I Musn't

a fight to the life or death

I musn't hurt, I musn't try

to say goodbye to days gone by

 

I musn't give up hope or say

that painless days have gone away

 

I musn't cry or scream or shout

I musn't learn to do without

 

I musn't seek light in the dark

or make belive that end is start

 

I musn't give up hope or fight

I musn't try to die tonight

 

 

copywrite 2008 Lyndsay Castro

Author's Note

I wrote this today over a cup of coffee and a broken heart.

Reviews

[Prudence Desideria]

Reminds me of a nursery rhyme with a dark twist. Like what Agatha Christie tended to do to them... it flows nicely, it works with the subject matter and is a very wordsy reaction to a broken heart (this is a very veyr very good thing!). It's almost delicate, and innocent, and I can practically hear the grown voice turning into a childs innocent tone before dashing back with the last words...

As far as the formatting and some fine polish, sure that would be needed if you wanted to really get a pro version out of it, but I think it has all the potential for it :)

[Pakino]

For a a quick thought it is alright. You can further explore the thoughts to make the poem better.

[☮]

Brief and powerful. You have a nice flow and your emotions and energy are communicated very thoroughly in such short periods of time. I'm impressed.

[Pauline Marie Daley]

Beautiful in the saddest of ways. Excellent use of repetition also. The last line gives a nice emphasis to your message. Keep fighting! Life is worth living even if every night and day is filled with the words... "I musn't"

[alyssa]

LOVE IT!!! i love how you write you are an inseration to me... how much pain you take on....again LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

[MarchAprilMayJuneJuly]

wow...that was really great. it had a awesome rhyme, and flow, but it also was written with beautiful tragic words of sorrow...love it!

~may

[.::Cup^E^Cake*RaWr!*::.]

I can totaly relate to this!!
I've been to this place sooooo many times!!
Over & over again!!
You express this emotion perfectlly!!!

[Shane Patrick]

broken is usually the antagonist... very well done with this write... it speaks volumes into the dark places out minds go to ease some pain..

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

I really love this poem. It is filled with inner struggle. :P

---mishel

[Deborah Leah Krempa]

Very nicely penned. Never give up the fight. Life must go on and hope is all we have. Thank you for sharing. Debileah