Keeping my head above water

I'm trying to keep my head above water, 

Realizing this is what happens every time October comes around

The nightmares return, 

I see my dad crushed under a tank, 

I pull out the depositions from the lawsuit and reread them, 

I've read them hundreds of times, 

But something new popped out tonight, 

The man that did his job wrong, 

The man that ended up causing my fathers death, 

That same man lost his father at the same age as my brother. 

A year before graduation, 

My anxiety strikes hard, like a knife to the stomach.

All these questions that have gone through my head the past 6 years come to a striking stop. 

He did know what it was like to loose his father at a young age. 

Maybe not tragically, how he passed is something I'll probably never know.

For a quick second I felt for him, something I never thought was possible. 

I never thought I'd be able to feel anything but anger and hate towards this man. 

Towards a man who could have taken the time to do his job the right away, 

A man who should have done his job the right way because my father would still be here today. 

My hero, my everything would still be standing by my side if it wasn't for him and his negligence. 

But tonight my question was answered, this man did loose his father.