Poet's Surrender

Poet's Surrender

A Poem by Marianne Rose
"

A story has taken my pen, and stopped the poetry from flowing.

"
The poet's voice, now cracked and hoarse,
plucks not the words from smoky air-
she twists the rhyme with waning force,
calls forth the thunder from her lair.
But nature answers not her plea;
she fights the voice, but cannot flee.

Her eyes see beauty in the tale
that haunts her nights and steals her pen.
It drains this art and makes it frail,
seeds carried off by quail and wren.
The story-muse commands her mind,
and words stream on from out of time.
The poet-muse she cannot find
to blend this tale in form and rhyme.

High in the air, her muses fight
with gleaming swords that slash in space;
She watches through each restless night,
each day the victor she must face.

The story spins a web below-
within it she can only write
a storyline unearthed so slow,
its ending is far out of sight.
A web so dense she cannot move,
it chokes the breath around her art.
Her music makes a countermove,
but dies so swift, it breaks her heart.

The characters now breathe and live-
they freeze in place when she is gone.
Her mortal life they will outlive,
move on to yet another pawn.
If she cannot with patience tell
what they have come to bid her say,
her pen will dry, a great write felled
by yet another deafened prey.

And so consumed by unseen being
that follows her to work and back,
she writes on scraps, her words unseen,
not thinking what each line may lack.
For formless comes this story-muse,
and formless will her tale be spun.
With blazing sun, she lights the fuse
that signals she has surely won.

No earthly power can silence speech
from subtle realms we cannot reach.
No end in sight,
the poet sighs,
with empty hand,
gives up her stand.

© 2017 Marianne Rose



Author's Note

Marianne Rose
I do love the story that has taken over my life- a novel or novella that writes itself while I watch to see what happens next. But I miss the poetry, which provides closure quickly. How do novelists sustain through so many pages? I hope the story will give me breaks from its telling that I may write a poem here or there to post!

My Review

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Featured Review

An amazingly beautiful poem, full of power yet delicacy, meter marvellous.. and phrases i pray for! Am fascinated.. or enchanted by the way you lay your sentences, part traditional but also immensely free spirited - natural for today's understanding .. .. ' The story-muse commands her mind, - and words stream on from out of time. - The poet-muse she cannot find - to blend this tale in form and rhyme..

This is musical, could sway to its lyrics, ' For formless comes this story-muse, - And formless will her tale be spun. - With blazing sun, she lights the fuse - that signals she has surely won. '

Re.reading, i feel you FEEL words and roll their sounds around your mouth, checking they have that certain something! If there's a pick n mix' somewhere that sells them.. please, please, let me know.

Wonderful tale of trying to reach the heights you want, a successful search for the Golden Fleece, for sure!

May i add a far too long PS, please. when first stepped over the cafe's threshold, was doing so as a prose player - (dare i say 'author' - it's such a grand word)! However, being honest - few people had time or interest in reading EITHER my useless writing or, they preferred to read work starting with V. for verse'!. I couldn't and still can't write traditional metered verse, tho do try as a discipline. Which is why i write Prose poetry and juggle shape, sound and more - much to many's disgust! WHICH is why admirethe thought, care and skill in your writing.

Another postscript, methinks the writer who proclaims, 'NO, NO - not wanting praise or whatever, I only write for myself." Latest awkward question, in that case, why publish on a writing site!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Wow, dear friend, such a wonderful review filled with your emotional reactions as well as your enthu.. read more



Reviews

This was so good!

she fights the voice, but cannot flee.

Her eyes see beauty in the tale
that haunts her nights and steals her pen.

The story spins a web below-
within it she can only write
a storyline unearthed so slow,
its ending is far out of sight.
A web so dense she cannot move,
it chokes the breath around her art.
Her music makes a countermove,
but dies so swift, it breaks her heart.

The characters now breathe and live-
they freeze in place when she is gone.
Her mortal life they will outlive,
move on to yet another pawn.
If she cannot with patience tell
what they have come to bid her say,
her pen will dry, a great write felled
by yet another deafened prey.

These were my favorite parts. I'm embarrassed to say how many times I read this ha. It's inspiring and I will definitely implement this concept into future work.

Posted 10 Months Ago


Loved the details and feeling expressed throughout this poem. Held me throughout. Tyfs!

Posted 1 Year Ago


A truly lovely poem that passes all the acid tests: the words flow through the mind like a spring-swollen stream; it is highly imaginative; and it's one of those poems one wants to read again and again. (And please forgive a minor point. but used as a possessive, 'it's ending' should have been 'its ending'. I have to proofread several times to catch stuff like that in my own work.)

Posted 1 Year Ago


You write very differently than me. But it's really good. Can you review my stuff?

