Little pieces of my journal (part 1)

Little pieces of my journal (part 1)

A Poem by Matilda
"

Posting random paragraphs of my journal.

"
June 20, 2011. 

I think I'm the biggest idiot because I willingly choose to think of him even though I know it hurts. I'm a masochist and it's sad that I can admit something like that. I do not cut my wrists, I do not starve myself to death, but I choose to think of him. When my parents start talking non stop about how they are worried about me because I "seem like I have no emotions" and complaining that I go to "a lot of parties" I just tell them: "what I'm going through is a socially acceptable rebellion" ... or answer with whatever I think is a smart comment that will make them laugh. It usually doesn't work, though. So I'm here, in my room, putting on some red lipstick because it makes me feel better. Stupid but I recommend it. Seriously, diary, you should try it.  

© 2014 Matilda



Author's Note

Matilda
Very random.

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Reviews

It's tough being young and in love, and when it doesn't work out. Trust me, I've been there when I was 19 and points afterward. It will get easier as get older, not that it won't hurt, but your heart and mentality becomes tougher and able to handle things like this better! :)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Thanks for posting this because it was interesting to read.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Lol .. ok..let's get it straight, this piece really makes me chuckle. You looked so crazy here, no matter crazy about what. You know what? Love defines the values of lives but at the same time, it counts down the way of not to being alive. In this world, the love has totally trashed out the people's mind like making 'em all blind on love, it has made the people totally crazy for about love because love's what which's the only one way keeping the hearts ..the souls and the bodies in touch with happiness, glory and fame. Howsoever, if the love's a way of welcoming happiness, it's a way of welcoming misery..and that's what I find in your this journal. Thank god, this piece's just written a few years, most probably, 3 years back so, hopefully, everything'd be cool over there with you. Hope, you keep your "Diary" secret or in a private hiding from your family!

Stay Blessed!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

You are absolutely right, love is the one thing that can makes us the happiest we've ever been and a.. read more
This comment has been deleted by the poster.
Well, you are most definitely finding your voice and outlet in this poem and it is (I am assuming) an honest piece which is the best of all ways to write…so I am told. Can't wait to read more to see if this has become your style or if you have been writing in this format since you were seven. I loved the structure that you chose…it's very Sandberg and "journal-esk" in its modern passionate flow.
Interesting that you are majoring in Engineering. Makes me wonder if within a few years I might be looking back at this poem and considering the moment that you stopped to write art on your way to changing the world…or universe for that matter. Changing the universe with the solitude of "poetry and lipstick". I may might just have to give that a shot as well. Thanks . I truly enjoyed this ponder~ OH…I am also glad that you chose the poetry in masochism over self mutilation btw.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

This was back when I was sixteen (three years ago) and I like to believe that my writing style, inde.. read more
I could see this in a young adult fiction novel if you ever choose to publish and if you are comfortable with that. This very raw and relate able.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

that is so so sweet. thanks thanks thanks !
a random thought of teenage angst. Yay for posting it.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

"Teenage angst" I love that haha. Thanks for the review, you are awesome!
Yes. You're right. We have choices, sometimes hard to suppress. To face our choices and accept them is massive, I admire that. Interesting comment about "no emotions". I'm like that sometimes. I call it numb. It's a safe place to be when feeling fragile. I like the whole idea of sharing parts of a diary entry ! Well done. Penny

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

Yes, we are all "numb" in some kind of way .. especially when we want to protect ourselves. Thanks f.. read more
I agree with Savannah... very human... and you are not alone in that.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

Thanks !!!
Very human. Very real. Beautiful. Great job!

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

thanks, you are sweet.
Haha, "So I'm here, in my room, putting on some red lipstick because it makes me feel better. Stupid but I recommend it. Seriously, diary, you should try it."
I can definitely relate to this. Write on! (and keep usin' that red lipstick girl)
lissalovesyou:)

Posted 3 Years Ago


Matilda

3 Years Ago

I was 16 back then but I haven't stopped using that lipstick haha! Thanks for an amazing review!
lissalovesyou

3 Years Ago

:) Keep it up!

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Added on May 5, 2014
Last Updated on May 11, 2014
Tags: journal, diary, love, friendship, life, school

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Matilda
Matilda

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