Tyler was my best
friend throughout middle and high school. I needed him, and he needed me. It
wasn't always easy being his friend though. Let's just say he had issues. His
home life wasn't the best. He got knocked around by his alcoholic father, who
didn't even see that he was doing anything wrong. Tyler's mother, well, gosh
that's a sad story. I guess that's what you're wanting, right? A sad story to
make you cry? Well, this here is a double whammy. In his words, this was the
life of his mother:
"She was a beautiful woman with gorgeous
green eyes and light brown, wavy hair. It was awful, what happened to her. Just
awful. I don't blame her for hating me. I don't blame her for running away. I
just wish she would have stayed a little longer to see how I turned out.
She was 15. Only 15 when she got pregnant with
me. She wasn't a freaking s**t, okay? She was raped. B*****d. How can someone
do that to another human being? An innocent beautiful girl! How does that
happen? I hate him. Whoever did that to her I hate him so much. You don't
understand how much I loathe this man. I'm not going to explain it, though. I
don't have the time. Her parents wanted her to get an abortion. They wanted to
kill me. She refused. Thankfully, her parents were good enough people to accept
that decision and live with it and nine months later, I was born. All went well
as far as I know. My mother turned 16 a few days after that.
Fast forward four years into the future. My mom
found a great man who loved her with all his heart and loved me the same way.
He was amazing. That is, until she ran away. I was nine. All the money we had
was spent trying to find her. For two and a half years we were constantly
watching for her and asking people if they had happened to see her or have any
idea of where she was. No one claimed to know anything. My dad got so awful in
those years. He began to drink. And when I say drink, I mean the heavy stuff.
He'd get drunk on vodka almost every day and that's when he got angry. When my
father was angry, he was a different man entirely. He would hurt me. Not just
physically. No. Though that would have been better than the ideas that he made
me believe. It is because of his verbal abuse that I learned my mother was
raped. It is because of his harassment that I came to know that my mother hated
me, as I had been a constant reminder of what happened to her. It was my fault
and she left us, therefore it was my fault that my father began to drink. It
was my fault he hit me. It was my fault he told me all of the ugly truths.
Heck, I deserved it all. I really did. But just because I deserved it, that
didn't make it fun or enjoyable or even tolerable."
That is what Tyler said about his mother. He
sent that to me in a text message on January 18, 2015. We were seniors, coming
closer and closer to graduation every day. Tyler anxiously awaited the arrival
of his 18th birthday so that he could leave home and get away from his angry
father. Tomorrow is his birthday. June 10th. His dear 18th birthday but he
isn't here to celebrate it. I still bought the cake. I promised him a big cake.
Red velvet, of course. He never did appreciate chocolate all that much. He knew
how much I loved it, though, so on my birthday and on Christmas and Valentine’s
Day he would always get me one of the cute heart shaped boxes of chocolate.
I'm sorry. I thought this would be easier. I can
hardly see the screen. I'll have to proofread this later. Stop crying, Rachel!
Stop crying. I’m okay, I swear.
Tyler was my best friend and I was his. Tyler
was also the love of my life. And I was his.
"I'm sorry, Rachel, for any pain I have
caused you. Please, I know you'll find someone else and you will be happy with
them. Just allow it to happen. Don't close your heart to other men. I love you,
and I will always love you, but you must know that I just can't live like this
anymore. My father gets worse and worse every day. You don't understand what
it's like. You don't get it. I always thought she would come back for me. No.
She is dead. Never coming back. There was a letter in the mail. She had left a
will. She wanted us to have everything she owned. Yeah, thanks mom. Because
material possessions are the answer to everything.
Rachel, you mean everything to me, and if I
hadn't met you, I'm sure I would have done this quite some time ago so thank
you. Thank you for saving me. I know it may feel to you like you have failed
me, but you haven't. You are amazing. Don't ever forget that. Graduate high
school, go to college, meet a nice man, fall in love, get married, settle down
and have kids just like you've always dreamed of. Good luck. Good bye for now.
Catch you on the flip side."
A gunshot to the head. That's how he went. There
was a hole in the side of his skull. Why? You were so close, Tyler. Why now?
Tomorrow is his birthday. I will cut two pieces
of cake. One for me, and one for him. I will eat mine but leave his. I will
then go up to my room and remove the gun from my dresser drawer. I will hold it
in my left hand. Tyler was lefthanded. I have to do it just like he did. I'll
put it up to my head. The left side. And then, I will pull the trigger. There
will be a small clicking sound but no bullet will exit the chamber. I will put
the gun down and begin to cry. I will cry because I miss him. I will cry
because I feel alone. But more than anything, I will cry out of joy. He made me
so happy and I will never forget that. I will never forget Tyler.
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