DL - Sédanta

DL - Sédanta

A Chapter by Loekie
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Second chapter of the initial section of A House Fractured entitled Darkness Looming.

"

A sharp breeze flowed through the two main windows of the living chambers. The faint salt scent told Li the wind was coming off the sea. The early spring day was closing to a pleasant end. Li looked forward to the start of a new day with her friends.


Li yr Swian quickly cleaned the remnants of the bath she had just give the old King. The bath salt’s soft hint of lavender lingered as she glanced out from the small enclosure to check on Sédanta.


The old King stood by one of the windows, staring toward the blue sky as if he searched for something. His long wet hair hung limply against his narrow head; the once striking mane of black now strings of white and grey.


“Sire, would you like a cup of tea?” Li asked as she placed unused towels back onto a shelf. Sédanta slowly shook his head, keeping his focus outside the room. The figure at the window was gaunt and humped, not the tall and regal body he once had. A shaking wizened hand held the stone wall, keeping him steady. Li placed the unused towels away, with the clay jars of bath salts and soaps.


It had been the same routine for close to three cycles, or three years and a day as the old King would say. She would start the morn, making sure Sédanta broke his fast. The rest of the day would be her being a companion until the end of the day. A bath and tidying up. For supper and putting Sédanta to bed, Rhonabwy came to the lonely suite of chambers in the tallest of the seven towers of Dún Suíbhné.


Li wiped her hands on her apron as she left the bathing enclosure. The living quarters of the suite was sparsely furnished. In the centre was a dark green divan Sédanta would sit on when he ate his meals. In front of it was a simple, scarred walnut table and an overstuffed brown chair she used to sit with the old man.


As she ran her hand over the top of the divan, different memories swarmed in her mind. Some days she would listen to stories he would tell or lectures on a myriad of things. Lately, though, he was silent, telling no tales. The madness that imprisoned him cycles ago had grown deeper.


“I don’t know why you youngings insist in calling it a cycle? It is a year and a day. Thirteen turns and a day. Cycles remind me of a season, not four.” Sédanta’s eyes stared at Li, twinkling mischievously.


“Sire, I have no idea.” Li put down her knitting needles. “This is what we learned in school. They told us as Dalldav and his sons worked on the calendar, they considered a year and a day to be a complete cycle around the sun.”


“Phah! He never called it a cycle. Did you not read his book on his work?”


“No.”


“What has modern education come to?” Sédanta ran his hand through his black grey hair. “Calling it a cycle diminishes MidSummer or Ogmios as the elves call it. Or sidhé as you would say.”


“Sire, MidSummer is the most important day of the cycle. That has not changed.”


Sédanta wagged a finger at Li. “It has just become a reason for raucous celebration. Like Samhainn. People are becoming more and more divorced from the Land. From the Blood. I’ve seen it. I’ve seen things like potters using magick to produce the same vase again and again. They are all the same. No artistry.”


Li sighed as the memory receded. Absent-mindedly, she reached out with her foot to push down an edge of the Aranrhod carpet around the sitting area. It was gold and red with patches that were threadbare. The sight saddened her.


More and more of the living suite was unused. Li glanced about the room to the writing table and bookcases. She remembered when Sédanta used them, suggested book. When he was active.


“You have to keep an eye on him,” Deimne, his previous caretaker had warned her. They had spent a few evenings together at her local public house, the Gored Boar, drinking flagons of ale. Deimne had initiated the meeting when Li learned she had been selected to be Sédanta’s primary caretaker.


“The old King is the last thing they want to worry about.” Deimne took a sip of her wheat ale. “That is why they chose you.”


Li sat back in her chair, offended. Deimne’s eyes grew wide, seeing the reaction. She reached out, touching Li’s hand.


“I did not mean that as a slight!” Deimne’s voice softened. “There are more experienced people in the court that should be his caretaker yet the Houses do not see Sédanta as a priority. It seems they see the old King as an embarrassment. Someone they would like to forget.”


“I suppose that is why they have his suite of chambers in the top of the tallest of the seven towers of Dún Suíbhné.”


Deimne laughed softly, shaking her head. “That is because they do not want him to escape again. They did not realize the grip of his madness and it allowed him a chance to escape. They dare not let it happen again. So they put him in the tallest tower. From the main window, you can see the roof tops of the castle complex to the rocky face of the Escarpment. And far below, is a simple courtyard and garden. All Sédanta can glimpse at yet never visit.”


“But what drives his madness?” Li was curious, since she knew so little of what had happened to the old King.


