enjoy.

"

This poison spreads within my being,

It's burning my eyes & I am seeing,
Evil colors dancing around my vision,

Greens, Plums, mustards & crimsons.

In an invisible wind, they twist & twirl,

They pile up in clouds then slowly unfurl.

Are they all in my head?
Could I be dead?

They brush against my skin, & the contact burns,

They're all the colors of the vomit your stomach churns.

"I must finally be going crazy"

I think as they float through the air, so lazy.

All yellow & glowing

And rolling & flowing.

Like smoke from a fireplace,

The searing heat hurts my face,

Makes my eyes water & the colors blur,

Whether this is real or fantasy, I am still unsure.

© 2008 Mercury Mirrors


Author's Note

Mercury Mirrors
Should I delete the last 6 lines?

My Review

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Reviews

i really enjoyed reading this poem!
i liked the use of colors and imagery! i vote keep the last 6 lines....definitely keep the last 2.....those are my absolute favorite!
there were two lines i wasnt sure about...
"Are they all in my head?
Could I be dead?"

to me, those lines broke up the flow of the piece a little...maybe add more words to those phrases so they fit in better.

overall, great write!


Posted 13 Years Ago


No no no! Leave them, this is fabulous! I love the colors. :) Great job Lizz. One small correction though (so you get it for your contest) I think your second yellow line should be they, not the? Is that right?
Great piece. I love this! :)

Posted 15 Years Ago



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173 Views
2 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 3, 2008
Last Updated on June 4, 2008

Author

Mercury Mirrors
Mercury Mirrors

Pensacola, FL



About
Okay, for lack of time, (and most of all for the sake of nostalgia for my angsty and self-absorbed teenage years), I have ripped one of those ancient myspace surveys from the forgotten planes of the i.. more..

Writing
ily. ily.

A Poem by Mercury Mirrors