The 4th Paladin Chapter 9

Maya arrives in New York and starts her new life.

Chapter 9

"Okay!  Where do I get one?"

 

 

    Instead of pestering Dee with all my questions, the plane's engines lull me to sleep.  I wake to the flight attendant telling me we are landing.  He delivers a warm towel to wipe my face and hands and instructs me to adjust my seat and put my seat belt back on.  I look over at Dee and I'm filled with concern.  She does not look well.  She is huddled with her knees pinned to her chest and is extremely pale.  The flight attendant doesn't bother her with landing procedures, in fact he pretty much avoids looking her way by keeping his eyes downcast as he tidies up the cabin.  That’s strange.

     "Dee, are you okay?  Can I do anything for you?"  She looks like she needs medical attention and that guy is just ignoring her!

    She swivels her head toward me with some difficulty.  "I will be fine soon."  She croaks out of white lips.  "I just have been gone too long."

     My ears are popping, so that means we are starting our descent.  I lean back in my seat, but continue to look at Dee with a worried frown.  She is back to gazing out the window and doesn't speak to me again.  Every now and then she jolts and bites down on her lip.  I can tell she's racked with pain but refuses to make a sound.  It's hard to watch.  I'm afraid for her and ashamed to admit a little scared for myself.  I don't have a high tolerance for pain.  Seeing a needle makes me queasy.  If this is what being apart from each other is going to be like, I sure hope we get along, because I don't plan on going anywhere alone.

     Looking out the window I see the sun is low in the sky.  With the long flight and the three hour time difference, I am guessing it is past 6:00 pm.  I have flown into JFK before, but looking at the much smaller airport we are headed to, I assume we are somewhere else.  I hope that wherever we are Dee will get better quickly.  We hit some turbulence, and I hear her moan very softly as we bump about in our seats.  I wonder if she is telling me the truth, or if something truly bad is happening to her.  I haven't known her long enough to say I care for her, but I do care that she’s suffering.  I start to ask again if there's anything I can do, but I don't think she can hear me.  Her eyes are screwed up tight and she is breathing rapidly.

     It feels like an eternity, but the plane finally touches down and brakes to a stop.  With a speed I did not think her capable of possessing, Dee is up and waiting at the door for it to be opened.  Much more slowly I unbuckle my seat belt and put my purse over my shoulder.  When I look up, the door is open and Dee is nowhere in sight.  I walk to the door and see a ladder is ready for me to step down onto the runway.  There is a black stretch limousine parked close by with a man who is an obvious chauffer standing by it.  Did Dee just ditch me?

     I stop at the top of the stairs not sure where to go.  Then I see them standing closer to the tail of the plane.  Dee is being embraced by an incredibly hot guy.  He is a tall blond with a well sculpted body and beautifully chiseled features.  Yep, I definitely believe in angels! Wow.  

     As I walk down the stairs I notice Dee looks amazing.  When I first saw her at the party she was stunning, but that memory pales to how vibrant and radiant she looks now.  She hadn't lied on the plane, she was definitely more than fine now.  Hesitant about where I should go, I slowly approach the couple.  I must be intruding, but no one else is directing me, and Dee is the only person I know.  I stop a few feet away to give them a little privacy but close enough that I can hear them.  He steps the hug up a notch and is nuzzling her neck, his hands travel down to the small of her back and he draws her in even closer.  Oh my!  Should I clear my throat or turn around?                     

     Dee pulls back a little and speaks to him.  I can hear my name.  He replies in a rapid firing of words in a language I can not place.  It sounds like French but I know it isn't, having taken it for three years.  His voice has the same lyrical quality that Dee's has.  Even not understanding him, I would be happy to listen to him talk for days.  He doesn't remove his face from Dee's neck when he speaks, nor does he even glance at me, although I'm sure he knows I'm standing here.  I'm not offended though, I have an instinct that he cannot help himself.  It was like experiencing gravity, he can't move away from Dee.  He has eyes only for her.  His words are spoken into her skin and every breath he takes must be filled with her.  It's incredibly intimate, and even though I should, I find I can’t look away.

     Strangely Dee doesn't look as affected as I would be in her place.  She doesn't look displeased by his attentions, but she doesn't return them as passionately.  She seems calm and patient as if she knows this is what he needs and is just waiting for him.  Although she certainly flew out of that plane door and into his arms in a flash, so who am I to judge the depth of her emotions?