“Cycles ago, from what I hear, Sédanta looked into a scrying mirror created by Llacheu. It is said that the mirror can show the future. They say something he saw drove him mad.” Deimne took a sip of her ale.


“Yet it was slow to manifest. At first, no one knew. But over time, the madness grew so his son, Cobhthach had to act. Based on the recommendations of the physicians and the druids of the Order, Cobhthach removed the King from the throne. They placed Sédanta in some quarters in the Southern Tower.”


“And then he escaped.” Li took a sip of her pale ale.


“He did. How, I have no idea. All I’ve heard is a severe storm rolled over Dún Suíbhné, allowing him to escape. And he was away for over four cycles. The search was extensive but the Order could not find him. It was by pure chance, I heard, he was sighted in the market place of Tuaim Inbhir. And then they brought him back here.”


“Why?”


Deimne shrugged. “I have no idea. The gossip says the Houses used security threat as a reason. No one, save the druids know.”


“Have you seen him since he was brought back?”


“They asked me to take care of him until they found a replacement caretaker.”


“You did not want the responsibility?”


A rueful smile came to Deimne’s face. “I sense anyone that was involved with the old man is being blamed for his escape. That is why, I feel, they chose you. You are young. Have no ties to the court or the Houses.”


Li stared at Deimne, thunderstruck. “That is not fair. You have nothing to do with his escape. Did you?”


“No.” Deimne glanced about the pub. Her voice dropped. “The court is filled with intrigue, my dear. Some would say a den of vipers. The House Suíbhné is but one of the nine Houses. Then there is the Reachtas. And don’t forget the Order. You want to stay out of that. Just take care of Sédanta and avoid the court.”


At first, Li had no problem with the court. Sédanta’s madness was mild. The old King was coherent yet secretive. When she tried to bring up his time away from the court, a mischievous glints came to his eyes. He touched the side of his node, saying naught.


It was eight turns ago, Sédanta spoke of his wife and son. At first Li thought he spoke of Cobhthach and Yvanne, his dead wife. Yet the old King spoke as if his wife was still alive, waiting for him. She decided to be bold, try to gain information.


“Your wife is not with us, Sire,” Li said as she placed mutton stew and a glass of water in front of him.


“I can see that, my dear.” Sédanta rolled his eyes. “We are here alone. No, she is out there, waiting for me to leave here.”


“And where is she?”


A bright smile came to his face, as his eyes shimmered. “That I cannot say.”


“Why for ever not?”


Sédanta glanced about the room. With his index finger, he swept a wide circle, pointing to all the walls.


“The walls listen,” he said in a conspiratorial voice. “Don’t ever underestimate the Order. They have their means.”


“But they know who Yvanne is.”


A puzzled looked darkened the old man’s face. “Who?”


“Your wife. Yvanne.”


Confusion dashed the glint in his eyes. “I have no idea who you are talking about.”


Li, seeing the reaction, decided to leave the subject. Every time a new sliver of detail about the wife and son could be gleaned, she would tell the King. Yet it was the reaction of the court druid, Blaí ap Asal, that ruled the court.


Closing her eyes, Li took a deep breath. Frustration had been growing over the past while with the court druid. Blaí arrogantly would remind her of her place; he knew more than she did. What fuelled the exasperation was that the druid never saw the look in Sédanta’s eyes when he spoke of his other wife and son. They were clear, with an intensity she could only attribute to love. Li believed that the old King had found love when he had escaped the shackles of his locked room.


She tried to glean details from what Sédanta would say to prove her feelings but the old man stayed vague. She took to keeping a journal, trying to piece the puzzle before her. Subtle attempts to gain information from the people in the court were politely rebuffed, especially by the druids. One journeyman, Aífe, warned her not to get involved; there were some things left alone.


Her eyes opened, to focus on the hunched man at the window. Four turns ago, she noticed a change in the old King. He was drawn deeper into the madness. He became withdrawn, speaking less and less. Li knew the madness had a solid grip when he did not recognize his granddaughter, the only one from the family he always recognized. Her heart broke the first time Sédanta did not know who Íde was.


Tears filled Princess Íde’s as she reached the door. “I don’t understand why my father is keeping him this way.”


“I have no idea, ma-am.”


“They have clipped his wings. Caged him.” The princess looked at her grandfather, sitting on the divan, staring blankly at his writing desk. “They starved his spirit and now it is killing him.”


Li jumped, startled, seeing Sédanta staring at her. Deep long wrinkles lined his circumscribed face. His dull black eyes were sunk against the crags. He mumbled something which Li could not understand. A small drop of spittle formed on his lower lip.


“What did you say, Sire?” She moved across the room. A small cloth came from her apron to wipe the drop. He mumbled again. Li strained to hear what he was saying but he spoke too softly.


