Your reflection on the computer screen.

Your reflection on the computer screen.

A Poem by Matilda
"

My hopeless one-sided love.

"

Why can't I forget you? After all this time I still remember everything. I hate you and I love you. In that order. You made me laugh like no one else could. Everybody stared at us for laughing so hard and I think we just laughed harder. We were best friends, for sure.


 Sometimes I took a glance at your reflection on the computer screen. I knew right away you were thinking about her. You were always thinking about her and it broke my silly heart. I still haven't found the missing pieces. I know you are still together with her but when we were in the back of the classroom with computers near our faces, I swore you were mine and only mine; people who saw us together used to say we would end up together somehow. 


I know you will continue to be with her forever and someday you both will have a perfect family with perfect kids with perfect smiles and perfect values. I know I could never give you something like that; something so perfect and simple. I can't be (and will never be) the type of woman who stays at home and waits patiently for you. Right now, she is studying how to be the perfect wife with a perfect home while I'm in college studying like crazy so I can have some self-respect and that someday I can be proud of my own achievements and not someone else's.


 I won’t forget how much I loved your brown hair and how much I loved your tired eyes. I love how we used to eat snacks even though the teacher always screamed at us because of it. I love how you tried to make me happy even when I was mad or sad. I loved that you laughed the hardest when you were talking to me. I hate that, right now, we live in opposite sides of the world but at the same time I’m thankful I don’t have to see your face every day. You made me suffer so much and I think you’ll never know that, which makes it even more pathetic. 


I still remember how I used to walk out of that classroom with a full smile on my face but when I got home I cried like a little child because I knew you would never love me. Maybe I’ll regret writing this, but: I don’t want to see you again; not even by chance, not even because of a cruel coincidence.  Please, stay away from me. Please, don’t make me suffer more. Please, I want to forget your reflection on that computer screen; but I know I won’t. I’ll always remember. Always. For now, this is my goodbye. 


© 2014 Matilda



Author's Note

Matilda
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Reviews

Ah, the gods of love look down on us, and they can't stop laughing at all those Magnets who have enough power to attract Iron, but not enough power to bring it to them. To exert a force forever without it ever moving anything is such comical torment. This is somewhat like the punishment that Zeus applied to Prometheus for teaching man how to make fire. Release the force to find tranquility. Send the Iron to infinity.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

That was beautiful ! Thanks for the review
Wow. I have experienced something very similar to this. A deep write with some humor. The complicated feelings are something we all have probably felt. Great work! (:

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

I seriously love your reviews ! Thanks for reading my work that's really nice :) !! And yes, I guess.. read more
I know this feeling well...when you get a chance read a piece I wrote titled Feel My Pain...
You will see what I mean.
I like this....

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

Will do ! Thanks :)
This is deep, and funny, and complicated ... and I love it. Hasn't everyone had one of these lopsided love affairs -- unrequited love, bordering on unhealthy obsession, modified only by the thinnest band of common sense?
Only one thing I need to point out -- you made me suffer, not suffered --
an excellent write.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

Yes, I do think it happens quite often, sadly. Also, thanks for the review! Always great getting fee.. read more
is this fiction or nonfiction...
its similar to my own personal diary..

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

it's nonfiction, indeed.
Your visual and imagery are stunning. Keep up the excellent work and I look forward to reading more from you.

Thanks for sharing!

Rob

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reading it and for your review!

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6 Reviews
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Added on April 10, 2014
Last Updated on April 12, 2014
Tags: high school, love, teen, school, story, drama, experience


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