Illustratio

Illustratio

A Poem by Mari Baptiste
"

This was the very first serious piece I wrote.

"
I awoke. 
My eyes---swollen, red, and tired---stared up blankly at the ceiling. 

That was the day.  
The “Day of Judgment,” I had called it. 
What would they tell him? 
What was to become of me? 
What vulgar language of wrath and torment would they use against me? 
What parts of my reckless past, stained pitch black with arrogance and rebellion, would they reveal to him? 
What cruel, profane derisions would they use to degrade me? 

“S**t!” 

“W***e!” 

“Useless!” 

“Stupid!” 

More importantly…how would HE take it? 
How would he begin to comprehend that a person he had so fondly called his beloved was nothing more than a useless, worthless, and insignificant pile of rubble? 
The possibilities terrified me. 


What was he to think of me? 
Would he walk away from me? 
How is he to handle this? 
Would he begin see me as they saw me?  


My heart raced, and my stomach turned. 
The questions lingered in my head, dragging me into further torment. 
I was drowning in my own anxiety. 
But what could I do? 


This was my doing. 
This was my fault. 
This, I must account for. 
For this, I must suffer the consequences. 



I was left without a choice, but to wait another day 
For the final verdict. 
What was to become of me, I did not know. 



I tossed and I turned.  
Fatigued as I was from the sleepless nights, I could not rest. 
It was as if even my own mind had decided to punish me by forbidding me to do so. 
The agony was in the waiting. 


I had gathered all the strength that I had left within me to face him the following day. 
I was ready for the pain.  
I was ready for his rage. 
I was ready for my humiliation. 


All preparations turned out to be in vain. 


The level of understanding he gave me was foreign. 
Not once in the past was such a virtue so lovingly bestowed upon me. 
The kindness and compassion in his eyes as he looked into my soul; as each dark and troubled aspect of my worthless existence was laid down before him, left me in awe. 
All eloquence in my system had, in an instant, abandoned me. 

The fear of judgment and desolation that once swallowed me up during such times of torment as this seemed to dissolve into the formerly grave atmosphere. 

His love, unconditional and never ending, I so frequently thought I did not deserve. 
In that moment, that exhibition of his love and kindness, I was enlightened. 
Awakened in me, was an ardent yearning for self-reform. 
I longed to finally bring my life back to its rightful state; back to how it should be. 

In the dark,  I lived no more,  
And into the Light, I returned at last.

© 2017 Mari Baptiste


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Featured Review

Mari Hi. I can see why you mentioned a teacher's comment about your writing skill, and I would add at telling engaging stories.

I'm not sure how to define 'poem', it doesn't particularly matter. But fyi I read this more as prose than a 'poem'.

What I like about your style, in both works so far, is that I'm engaged but it doesn't seem to be through the use of similes or metaphors or overtly lyrical phrasing, and that's what intrigues me. You have a way of describing, is all I can say, I think.

The 'poem' itself is quite clever as it leaves the reader to decide for themselves who 'he' is. It could be a man or some sort of God-figure whose judgement you fear. With a few tweaks it could even be a child, perhaps being told of an adult's misdemeanours. And what were these heinous sins? Again, you leave it to the reader to imagine. I love making the reader work a bit, so this gets a bravo from me!

BRs Nigel

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mari Baptiste

6 Years Ago

Hello, Nigel! I'm very glad that you found it engaging. I agree with you about it being "more prose .. read more



Reviews

You do a great job here of building up a dreadful anticipation of how this narrator will be received by some "he" that she clearly cares about, someone who's opinion is important to her. The whole time, a reader is wondering who this "he" could be? At times it seems she puts too much emphasis on how "he" will react, rather than being more concerned with her own responses to the situation. But sadly, this is how many people are, worrying about others reactions instead of having a knowingness deep inside to draw from. So, your ending is a superb twist, as we discover all these worries were for naught. This "he" must be an awesome friend or maybe a spiritual entity for her life. In any case, this ending is how I believe God is toward all of us and our unfortunate life foibles! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 6 Years Ago


Mari Baptiste

6 Years Ago

Hello, Margie!

I originally wrote this based off of a situation I had with my darlin.. read more
I hope you will write some poetry books and stories one day dear Mari. You are so talented and wonderful. You made me feel and understand the thoughts in the poetry.
"The level of understanding he gave me was foreign.
Not once in the past was such a virtue so lovingly bestowed upon me.
The kindness and compassion in his eyes as he looked into my soul; as each dark and troubled aspect of my worthless existence was laid down before him, left me in awe.
All eloquence in my system had, in an instant, abandoned me. "
The above lines. So good and honest. True love loved us in our good or bad days. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry. I enjoyed this one.
Coyote


Posted 6 Years Ago


Mari Baptiste

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reviewing my works, Coyote. I’m really glad that you’re enjoying them. �.. read more
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

You are welcome dear Mari. A amazing poem.
I love how you used simple wording to convey your story. I also think the usage of words like "s**t" and "w***e" were excellent choices to depict the meaning behind the characters actions that lead them to this point. There was no over explanation, because you had good word choice. I also loved your last words "and into the light, I returned at last". I thought the use of the word's "returned at last" were powerful, because they hold such a deep meaning and once again there was no over explanation.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Mari Baptiste

6 Years Ago

Thank you, Hannah!

I do prefer writing poems and pieces that are easy for readers to.. read more
Oh Mari, this was wonderful. I was completely captivated. Well done and keep writing

Posted 6 Years Ago


Mari Baptiste

6 Years Ago

Hi, Gwen! I'm glad you enjoyed it. Going through a bit of writers block right now, but thank you for.. read more
Mari Hi. I can see why you mentioned a teacher's comment about your writing skill, and I would add at telling engaging stories.

I'm not sure how to define 'poem', it doesn't particularly matter. But fyi I read this more as prose than a 'poem'.

What I like about your style, in both works so far, is that I'm engaged but it doesn't seem to be through the use of similes or metaphors or overtly lyrical phrasing, and that's what intrigues me. You have a way of describing, is all I can say, I think.

The 'poem' itself is quite clever as it leaves the reader to decide for themselves who 'he' is. It could be a man or some sort of God-figure whose judgement you fear. With a few tweaks it could even be a child, perhaps being told of an adult's misdemeanours. And what were these heinous sins? Again, you leave it to the reader to imagine. I love making the reader work a bit, so this gets a bravo from me!

BRs Nigel

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Mari Baptiste

6 Years Ago

Hello, Nigel! I'm very glad that you found it engaging. I agree with you about it being "more prose .. read more

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Added on August 18, 2017
Last Updated on September 18, 2017
Tags: Drama, Love, Dramatic Dialogue

Author

Mari Baptiste
Mari Baptiste

Manila



About
I discovered my passion for writing a little bit later compared to other writers my age. Most of them start at around 13 or 14. I only started at 17. My teachers told me that I had a knack for writing.. more..

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