“Are you in pain?” Worry came over Li. Something emanated from the old King she could not place. Sédanta slowly shook his head, the strings of hair fluttering about. When she looked in his eyes, Li saw fear. Gently, she touched his wrinkled face.


“What is it, Sire?” Her maternal instinct welded in her. In the back of her mind, Li could hear the voices of her friends. They did not comprehend the bond she had with the old King. Friends like Skena or Buino thought she pitied Sédanta yet they did not understand. He was gaoled in his chambers every day with almost no visitors. His son only came when something new occurred with his father. Íde came occasionally but the increasing demands of the court limited her visits.


Li’s feelings had become maternal as the madness grew. No one seemed to care about the old man sealed on the top of the tower. Her defence of him grew fierce, especially against the court druid. Over the part two turns, she had more than one altercation with him, almost becoming a shouting match.


“I need to see my son.” The words came out more clearly; Li shook her head to clear her mind.


“Pardon?”


“I need to see my son,” his voice grew in strength. “And my wife.”


“Your wife is dead, Sire.” Li said in a gently voice. “But if you wish to see your son, I can have the King sent for.”


Sédanta frowned, puzzled by her words. “Dead? King?”


“Yes, Sire. Yvanne died ten cycles ago.” Li reminded him. “Before you looked in the mirror.”


“I have to see my son!” Sédanta said with lucidity and force, his eyes clear. “I need to speak to him.”


“As I said, Sire, I can have the King summoned.”


With a sudden burst of energy, the old man reached out, grabbing Li’s forearm in a tight grip.


“You do not understand, child. It is clear now. It is so clear.” The grip grew stronger. “A great evil hovers above the Land. It will be unleashed if not stopped. I must talk to him!”


“I don’t know what you are talking about,” Li tried to remove Sédanta’s hand yet he would not let go. Worry grew in Li; she had never seen him in such a state.


“I must speak to him. The Land is in peril. He could be subsumed by evil. I cannot let that happen.” Sédanta looked about wildly. “It is the Blood. It is the Blood.”


The grip grew painful. “Please, Sire. Let me go.”


Suddenly he released her. His dark eyes darted about. “He is but a child. They cannot meet. I have to prevent their encountering each other. He will listen to me. He will.”


“I don’t know what you mean, Sire.”


“You don’t understand. You just don’t understand,” he said forlornly. The words chilled Li. Sédanta shuffled back to the window.


“Darkness,” he started to mumble again. As he stared out the window, two tears rolled down his ragged cheek. “It must be stopped. Dark clouds are forming over Dún Suíbhné. Darkness. A great, terrible shadow is before us.”


Li came up to the old man and gently place her hand on his shoulder. “Sire, it may be best if you rested. The sun is getting low in the sky. Maybe a nap before you up will do you some good.”


For a long time Sédanta did not answer. He stared out the window. Finally he turned to look at his caretaker, his eyes dry.


“Why? The birds will be here soon. And you know how I love my birds. Especially the blue ones.”


“Yes, Sire.” Li sighed, sadly looking at the once regal man. His madness made him prone to mood swings and wild imaginings. There were few birds about the castle so early in spring. It would be at least a fortnight or a turn before the birds would come to the garden outside the window, especially blue ones.


Li stood beside the old man, not knowing what to do. He stood, again, sedate, searching the sky. She was torn, part of her wished to stay with him. Yet she had to report to the King about his father’s new outburst. It was a standing order that she report any new developments of Sédanta’s madness. She had hoped to meet her friends for a flagon as they did at the end of every week.


Quickly she took off her apron and went back to the bathing area. She slipped it onto on of the shelves. Without thought, her hands ran over her light brown robe, the uniform the court made the servants wear when on duty. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Sédanta had not noticed her walking away.


As she approached the main door, Li reached deep into the folds of her robe, into a small pocket. A silver key with no teeth or notches came out. From left to right, Li ran the key along the doorjamb. An incandescent glow of saffron followed the key. As she reached the simple golden door handle, there was a click. She pushed the door open.


For a moment, Li paused, unsure if she should leave. The sudden outburst was unexpected; it was possible the Sédanta might have another. Yet the old man stood at the window, calmly. Ughaine would be there shortly. All she had to do was report to the King and she would be free.


With a sigh, Li walked down the steep, curved stairs in the centre of the tower. At the bottom, to her right, a small wooden door led out to the courtyard and to her left, a large archway going into the main castle complex. Li paused at the bottom of the stairs for a moment, trying to determine where she would find the King.