     The embracing goes on for a few minutes more.  The co-pilot hands my bags over to the man by the car and he puts them into the trunk.  It’s then I decide I could probably wait in the car.  I'm definitely getting embarrassed standing so close to them just watching.  It's just that seeing them brings up all sorts of questions and ideas about this life that I never had before.  I had thought it would be all fighting and strategizing, I never thought what my relationship would be like.  Will I be having a relationship? 

     I head for the car assuming since my bags are in it, it will be going where I should be going.  The chauffer opens the door for me as I approach.  "Miss," he smiles kindly as he tips his hat to me.  He's a young guy, probably still in his twenties, with dark hair and even darker eyes.  He is just on the verge of handsome, but then again I just saw the epitome of male perfection, so I might not be judging him fairly. 

     "Should I get in?"  I ask.

     "Yeah," his smile grows wider.  "They might take a bit.  Mr. Miller was very anxious to see his wife."

     Wow, wife?  So they are married?  Or is it just a false identity?  I sit in the back of the very spacious car.  I've never been in the back of a limo.  Going to prom with my cousin wasn't a good enough reason to spring for one.  I move to a side seat away from the door so they will not have to climb over me when they finally decide to get in.  I have a big window in front of me and a perfect view to observe Dee.  He's kissing her now.  Not on the lips, but short soft kisses on her temple, forehead, eyelids, nose, jaw, neck, and earlobes.  He stops to rest his forehead against hers and they just stare into each others eyes.        

     My stomach is doing summersaults and I’m glad I skipped lunch during the flight.  My parents are very affectionate, but their relationship never felt this intense.  Is this what it will be like?  I think about the rules I've lived by my entire life and wonder if I will need to continue to do so once the bonding has taken place.  Watching Dee with her "other half" as she calls him made me think that if they're like this in public they must be intimate in private.  Maybe I would not be dying a virgin after all?   The enormity of that thought has me suddenly anxious to meet this bringer of light I will be helping cross over and binding the rest of my life to.  I shake my head and roll my eyes.  How quickly my libido changes my mind's direction from incredible worry over a life of pain and scary death to wondering if I would have a gloriously hot guy holding me close and looking at me like I was the only light on the planet.

     My little revere is shattered when the door opens and Dee and the Adonis slide into the car.  Dee smiles at me apologetically but Mr. Miller, upon closer inspection, looks a bit put out.  Does he not approve of me?

     As soon as their door closes the car starts moving.  We drive past a large sign that reads MacArthur Airport.  I think that puts us in Long Island.

     "Sorry about that.  I didn't mean to leave you floundering out there.  We just needed a bit of time together to feel more like ourselves.  The pain of separation is unfortunately pretty excruciating."  Dee grimaces as she speaks.

     "If you had not pushed it and taken so long. . . " Mr. Miller releases a long shaky breath, clearly angry.  I see this is what he's upset about.  "You should have returned sooner."  I'm surprised he sounds so American now that he is speaking English.

     Dee's jaw takes on a stubborn angle.  "I told you I didn't do it on purpose.  There were issues and things I needed to confirm.  Everything is going to be fine."

     He doesn't seam ready to let it drop.  "You kept telling me any day now you would be back.  That was over a week and a half ago.  I could have flown out to you.  You always have to stretch it."  His words might be angry but I can’t help but notice how tenderly he holds her hand against his lap, or how softly he strokes her hair.  His whole body is angled around Dee.

     Dee closes her eyes like my mother does when she is trying to be patient but wants to scream.  "I know.  I'm sorry."

     I felt almost as uncomfortable watching them fight as I did watching them embrace.  I push past my normal shyness hoping to make this car ride less awkward.  "Hello Mr. Miller," I hold out my hand and plaster a smile on my face.  "My name is Maya."

     My interference has the desired affect. It shakes him out of his sullenness and reminds him they are not alone.  "How incredibly rude of me Maya," He looks at me now for the first time and my breath catches. I had always thought my family had beautiful blue eyes but his were such a deep saturation of vibrant blue that looking at him was hypnotic.  "You don't have to call me Mr. Miller.  You can call me Sam."  He releases Dee's hand and holds his out for me to shake.  His grip is warm and firm and the smile he presents me is dazzling.

    "Hi I'm Maya."  I repeat stupidly and then wince.  "So where are we headed?"  I follow up by quickly taking my eyes away from his and peering out the window.

     Dee answers.  "We have a training facility in Manhattan.  We will spend a few days there getting you ready before we head over to Europe.  The next gateway is there."

