The Emptiness..In Me

I can't run away,
I can't hide,
From the emptiness i have
   I can't get rid of it,
  I can't cure it.
The emptiness still falls down..
 on me.
   I waste  my time
       alone
   with no one there
   I can't face all the days
 i have been like this.
   I hide my face,
   I try to run,
  The emptiness,
i..it's destroying me
   But it's still there,
An empty black hole in
    myself.
I hide my face,
I try to run,
 I waist time..
my whole life.

It still catches me,
the emptiness,
i can't run,
i can't hide,

 Save me from all this pain,
      Th..the
  Emptiness in me.
  

Reviews

[RTB]

GReaT WriTE i loved the way it was worded and its horrible to have to go through a torture such as bent love
but it makes a great poem

[dreamer :)]

This is beautifully depressing. It's so true and that's horrible. It's horrible that people have to suffer so much for love. It's very meaningful and truthful. I loved every part of this amazing poem! :)

[Michael Wootton]

wow, what was gd about this one was it was more performed then read. it reminds me very much of a monolouge. very imaginitive, good use of words to make us think that we was actually there with you, struggling with you. well done

[J.M]

Ow wow - I know just what you mean in this poem and you have expressed it beautifully. An absence of anything is a very difficult thing to describe and you did it very well. Good job!

[Scott Kelly]

"I waist my time" = waste my time

"But it still there," = But it's still there.

There's something problematic about describing emptiness, which is the LACK of something, as being there. Y'know? This is very lyrical and songlike and might work better set to music. Just some thoughts.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

the panic is overpowering~ you strung the words in the perfect pattern to powerfully bring forth the feeling of severe depression and anxiety~ well done~

[.]

wow-i know this well-
great write-
excellently expressed-

"It still catches me,
the emptiness,
i can't run,
i can't hide,"

AWESOME!!!

james:-)

[Nina Kari]

Anxiety attack, jk. I loved this. Agreeing with Liz-z here, I cant figure out my favorite line or anything its all...well writen? Fantasic? Stupindous? I love the way you used the uh (....) yea I know :D but I did! It makes the person actually sound scared when I read it. Great work!

[Liz-z]

Fantastic, beautiful, amazing. I really liked it, really did! :D
Just everything about it, I can't even choose a favorite line... Beautifully written, great job! :D