Circles

Little old me, we met at my birth
gently you gave me my first kiss
with a Promise
lovingly you wanted her
so how could you try to destroy me
with your words
how did your touch begin to bring me pain
and wounds
pressed so deep
that they have damaged
the part of me needed to fly
under your foot I broke free
wounded
five year old
little old me
Showing you my scars
and telling you my pain
smiles you Promised
for me
with vows
that it never would rain
so how could you try also to destroy me
with your words
how did your touch begin to bring me pain
and wounds
pressed so deep
that they have damaged
the part of me needed to fly
under your foot I broke free
wounded
twenty-five year old
little old me.

Reviews

[Marvin Lewis Jr.]

I feel bad because you had to go through this and on the other hand I admire you for sharing it.
I can't remember reading a poem that flourished, unraveled and then blossomed all at the same time,
I like the reoccurring statement because it gave the poem a cinematic feel.

Once again, an amazing write!

[Shellie]

Lovely.... Its got a trace of a determination within yet a pine for the love you sought, and the metaphor of rain like a storm that passes eventually, and you weather it, and then at twenty five you feel the same broken feeling, but your older self stands a little defeated

[Wunderlich]

I agree with Marvin on the reoccurring statement giving off a cinematic feel. It really did. The poem was organized well, and definitely conveys the proper emotion. Well written. Nice job.

[The DuchessPoet]

Um...
your words:
how did your touch begin to bring me pain
and wounds
pressed so deep
that they have damaged
the part of me needed to fly
under your foot I broke free
wounded
five year old
little old me
Showing you my scars
and telling you my pain
smiles you Promised
for me
with vows
that it never would rain
so how could you try also to destroy me
with your words"

Your words speak to the pain I've met !
Absolutely, a Wonderfully written and Wonderfully expressed piece!

[just is]

Growing up i suffered from mental abuse adn today sometimes people seem to bringit back and they still do it, why I don't know, what they think they are gaining from it is beyond me, this touched my heart.

[Emily B]

oh, my, I remember circles. I hope the ripples of my life don't mar the surface of the lives of my children. This is an amazing write. My favorite of your work so far. . .

[Seracies]

I liked the repetition of the line, "so how could you try to destroy me." It was a dark topic that you chose to write about, yet how it was written was very well classy and beautiful. You took something dreadful and made it poetic in a way that displayed the grimmer side without making it ugly. Wonderful job.

[*** Hey Jude***]

What a touching expression of emotions healed. There is something that is very cathartic about this piece that touches the heartstrings. The metaphors that you use to describe this metamorphosis are exceptional! Very nice ~Jude :-)

[Aspiring Angel]

I have lived this as a child and at times continue to live it. Beautiful work here. When your heart has been so crushed over and over again it is hard to break free and realize that you are not all that has been spoken to you that you are. I have seen you around the halls for the time I have been here on Writer's Cafe. Always with every intent to drop in. It seems that I have picked exactly the right time to find a bit of myself in your words. Wonderful.

Blessings,
Lesa

[charlotte talley]

this poem was so touching, and moving to me. It is so sad for a person to bring such pain and suffering to a innocent child, they are gifts from God, and we need to cherish them and love them for they are our future. I love this.