     I sneak a sideways glance at them.  Sam is back to staring at Dee, stroking his fingers through her hair.  I offer no follow up questions, so Dee closes her eyes and rests her head on his shoulder.  I covertly watch them as the miles slip by.  I wonder about spending time training and how slow these next few days will feel like.  Now that I am here and committing to this, the waiting and wondering is going to destroy me.  

 

 

 

     I have a lovely room.  I am in a beautiful penthouse on 5th Avenue directly across from Central Park.  I can see people out enjoying a crisp spring morning.  I had heard rain was on the way, but right now the sun is shining and people are out enjoying the park.  I see joggers, mom's strolling their babies, a couple enjoying coffee holding hands as they walk, and a few kids riding bikes.  It's a view that inspires you to put on your jacket and rush outside, but Dee told me in no uncertain terms that I was not to leave my lovely room today. 

     As soon as we entered the building last night, a worried group of men approached her and Sam.  They whispered most of the conversation, but I was able to catch a few words.  I heard them mention demons, I knew one said 'they know we found her', and I believe they also made reference to a part of the city not too far from here.  Dee had not looked pleased at anything said.

     She deposited me in this room, ordered me dinner, had my things brought up, and told me she was leaving and I was to 'stay where you are till I get back.  It's not safe for you outside.'  I wanted to ask a million questions, but she ran off with Sam in such a hurry, and I have not seen them since. 

     Waking up in this room I hope to talk with her.  Instead, a servant brings me my breakfast on a tray and leaves me with a stack of books. 

     "Is Dee here?"  I ask as the elderly lady retreats from the room.

     "No miss," She shakes her head but doesn't appear worried.  "They have not made it back yet."  She exits giving me a nod but no more information.

     I stroll over to the books before seeing what's for breakfast.  My stomach has not settled since I first met Dee, and it's certainly not cooperating now.  What if something happened to her?  Were they talking about me last night?  Did the demons want to kill me now before I brought an angel over?  How in the heck I am supposed to do that anyway!

     The books are NOT pleasure reading.  I hold out some vain hope there would be at least one book of fiction for me to get caught up in and forget about the crazy reality I’m living.  The first few on top are books I have seen and read before.  The most recognizable being Sun Tzu's Art Of War and Clausewitz's Principles of War.  Not the normal summer reading for a teenage girl, but I never did what the normal girls did.  There are four different books about hand to hand combat and fighting styles that I have never seen.  I leaf through them quickly looking mainly at the pictures.  The bottom two books in the stack are the real gems.  My breath catches as I touch the hand sewn leather bindings.  The last two books would never be found in any library.  They are Paladin journals from the last hundred years, and they were written by my great, great aunt Rona.  I take the first volume over to the box seat by the window and gingerly open the cover.  The book is well preserved, the pages have not yellowed and her bold cursive strokes are still vibrant and clear.  She was an excellent artist.  Many pages are sketches of people in her life or places she had been.  I shake a little at seeing her depiction of the demon battles she had fought and the detailed drawings of weapons she had used.  It really brings home the fact that this will be my life.  There's also a captivating drawing of Dee dressed in a flapper gown laughing and looking over her bare shoulder.  Rona had dated it 1927.  It makes me wonder how old Dee really is.  Most of the pictures in the book though were of one man.  Rona drew him over and over doing everything from fighting to eating a piece of pie.  He was handsome and rugged and every picture showed how much his eyes must have sparkled.  He was clearly her favorite thing to draw.  I knew it must be Ben before I even read one word on a page.  She either saw him so much he was the subject easiest to capture, or as it looked more and more from the drawings, she was in absolute love. 

     "Is that how it's going to be for me?" I whisper to myself.

     "Is what how?" a perky voice answers surprising me.  A young teenage girl stands at my doorway cocking her head to one side as she regards me.  "Is that Paladin Rona's journals?"  She asks with huge eyes.  "They just gave them to you?  I have been begging my dad for just a glimpse since they were delivered here!"  She is wearing a neon pink sports bra and tight black yoga pants.  From the look of her dark wet messy hair trying to spill loose out of the ponytail on top her head and her flushed pink face, she must have just finished working out.  She walks in my room confidently.  "My name is Libby."  She shoves her hand at me and I shake it mystified.

     "I'm Maya."  I answer automatically. 

     "Yeah I know," she screws up her mouth as if she tastes something bitter.  "You’re going to be the next Paladin."

     "Umm," I utter not sure what I should be saying to her or who she is.

