Wicked smile

Wicked smile

A Story by Matilda
"

Dreams.

"

You will never believe me. The river dragged me in, pulling my hair and filling my nose. My socks got wet but my school uniform remained as dry as a raisin. It was a galaxy I wasn't supposed to be in. Those feelings were glued cruelly to my body no matter how hard I tried to push them away. They fought and maybe, just maybe, they won. Then, as I died, a big and violent hand pulled me out and I was grateful. As I wandered into the woods, I blinked quickly when I saw a man, with his eyes closed, tied down with ropes on a tree of a color I've never seen before. Was it red? Was it purple? The sound of violins in the air became stronger and I couldn't help but feel nostalgic. A centimeter of sadness, an inch of pain. I got closer to you and untied you; your eyes suddenly opened as you fell down. Red eyes and a wicked smile. As my thoughts kept analyzing your features, you said “brown eyes and no smile at all”. I wanted to say something but the river suddenly showed up. It said “run, child, run”. I didn't want to leave you alone because even though you seemed taller and stronger, there was a certain weakness in you that I didn't knew how to describe. What kind of world was I in? A world that rivers walked and all types of flowers grew in winter. That wasn't home, I knew that for sure. I always admired people that believed in things they couldn't see or touch; like friendship, like love. Yet, I couldn't believe in something that was clearly and physically in front of me. You saw me frightened but instead of protecting me you laughed. You laughed with no happiness in your eyes. “Stop being scared and you’ll stop being in danger”. I tightly closed my eyes and to my surprise I found some courage in me. When I opened them, the river was frozen but so was my heart. You got close to me and showed me the warmest smile I've ever seen. You said “we will meet again” as you pushed me to the ground. As I was falling down I opened my eyes again and even though I was sweating, I felt a familiar feeling. The softness of the pillow I spent my time with every night welcomed me with happiness. Eight years have passed and even though I haven’t met you again, I’m sure we will in the future, somehow. I wake up every day forgetting my dreams as quickly as everyone does. Yet, I can perfectly describe this dream that happened a long time ago. Back then, I wrote down everything I saw. The color of the trees, the shape of the ground. I want to return to that world but what if I can’t come back? 


© 2014 Matilda



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Reviews

original way to describe someone facing their own fears. great idea indeed. and you pulled it off magestically. I also like the final question..
I enjoyed the read.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Crazy intensity! Loved your imagery and your flow! I'd really like to see you expand on this!

~Stefanie

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

that is so nice ! thanks :)
The imagery and story is impressive and amazing. You had me hooked. Totally added to my library.

Great job!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

That's awesome , thanks :) !!!
This was a very intense read! I thoroughly enjoyed it and the imagery you provided. You definitely kicked up my adrenaline then gave me a soft landing with the pillow towards the end. I would love to see where you take this! Great work! xo (:

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

So glad you liked it thanks !!!
This is a very nice intro to something bigger --- one question, did you mean wandered into the woods? Wondered kind of works, so I wasn't sure.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

Oh gosh ! Totally meant wandered ! Thanks for noticing my stupid typos haha
Lyn Anderson

3 Years Ago

Not stupid, that is why we can't rely on the computer to fix things. A human editor is better than a.. read more
Matilda

3 Years Ago

You are totally right. The problem is I never double check haha
Wow! I am very glad I read this. It is exquisite. I love how you wrote this in a way to show someone facing their fears without being completely literal or straight-forward about it. I can't think of anything critical or negative to say about this at all. It is simply amazing. ^-^

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

Such kind words ! I'm very happy you liked it, thanks for reviewing, you are awesome :)
This is intense! You build suspense and drama right from the start as a surreal or alternative reality unfolds. Your characters are apparitions that have lessons to teach "Stop being scared and you’ll stop being in danger". For me, it reads like it's all about facing your fears, meeting your demons and being the victor. I like the ending, as it offers credibility to it and leaves some unanswered questions. Well done ! Penny

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

You describe it so well ! I'm glad you understood everything I was trying to convey. And yes, every .. read more
My goodness this is exquisite! My favourite line is 'It was a galaxy I wasn't suppose to be in.' Now let me see If I got the meaning right. This little girl almost dies and makes it into a sort of afterlife. But then she awakes, still alive. Thus the creature's words 'we will meet again.'

Now for some constructive critisism! I believe this creature requires further definition. I wasn't sure what sort of form it was. I want to see this creature! You have an amazing ability to paint pictures with your words. I would like for you to paint this creature.

That is all I can think to tell you right now. Keep painting! :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

You are so right. As you said, I was trying to say that rather than literally "meeting again" with t.. read more

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8 Reviews
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Shelved in 2 Libraries
Added on April 15, 2014
Last Updated on April 20, 2014
Tags: dreams, mystery, horror, story, suspense

Author

Matilda
Matilda

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21. College student. more..

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