10 Minutes

10 Minutes

A Poem by Marianne Rose
"

Loving the suspended moments of presence.

"
10 minutes
to look into your blue eyes
to memorize the crinkles
at each side
paint the crystals in my mind
to wonder at this moment
finding love
without disguise

10 minutes to watch
as you listen to bird calls
subtle changes in light
with the glint of surprise
a shadow of your sadness
always present in the depths
fatigue and loss
that binds our souls
priceless joy safely kept

I could stay a thousand moments longer
drifting in the sea
of your love for me
vast and timeless
I capture you
with hazel eyes
sparkling yet deep
our time together fleeting
this moment
we tuck into pockets
carrying it with us
parting
never truly
10 minutes
just you and me


© 2016 Marianne Rose



Author's Note

Marianne Rose
Precious time together this morning

My Review

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Featured Review

You've captured the essence of a special moment very well in this poem ... I loved it. This poem had a dream-like feel to it, reminiscent of the slightly tired, yet passionate emotions of two lovers in the morning (as I've interpreted it). This piece also has nice imagery ... it's simple yet descriptive enough to paint a picture in the reader's mind. The lines "paint the crystals in my mind / to wonder at this moment" could scarcely be improved; they helped make this poem ethereal -- as if it were too delicate to exist.

You've also done well on the technical side too. Your line breaks are in good places -- places that continuously flow or places that allow the reader to breathe.

There's nothing I can critique about this. You've done very good. Thanks for sharing.

- William Liston

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

You've captured so well in your words the feeling of that morning- dream-like, sleepy, and I loved t.. read more



Reviews

Hi Marianne. I was very taken with the premise of the poem, the fleetingness and preciousness. I love the flow and feel. And for some reason I can't quite decide, I have a favourite line, which is 'we tuck into pockets'. Probably because that encapsulates capturing and retaining special moments. I get a sense of long term long established love from the poem; there's something all-seeing about this love. Of course, there may also have been a passionate roll in the hay as part of the back-story, but it would have been an eyes wide open savour it roll in the hay.

Nice job!

Regards
Nigel

Posted 1 Year Ago


Oh man, you're good. Such good rhythm. That intimacy is great. It's like I'm looking at his eyes and feeling how you love him.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Thank you! I suspect love has entered your life- since you spoke of renewed joy. It's a wonderful fe.. read more
You've captured the essence of a special moment very well in this poem ... I loved it. This poem had a dream-like feel to it, reminiscent of the slightly tired, yet passionate emotions of two lovers in the morning (as I've interpreted it). This piece also has nice imagery ... it's simple yet descriptive enough to paint a picture in the reader's mind. The lines "paint the crystals in my mind / to wonder at this moment" could scarcely be improved; they helped make this poem ethereal -- as if it were too delicate to exist.

You've also done well on the technical side too. Your line breaks are in good places -- places that continuously flow or places that allow the reader to breathe.

There's nothing I can critique about this. You've done very good. Thanks for sharing.

- William Liston

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

You've captured so well in your words the feeling of that morning- dream-like, sleepy, and I loved t.. read more
Wow. A very powerful poem. I love how use many different emotions to create feeling in the reader and truly paint a picture in their mind. It was masterly done and I love it!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Thank you so much- I wish we all had suspended moments together to cherish and relax into. We are su.. read more
FAntastic poem which captures the importance of living from moment to moment in our lives.
10 minutes is often the time that we give ourselves to truly enjoy the present. Quite often our minds are walking a tightrope with the past and future on either sides.

"I could stay a thousand moments longer
drifting in the sea
of your love for me
vast and timeless "

I really loved this part, had me wowed. I remember that whenever I spend time with my beloved, I often wish that there should have been a thousand moments longer. And we secretly wish that they wouldn't disappear into obscurity but instead be translated to golden moments that we can cherish in our memories.

Wow,,, Great poetry does inspire great poetic comments too... See ure poem had an effect on me.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Yes- poets speaking to each other, back and forth, create some of the greatest synergy of ideas and .. read more
Ashwin Shanker

1 Year Ago

Ironically, The latest poem which I shared is also about living in the present moment. Do have a loo.. read more
Beautiful poesy! Full of imagery and beauty. "Finding love without disguise," amazing line!


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Thank you! Inspiration pours out of my husband every morning- but I don't always get a chance to sav.. read more
Cyprian Van Dyke

1 Year Ago

You're most welcome!
Wonderful poem about the short amount of time we have with the people we love. Just a glance really, and then they're gone. We need to take advantage of it as much as possible.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Yes, so true. Every once and a while I remember the many times I almost lost my husband in an operat.. read more
Every moment is glorious when you approach them like this. The beauty of a single moment, captured magically in your writing. This is the way to live, astounding Marianne. Time is always ticking, but you know what is important in your heart, and I believe that's what life is all about.

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

It is in the intention and approach, isn't it? I hadn't thought about it that way- those moments jus.. read more
The most adorable moments two people can ever have... As I know the relationship between you and your husband, I can feel every single thought you have said here... In this modern world where people are so busy with online talking and chatting, we almost forgot that the best moments of our life are the ones which we spend with our loved ones being there with them in person...

Such a beautiful way to express the feelings of spending those precious ten minutes with your soul mate... You brought so much innocence into this dear frnd... I pray that you both stay together many more years here and also forever in heaven... God bless you frnd...

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Your reviews are so filled with gentle kindness and confirmation, they are a gift to my heart. Thank.. read more
stunning.
like the eyes that made these words start rolling.
it really is precious- and i love it.


Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Thank you my friend. Those moments are precious and keep me going when life spins away too fast or I.. read more

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11 Reviews
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Shelved in 1 Library
Added on August 11, 2016
Last Updated on September 19, 2016
Tags: Love

Author

Marianne Rose
Marianne Rose

Santa Rosa, CA



About
Working at a Community College as an Employment Advisor and Program Developer is inspiring, hopeful work. New dreams of futures born out of loss and confusion stimulate the writer in me. I've been a p.. more..

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