Cor Reparantes

The quote at the start isn't mine but I was unable to find a credit. I wrote this months ago but touched it up and put it up now as more a reflection more than anything

"Whatever we are now, I remember what we used to be"

The part of my soul I had to pay,
My life feels further each day.

With a pain so great and a wound so deep,
A loss I haven't forgotten, depriving me of sleep.

Always the same problem, a malediction of love,
Burning inside me, god I was naïve.

Rather than confront it, I looked away,
The fear when I lost her, nothing more can I say,

I loved her so deeply and endured all the pain,
But who was at fault, who will carry the blame?

Where lies the answer, I need it to evolve,
To put this to rest, and remember our love.

For now I must live without her move on,
Push through and find joy, now that love is gone.

A void below consumes me, I descend further each day,
and look to the hope, though so far,

I await to once again to feel love's embrace,
I've learnt from these mistakes, the like I'll never retrace

I shall cherish our love, for once you were my angel,
but you became a demon, a transition most painful.

Does she remember it, the love that I gave,
and her actions, the cause of my pain.

Like a blessing from above, she came into my life,
now my hearts bleeds, her words and actions a knife.

Will it heal, even though I'm torn apart,
Is there anything left inside this broken heart.

We were in love for so long, both so faithful
It started so innocently, that day in April

I will never forget how I felt that cold night,
embracing each other, a kiss that felt so right.

I write these words now with a tear in my soul,
for I loved her so much, since I've never felt whole.

I'm so lost, don't know where to go,
just need someone to know.

That I always loved her,

Our time together seems such a blur.

And now I know not how I truly feel,
could these emotions be a phantom of the past?, or real.

Came as a dream,
But left as a nightmare.