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Yes- thanks for your review- a book really has grabbed hold of my pen, so I'll read and review as my.. read more
I had the opposite problem that you have now: I stopped writting short stories altogether and put all my focus on poetry. Unlike you, however, I don't miss writing short stories because I prefer writing poetry, so it was a happy transition for me.

I understand why not being able to write poetry may be a bad experience for you, so here's something that I do almost daily that may help with your "poetry block": When I wake up in the morning, I read a poem and devote a sentence or two (or eight) to analyze its imagery, tone, message, and/or whatever other aspect I find interesting about the piece. I usually alternate between rhyming poetry and free verse.

Sometimes, if I have no schoolwork or test(s) to study for, I'll pick a random object and write a free-verse poem of about five to six lines long about that object. Those poems are usually not very good, but they do get the poetic side my mind flowing. When writing poems like this, don't overwhelm yourself. Keep the poem short (unless your poetic heart decides not to).

As for this poem itself, I enjoyed it. I think the first stanza especially describes writer's block very well. The rhyme was unique too. Your use of enjambment gave this poem a somewhat "dissonant" feeling; the rhymes felt scattered and unexpectable (which is a good thing in this case). This poem's effect reminded me of two other pieces: "Dreams" by Edgar Allan Poe (not to be confused with "Dreamland," "A Dream Within a Dream," and "A Dream" written by the same author) and "Boy at the Window" by Richard Wilbur.

Thanks for sharing this piece.

- William Liston

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Thanks William for your tips and review- the story is so prevalent now, it wakes me up to write anot.. read more
An amazingly beautiful poem, full of power yet delicacy, meter marvellous.. and phrases i pray for! Am fascinated.. or enchanted by the way you lay your sentences, part traditional but also immensely free spirited - natural for today's understanding .. .. ' The story-muse commands her mind, - and words stream on from out of time. - The poet-muse she cannot find - to blend this tale in form and rhyme..

This is musical, could sway to its lyrics, ' For formless comes this story-muse, - And formless will her tale be spun. - With blazing sun, she lights the fuse - that signals she has surely won. '

Re.reading, i feel you FEEL words and roll their sounds around your mouth, checking they have that certain something! If there's a pick n mix' somewhere that sells them.. please, please, let me know.

Wonderful tale of trying to reach the heights you want, a successful search for the Golden Fleece, for sure!

May i add a far too long PS, please. when first stepped over the cafe's threshold, was doing so as a prose player - (dare i say 'author' - it's such a grand word)! However, being honest - few people had time or interest in reading EITHER my useless writing or, they preferred to read work starting with V. for verse'!. I couldn't and still can't write traditional metered verse, tho do try as a discipline. Which is why i write Prose poetry and juggle shape, sound and more - much to many's disgust! WHICH is why admirethe thought, care and skill in your writing.

Another postscript, methinks the writer who proclaims, 'NO, NO - not wanting praise or whatever, I only write for myself." Latest awkward question, in that case, why publish on a writing site!

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Wow, dear friend, such a wonderful review filled with your emotional reactions as well as your enthu.. read more
i never could sustain writing or attention span to write a novel...started four of them...

never finished...yes, poems have closure...i really like this poem...feels like i have felt a lot lately, that my words are losing force..

yours are definitely not...you have written a poem that many of us who are getting older, can relate to...

but in a way the words still write themselves when poetry is in our blood.

i like this journey...

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

I started three myself, when I was in my 30's, and my husband painted as I wrote. One had promise, b.. read more
This really speaks to me more as I know the back story of this poem... 6 months ago when I was pretty new to writing, I didn't know how to write poetry or story, I would write some rhyming couplets and post them here with a name, but then I felt I should not write because they are nowhere near good... But then an inspiration, a muse which forced and kind of shook me to write whatever I had in my mind and I'm glad I wrote those things that my heart said, because if I had not, I would have gone away from this site...

Sometimes life wants us to write something, it wants us to write something that our conscious mind hardly realize the value but our unconscious mind knows it's preciousness... We find a powerful force inside us that puts us in front of a diary and make us write from our heart's mind... I think this is what happening with you, life's forces are making you passionate about writing the story that you have in your hidden corner of mind... Even though it might make your poetic self sleep for a bit but it will be worth it, and you can always write poetry with your heart whenever you feel like...

A very gentle and peaceful write that is filled with a story of poet who is deeply passionate about writing a book or story that has been roaming with her every day and night...

Sincerely
Dhiman

Posted 1 Year Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Marianne Rose

1 Year Ago

Your insight and sensitivity to the writing process amazes me! Your encouragement helps me to keep s.. read more

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Added on September 3, 2016
Last Updated on January 26, 2017
Tags: Story, writing, poetry, muse, battle, surrender

Author

Marianne Rose
Marianne Rose

Santa Rosa, CA



About
Working at a Community College as an Employment Advisor and Program Developer is inspiring, hopeful work. New dreams of futures born out of loss and confusion stimulate the writer in me. I've been a p.. more..

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