Concience

A cry of pain for relief from love.

But I freeze for a moment
And paranoia takes over
What if I'm wrong
What if I'm not justified
I loved you didn't I
What if I still care
Maybe I miss you
But f**k, I need to let go
So I'll try again, to hate you away
I've got to end this day
My concience won't let me sleep
It lays inside my prison heart and bleeds
It knocks on iron bars
And tries to deny my scars
It screams your name, our love, our days
But dead memories is all you are
Burdened by plagues, burried so far
Yet the sound is stalking
The images still haunting
Doubt consumes as I weaken again
I feel my hate threatened and breaking
Maybe I miss you
I loved you, blindly did
You said you loved
You said you cared
I held out my hand and you f*****g stared
You're through with me, throw me away
Resent my heaven, you were born to betray
Well who told you I wasn't sick and tired
You gave me s**t but I aspired
You were so weak I held you up
And loved you beyond any desire
All because I cared
Now I hurt because I cared
Didn't take too long for me to realize
You had always meant to traumatize
As if it all wasn't enough
To leave me to rot, to endure your sloth
Now I have to picture you with him
Suffer the nightmares and the rhythem
Of your voice and his, all the words said
Forgive me if I wish you both dead
Not leaving out the fact, he was my best friend
I weaken at the thought of your deceptions
Such obscene indescretions
You're as low as you can get
When your proud wretched self won't even regret
Thoughts now devour my mind
And my chemistry starts to unwind
Pain invades every corner of my heart
Everything I cherich was ripped apart
Inconceivable disaster, can't help but obsess
Nausea anxiety hysteria distress
Stronger they grow, and faster I fall
No breath for even a muted call
No one to care, to miss me and wonder
No one around to watch me plunder
I grow so unstable, with a raging mind
I hurt and ache as my wounds open wide
That's when hate reaches climax
When I stop to defend you
My concience cracks
I feel you burn deep inside
I will not abide
You will not reside
Screams start to come out
I kick I punch I shout
I cast you out, I spit you out
This will be the last time you f**k me over
I will go sober
Your addiction will fade but hate will remain
For I will never forget all the scortching pain
You did this to me
You made me do this
Although I will remember your smile
And those words of love for a while
Despite the memories intombed underground
I feel their ghost linger around
Although my concience will rise again
No matter where or when
Hate will light my eyes
And I'll look inside to see its cries
I'll burn it down, I'll burn you down
Again, the memories drown
Again, you turn to ash
Again, my insides crash
Maybe a tear will lurk in my eye
But unforgiven, I watch you die
Again.. Forgive me bleeding concience
I'm a bit far from innocence

Author's Note

Thanks for the reviews. I hope you get the full story.