New Love

A girl that was so in love with a boy. A boy that gave her so much. And lovers who knew how to love one another

I laid there with fear

And with tears falling down

You wiped them away from my precious face

And stared into my hazel eyes as they glistened from the tears

I watched you curiously

It was like you had never seen anything so beautiful

I laid there right beside him

I could feel his fingers running through my hair

His body was so warm on mine

It comforted my frigid body

This all felt like a dream

I couldn’t believe this was happening

I couldn’t believe he was here with me

I closed my eyes and imagined his lips on mine

I imagined his lips softly touching mine

Starting an un controlled flame

The thought warmed my body

And put a smile on my face

As I reopened my eyes I could see he was looking at me curiously

I just pointed to my lips

He figured out what I was imagining

He moved closer to me

So that his lips were only inches from mine

Then with a blink of an eye he kissed me

It was just what I imagined

Soft and sweet

My body so warm from the flame

I could feel his fingers continue to run through my hair

I could feel his body touching mine

All the fear was gone

And there were no tears falling

This was it

This was the end

Of a beautiful friendship

But a new beginning

To a new relationship

We were in love

But this was a new kind of love

The one that wouldn’t be lost

Nor forgotten

But one that would go on forever

Author's Note

it might need some work... this one took me a long time

Reviews

[*molly]

screw needed some work, i really like it lady... =]] ♥

I like this. lucky guy you got...:)

[Jess.]

I really like the changes you made!

"And stared into my hazel eyes as they glistened from the tears
I watched you as you stared into my eyes"
A little awkward there yet with "stared" being used twice so close together, but it's nothing big.
This piece is lovely, and I like it alot....makes me hope that I find that right guy soon so I can experience the love that is in this =)

[Star Shyne]

i think someone is falling in love~ your love poems are all written with such great happiness and emotion. Fantastic write. Well done~

[deeps]

I think this is one amazing write, Your emotions flow well,
I can tell you put time into this write

[Jess.]

I agree with Wolfe Greytome....there are a few awkward spots, but overall good piece.

[Wolfe Greytome]

I agree that it needs work. It is a good solid base, but at times the flow feels heavy and awkward. You also have a few typos to fix. Overall, i say that you will do very well with this piece when you have it completed to your satisfaction.