A Poem by MOON

Where do we go when dreams are no more?

Where is this life what is its core.

Deal out the cards, what it is for?

Twirling party dresses bought in a store.


When there is a knock, who opens the door?

Does the marooned ship ever leave the shore?

Sometimes the sweetest taste just leaves you raw.

Every battle fought ending in war.


Remember a time, tell me what you wore.

Red flagged dresses for bulls to gore.

Expressions of love that finally tore.

 Chronicle  of a fairytale, another folklore.

© 2012 MOON

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I really like this one. The constant questions that the narrator asks are, to me, filled with a strange wisdom and insight. Yet at the same time it also feels very whimsical. The images conjured by each line, each stanza are intriguing and vivid in my mind. I especially enjoyed the fact that throughout the poem you kept rhyming the same sound.

However, I cannot help but see some sort of emphasis on the line, "Sometimes the sweetest taste just leaves you raw." It's the only line that doesn't match the rhyme of the rest of the piece. It sticks out, wanting the reader to pay special attention to it. Is this purposeful? Or just me reading too much into it?

Either way, well done.


Posted 6 Years Ago

Life is full of questions, the beauty of it is finding the answers... Loved your writing, great perspective!

Posted 6 Years Ago

Passion emits, strength waiting in between each line, revealing doubt but refusing to stand down.

Posted 6 Years Ago

Brilliant with a powerful final verse.
I love the 'red flagged dresses for bulls to gore' - strong imagery.

Posted 6 Years Ago

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smooth rhyme..awesome

Posted 6 Years Ago

Such an intricately woven garment of life and lore... Profoundly moving, and rhythmically wondrous... you take us to that place where dreams are held in one hand and daylit days in the other.

Posted 6 Years Ago

A poetic tapestry in vivid interwoven strands of images and emotions.

Posted 6 Years Ago

Wow, that was great. Great imagery to describe reality.

Posted 6 Years Ago

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Awesome pen!!

Posted 6 Years Ago

It makes me think this is what maybe your life is in some way and with some questions here and there. Liked the way rhymed this and kept me like the other one in tuned and reading more til it's end.

Posted 6 Years Ago

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46 Reviews
Shelved in 6 Libraries
Added on May 5, 2012
Last Updated on May 5, 2012



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