Distant Shores

A poem about Travel.

Distant Shores

 

 

I have an illness living inside of me. It swims through my veins, crawls around my rib cage like a serpent. It sleeps in my blood cells and breathes through my skin. It is very slowly devouring my soul. It digs deep down into my mind and buries its seed. It finally has engulfed my body.

It has become me!

 

 

My heart thumps vigorously for new encounters.

My eyes want new images to stimulate them.

My feet want to feel like they are alive.

My ears want to hear sounds that make them ring with joy.

My hands want to wave good-bye to new friends.

 

I have a bug living inside of me.

A travel bug!

 

  ©LukeRitta

 

Reviews

[Aarontastic]

I think you chose a great subject (travel), and you accurately describe how it feels to really have a love for it. I know I do, and reading over the 'my heart, my eyes' litany, I found that all of those lines resonated with me.

Overall though, this is a little too simple and 'safe' for me. It seems overly orthodox. The imagery throughout is decent, but I just feel like you could do more with it and express your love of traveling in a way that's more unique. On the other hand, I am still getting to know your style, and maybe this is what you are going for. I do like how you use those exclamatory statements in your work though, it makes it feel very passionate.

[EMMIE]

I guess this is the kind of illness where you are sick of the same ol same every day and you seeck new adventure. Def feel you on this one I loooooooooove to travel myself and I can't stay in one place for too long ha ha. I've got the travel bug too. I love it it easy to relate to and written in a very creative way. Woo hooo!

[Ethan Paz]

Unique. I love the choice of words you used for this selection. I could tell lots of work was put into it. Move the world with your writing. Keep it up.

[Jack Isaac]

I am so undecided about this one. The second part is really good with a flow of sentiments rarely seen in poetry, and leads up to the last line perfectly. The first part is written very well, but has the premise of an "illness" which is typically viewed as a bad thing. So the overall impression it that this illness is a good thing.... hmmmm... I have to think about that one! Thanks for sharing this.

--96-- for writing

[Divinity Sleeps in This]

Most of the people I know are fashionably sick with the same bug. Nice job!

[Stammers]

Nice idea, liked the line -

It sleeps in my blood cells and breathes through my skin

[faryn wolff]

What a hook, what a snag. This is poetry gold, my friend.

[Rasputin]

That was cool, how it starts out as a description of a horrid disease and/or parasitical infestation, but reveals itself as an innocent, harmless desire.

[paradise]

i like it

[Brandon S. Whitten]

Enjoy a good read with my morning coffee:)

[Me]

Excellent poem