With the sun close to setting, a new day was about to start. Lately the King spent more time in his sitting room, trying to escape the demands of his office. As she started to the front of the castle, a shock of wavy red hair came around the corner. Her friend Skena broke into a smile.


“So off to the Boar soon?” she asked, stopping in front of Li.


“Not just yet.” There was a soft sigh. “I must see the King. I’ll try to come by later.”


“Is he ranting again?” The red curls rippled about as Skena shook her head.


“He is on again about the son who is not his son.”


“That again?”


“This is serious, Skena.”


“You still believe there is a b*****d out there?”


“I don’t know for sure,” Li had to admit. She had a feeling in her heart that it was possible that the King had sired a son. If he had found love, it was not hard to imagine he might have had children.“They have no idea where he was for all that time. Or who he was with.”


“They know.” Skena said in a low, conspiratorial voice. “How can’t they? They found the old man in some small town. In the market place. By asking around, they would have found out where he lived. And with who. They just don’t want us to know.”


Li let out a small laugh. “You would think so, coming from here. I’m from a small fishing village near Caer Mór. We don’t talk to outsiders about our private affairs. We close ranks especially with respect to the druids from the Order. No one would say a word. I believe the King learned nothing of his father’s whereabouts.”


“If you say so.” Skena did not sound convinced. “I just don’t understand why you stay with the old man. You have some schooling. There is so much more you can do with your life. You are young. I don’t understand why you are wasting your time.”


“Leave it be.”


“It looks like you are hiding.”


“Skena!” Annoyance flashed in her eyes. She did not need to explain herself to her friend.


“It is because of Buino?”


“No!” The sharpness of Li’s response made Skena jump in surprise. “This is not the time for this. The old man is agitated and I have my responsibilities.”


“I know he is sweet for you, Li. Are you saying you aren’t interested?” Skena asked slyly.


A blush came to Li’s cheeks as she looked away. This was not something she wanted to talk about at the moment. “I have to go.”


Skena shook her head. “I don’t understand this, Li. You are but nineteen. Your life is still ahead of you. I wouldn’t want to spend my days with a drool idiot, hiding up ...”


“Skena!” The rebuke echoed through the corridor. “He was King once. You should not talk about him like that!”


“If you say so.” Skena dismissed her friend.


“You don’t understand. They should have let him be. Let him live wherever he had escaped to. It is unfair to make him live like a caged bird up in that room.”


“In the end, that is of no concern. What is done is done.” Skena looked over Li’s shoulder. “I’m off. I hear an ale calling my name.”


“I’ll see you later.”


Skena gave Li a wink. “Buino will be there.”


“Leave it, Skena!”


“Well, then, be seeing you.”


“And you.” As Skena headed to the changing rooms, Li went in the opposite direction. Her soft shoes slapped quietly on the marble floor. A faint smell of pine hung in the air; the newly washed floors shined in the flickering lamp light. The red stone walls and oak doors blurred past her as she moved forward.


Just outside the Long Room, she stopped, seeing her reflection in a large mirror. A faint grimace came to her face. She was still gaining weight. Her bland robe made her look frumpy. She ran her hands along her sides. The weight seemed to be settling around her hips and legs. It makes me look like a pear.


And it doesn’t help I have small breasts. Li looked closer at her reflection. Her face had not changed much. Her light olive skin was clear and shiny. She had a faint jiggle under chin but it did not worry her. Her hazel eyes glistened in the flickering light from the wall sconces.


Li straightened her black hair. She should not obsess about her weight. Buino had said more than once all she needed was a little caution with her diet and some exercise. She was still young. But she had to focus on her duty of the moment.


As she opened the door leading to the Long Room, she noticed the silence. The sun cast a pale green glow on the numerous paintings and tapestries that hung on the rich wooden walls. The crystal goblets set for dinner had a verdant shimmer to them as well. Yet nothing else had been set on the table - no plates, no cutlery. As she scurried through the room, she hoped the staff would correct their tardiness to prepare the table soon; supper time quickly approached.


She mounted the wooden stairs to the sitting room with some speed. The short climb came to a landing where a single royal guard stood. He wore light chain mail instead of the standard black livery. Li gave him a coy smile. His pale blue eyes turned to her slightly. A hint of a smile came to his face as he stiffly opened the door. Li took a deep breath, preparing herself to see King Cobhthach.



© 2008 Loekie


Author's Note

Loekie
Being a major revision of the first draft, I am looking for everything - grammar, POV problems, plotting issues. Please note, spelling is Canadian not American so don't point the differences. Hit me with your best shot!

