The Ballad of the scared man

The Ballad of the scared man

A Poem by Luke Ritta
"

A poem about a soldier.

"

 

The Ballad of the scared man

 

 

 

The soldier aims his riffle.

 

His cheeks glow red with the cold.

Dried Blood is splattered all over his uniform.

His boots are caked with mud.

The smell of wet grass and gunpowder engulf his senses.

His fingernails are long and dirty.

The soldier sucks in the cold morning air into his lungs.

He closes his tear stained left eye.

 

       The soldier squeezes the trigger.

 

© 2011 Luke Ritta


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

I actually thought this was a tremendously well done piece. I love reading anything you write anyway so maybe I am just automatically in tune to say that this is brilliant but regardless it is ever so more true that you have a gift for weaving excellent poems.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.



Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5

Reviews

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Jb
So much is said in this short poem. Fantastic description. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The next to the last line clues us in to his feelings. So well done with that! Keep on penning.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Noa
Hi!

I think it's wonderful how without the title, you wouldn't guess the soldier is scared, but with the title, it makes so much sense. The fear would strengthen all senses, and he would be aware of all the things you described in this piece. Awesome!

As minor points, there's a typo in rifle (riffle has something to do with water, I think..), a capital in Blood in line 3, and a repetition of 'in' in the line before the last one. I also think that tear-stained might look better with a hyphen in there, but that's personal preference.

Regardless of these (very) minor things, I love what you've written here. Thank you for sharing!
-Noa

Posted 12 Years Ago


Amazing work, I felt like I was the one holding the gun, and that's what every reader wants to feel. Great job.

~ Scandalous

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very well written piece, that left me to ponder what war really means.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

WOW.! The imagery of this piece was VERY impressive and at the end I found myself scrolling down looking for more. It's very well written.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is brill. A real sence of what a soilder endures. Well written.

Posted 12 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Me
this is fabulous writing

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

feel the poem.
this one? can feel the thudding heart, the heavyness...
well written

Posted 12 Years Ago


A perfect way to describe a soldier. I can totally picture him in my mind! The details are astounding. Great write. :)

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1444 Views
41 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on October 28, 2011
Last Updated on October 28, 2011

Author

Luke Ritta
Luke Ritta

London, United Kingdom



About
Hi, I am 26 and from London. I love writing short stories, poems and novels. My writing is a bit like Jack Kerouac and Ernest Hemingway. I love reading classic Literature, from Tolstoy to Proust, I .. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..