Circles

Circles

A Poem by Lyrical Love

Previous Version
This is a previous version of Circles.



Little old me, we met at my birth
gently you gave me my first kiss
with a Promise
lovingly you wanted her
so how could you try to destroy me
with your words
how did your touch begin to bring me pain
and wounds
pressed so deep
that they have damaged
the part of me needed to fly
under your foot I broke free
wounded
five year old
little old me
Showing you my scars
and telling you my pain
smiles you Promised
for me
with vows
that it never would rain
so how could you try also to destroy me
with your words
how did your touch begin to bring me pain
and wounds
pressed so deep
that they have damaged
the part of me needed to fly
under your foot I broke free
wounded
twenty-five year old
little old me.


© 2009 Lyrical Love





Featured Review

I feel bad because you had to go through this and on the other hand I admire you for sharing it.
I can't remember reading a poem that flourished, unraveled and then blossomed all at the same time,
I like the reoccurring statement because it gave the poem a cinematic feel.

Once again, an amazing write!

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 9 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Lyrical Love,

This is a very nicely written poem, expressing such sadness and hurt. I loved the repetition, as well as the last two lines. There is a vulnerable child within each of us.

Keep up the good work.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked the repetition, too. And the change from five to twenty-five. There's a whole, painful story written in between these lines. Beautifully. You did very well.

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is sad that these things go in circles during our lives, we relive them by re-experiencing them over and over again. this was a painfully wonderful write with a smooth melody~

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

very nice poem , waht we do in life effects , each make our call

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

nice poem. especially liked " smiles you promised me" overall its pretty solid and leaves the effect that I believe you are going for. Maybe start your poem with the line you ended it with. could help lend support to the title.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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bey
you managed to share an abundance with few words. you are good at that by way.

this is a great poem.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

While there is life, the process goes on. Time is our mute witness for that. A great write.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

my goodness - this is a painfully beautiful poem -

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Pain is circular and cyclical. I feel you. Until you can come to terms with it your never really free of it. You continue to astound me.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The message you drew here is very bright despite the darkened edges. I like the words and how the reader is pulled in to this little girls world. I think that the flow was a little off but that's just to me. Either way, good piece.

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 8 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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223 Views
29 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on October 24, 2008
Last Updated on April 23, 2009
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Author

Lyrical Love
Lyrical Love

DEEEE-TROOOOOIT, MI



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