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Ohh, I remember this chapter too and how much I liked it then. I don't remember enough to see what, if anything you have changed, but I still like Li and the mad King. Two things...during the flashbacks, I think you need stronger transitions of some sort to show Li remembering those conversations. The italics alone does not transition. The other issue, again, a bit of redundancy where not needed, and pointed out below. I do believe one of your greatest strengths is the dialogue you us and the scene-images you create with them. Its like you have paid greater attention to the dialogue than the set ups. Slow down and look at that which is not dialogue and weave it as well as you do your dialogue. When I get into your dialogue, I am reading so fast, and so involved that if I am passing over mistakes, well...thats good - sort of, because your dialogue captures my full attention.

Again, a good read my friend and now for a few comments. Take what you can use and trash the rest.


1...The faint salt scent told Li the wind was coming off the sea. The early spring day was closing to a pleasant end. Li looked forward to the start of a new day with her friends.

A few issues. "The" is used twice in back to back sentences. I know...but it feels telling. Also, "told Li the wind," is a passive form of telling. I think to really drive this image and scene home, you might want to consider combining parts of the second sentence to the first and eliminating the told. There is also a redundany of terms...closing and end, both meaning the same. Try something like this...

The faint salt scent drifted from the sea, bringing a pleasent close to an early spring day. Li looked forward to the start of a new day with her friends.

2...of the bath she had just give the old King... Watch your tense's. had is past so give should be given...I think.

3...staring toward the blue sky as if he searched for ... staring toward the blue sky. He either is or is not. Now Li could not possibly know since she is not in his head, but others might point this out as weak. Others might say to make it stronger... staring to the blue sky, staring off into the ... so many ways, but I like towards myself to show the observer is somewhat unsure. So long as the observer is the POV and not the narrator.

4..."Sire, would you like a cup of tea?" Li asked as she placed unused towels back onto a shelf.

Ok...this may be a personal reading preference thingy. Motivation and response. You tell us Li asked, but the question mark serves that purpose. If you get rid of Li asked, then the tag would need to be rearranged. Try something like this. Li placed the unused towels back onto a shelf before turning to Sedanta, "Sire, would you like a cup of tea?" In this example the response comes after placing the towels on the rack and having her turn to face him. Everything that then follows would be seperate thoughts, actions and should realisticly be place in their own paragraphs. Or so I have come to understand and realize myself. I used to have a bad habit of placing large amounts of seperate action after dialogue and tag. And it tended to slow the read.

5..Li placed the unused towels away, with the clay jars of bath salts and soaps. Redundant action since Li did this at the beginning of the paragraph.

6...The rest of the day would be her being a companion until the end of the day. A bath and tidying up.

Something a little awkward about both sentences here. would be her being...be and being so close together felt awkward. I would think about reorganizing these two sentences into one since the last sentence is incomplete. Maybe something like this... The rest of day she was compamion and nurse maid, then a bath at the end and tidying up before she left. Or something along those lines.

Additional thoughts about this companion thingy...show us what she does...reading/singing to him, listening to his stories, making sure he did not wonder off or hurt himself...that sort of stuff. Not much, just a little bit to show her day and what companion means.

7...I don't know why you youngings not sure on youngings.

Two issues, I was not sure why you put this and following in italic until the end. I think you need a transition to show its Li's memories. The next is the term youngings Younglings would seem to be a little better. But just a thought as I do not want to question what may be a speech pattern of the old king.

8...She remembered when S�danta used them, suggested book. Suggested book, a single book out of all he has? I think you meant books, but then suggedted would need to be plural as well to show it happened more than once. Sedanta used them, even suggesting books for her to read. For her to read adds I think to her memories.

9...A puzzled looked darkened the old man's face. "Who?" simple typo I think...look instead of looked.

10...Over the part two turns, she had ... typo, past two instead of part two.

11...Maybe a nap before you up will do you some good." typo... I think you mean sup instead of up.

12..."In the end, that is of no concern. No concern to who. I think you need to add, your, or our concern.

13...And it doesn't help I have small breasts. This is unclear why she thinks this way. Is she selfconscious about her breast, or does she feel that is the only way to gain entry to the king or have others pay her attention. This just seemed to come out of no where.

14...She mounted the wooden stairs to the sitting room with some speed. Mounted the wooden stairs...oh the images of that. How about just climbed...hehehe.



Posted 16 Years Ago



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Added on February 5, 2008
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Author

Loekie
Loekie

Montreal, Canada



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Growing up, I never saw myself as a storyteller. But looking back, I see the seeds. I would build complex models with my Lego or Mecano, each with a story to tell. When I played with my Tonkas, Dinkey.. more..

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