The PauseA Story by Olivia Danso
A moment in relating, or not relating as the case may be
She switched off then. He spoke and she switched off. He croaked and she switched off. He could choke and she would switch off. Working was not what they had been doing. She watched him, dazed, confused and altogether misused by her. She should feel guilty, but she didn’t, she felt tired. Tired of his mired existence and his desperate, angry pulls at her very soul, sucking every bit of life she had out of her; through her words of comfort, hugs of consolation and lies of regret. She nodded in slow motion, pausing at each scheduled time, as he lamented her with his own words of woe and looked to her, slow now, no desperation but a final plea; please, see me. Can you see me?
She turned away, disgusted with herself because she could not see him. She could only see herself, reflected in his empty eyes that only saw her, a reflection she despised. It’s time. Her eyes spoke the words her mouth could not utter, and there was a flutter. Just for a moment, every utterance of pure sweet love that had been pelted at her melted, warmth washed over her, glossed over for a second. Not even a minute or two to be measured, but just for one second she loved him truly, wholly and without remorse. Of course she thought, my lonesome heart knows that this is how it always goes, and this is how I always go. Goodbye was hard, a good life was harder.
© 2012 Olivia Danso