Pills

I do know what it is like

To feel pain beyond belief
To be crying at the end of the night

Because of another day without relief

To be told you are broken

And be pumped full of pills

As if they could "fix" you

By taking away your will

To be called spaz, retard,

F****t, gay

Weak, worthless

Believing it more every day

To have been told I'm unwanted!

"No one wants you" they'd say

Always followed by that common phrase

"Just go away"

"Just kill yourself"

Yeah, they'd go that far

To say all those words

To this day, I still feel them like a scar

And that was just in sixth grade!

How could it compare?

To six more years of being picked last

And left to pretend I didn't care

I've accepted I wont be loved

I've accepted I wont ever be protected

But why does that mean

Every day is so dreaded?

I had to repair myself!

No one came to my side!

No one called to comfort me

Any of the nights I cried!

Juggling depression, paranoia, ADHD

Counting all of the things I will never be

Beautiful, happy, successful, and together

Together... with someone I can trust forever.

But still, each night. I will eventually fall asleep

Something keeping me afloat 

In this tidal wave of defeat.

What? A hope?

For a person who will love?

I doubt it, who would come down from above

For me? I'm just a wrong answer

A screw up, a mistake.

How? When all you could know

are these pills I am forced to take.

Reviews

[one sky]

Oh, such a feeling of unwanted one...but really you should not think that nobody would be sitting beside you. There's a planned soulmate for everyone of us. Maybe this is not the right time. Perseverance is a great arm. Do not let those pills break your chance...and hope.

Sad but nicely done.

[Light]

Truth is, I am an unwanted one
I was always met with annoyed glances and shunned
All from of who I was
Back when I was little, because
I was annoying, even though I'm different now
I look at how much I've changed, and think wow
But I still live with that awful reputation
And it causes me to feel those glances like it were radiation
Now I want to love, and I am trying to improve
Become someone my loved ones can approve
But I am always reminded by these pills I take
That there is something inside me stopping me from being great
To this day, people hate me for breathing
That's how it feels, from the way their eyes are beaming
And I hope there is a sole-mate, believe me Margaux I do
But it is so hard when there isn't a single face I can talk to.

[one sky]

I've been there. I have tried so many ways of seeking for someone to talk to. Even in here. Some treated me wrong. I've been misunderstood. Some said I am weird. But it's not important anyway. I have known the ups and downs of having a friend...now I can manage it. There will be someone who will truly understand. Believe me. Just do not lose hope...and faith.

[Infinity Blues]

You're not alone hun, trust in that.
I've been there, I've been where you are. And you know what, someone will come and wrap their arms around you one day, and love you.
If you ever need a friend, feel free to message me.
A very moving, and well penned write
-Jade