     "It's Ok," she plops down on my unmade bed.  "I'm like you.  A potential.  Although I'm only 14, so I didn't get considered."  She looks devastated at this announcement.  "I don't know why that should matter so much.  I have trained so hard!  And now it looks like they won't be needing me after all.  I mean, unless you screw up real bad right away and they need another Paladin again soon."  She narrows her eyes at me as if gauging if that's possible.  I'm so shocked at her words I don't have any time to be offended. 

     "You want to be a Paladin?"  I ask perplexed.

     "Of course!  Don't you?"  I hear a little note of accusation in her voice.

     "Want," I purse my lips.  "I wouldn't say I want this.  It's more like I feel it's something incredibly worthwhile and needed.  Frankly I am terrified, and if they told me they found another girl better for the job, I wouldn’t have any hard feelings."

     Libby's eyes grow even wider at my frankness.  "What's not to want?  Travel the world, get to stay young, be extra strong, and don't forget the super hot babe attached to your hip!"

     "You're forgetting the main reason.  Keeping the world safe from encroaching evil.  That’s a pretty big task and a scary one."  I counter.  "When I first found out that all this existed and was real, it was exciting.  As I get older, the reality of getting killed violently kinda puts a damper on it though, don't you think?"

     "Well, only if you put it that way.  I still think I have it worse.  I’m home schooled.  I train every day.  I have no life outside of all of this AND they still expect me to keep doing it even though you’re here now.  I have yet to hear of a Paladin that can’t even make it six years.  Normally the others help you out a lot in the beginning."  She looks at me critically again, and I fold my arms over my chest and stare back.

     "How is it you know so much about all this?  I’m just learning it all."  I question.

     Libby jumps up and spreads out her arms.  "Well, this is my house.  It’s also the main headquarters for the North American branch of Fulcrum, and my dad heads it all up."

     "Fulcrum?"  I ask.

     Libby rolls her brown eyes at me.  "Too busy soaking up the California sunshine to learn about your heritage?"

     "Look, I don't appreciate the tone.  I’ve trained all my life too.  I‘ve lived like a nun.  I never get to do the normal girl things.  I just don’t have access to any more detailed information.  It's not like these books are sitting at my house."  I gesture to the Paladin journals.

     Libby looks contrite.  "I'm sorry."  She says very maturely.  "I'm just insanely jealous!  I know it isn’t your fault.  I do know more than most girls like us."  She admits.  "It's why I always thought it would be me one day."

     "Hey you may still get your wish."  The biting comment escapes my lips.

     "No," now Libby seems genuinely sad.  "The loss of a Paladin is a terrible thing.  To lose a Paladin team early is a complete waste of life.  The longer you live the stronger you get.  The stronger you get, the less chance darkness has of winning."

     "See," I scoff.  "I didn’t know that either."

     Libby sits back down on my bed.  It appears she made up her mind to be nice.  "Fulcrum is the organization that runs the Paladin resources and network.  Fulcrum will be your support base.  My father manages the funds.  He’s a wiz on Wall Street.  He also organizes the training facilities for the people you need aid from.  This building is one of those very training facilities.  I can take you for a tour if you like?"

     Her serious and honest tone mollifies my ruffled feelings.  I realize at fourteen, I might have considered this more like an adventure then a scary death sentence.  "I’m not allowed to leave the room."  I state glumly.

     Libby purses her lips.  "Let me shower and get changed.  I’ll talk with my dad.  Leaving the building is out, but I can't see that he’d object to me showing you around.  OR," her eyes light up.  "You and I could read Rona's journal together."

     Her curiosity makes me laugh, and I suddenly feel the stirrings of my appetite returning.  How about you nose through it while I eat and then go see your dad.  I am feeling a little cooped up."  I admit.

     "Deal."  She thrusts her hand out and I give it a firm exaggerated shake.  Maybe Libby and I can be friends of a sort after all.

   

        

           

     Libby is true to her word.  After perusing the journals and reciting some more action filled parts out loud, she manages to get her father to agree that a tour inside the building would be perfectly fine.  The place is larger then I first thought with the penthouse and training facility taking up five floors.  Libby walks us through the kitchen and various meeting rooms.  One entire floor is simply a library.  We head down to the training floor.    

     "Do you need to stay inside today too?  Or is this something I should take more personally."  I try to laugh as I speak but the words come out shaky.

     Libby bunches up her lips before she speaks.  I'm noticing that this gesture is very common for her.  It's her way of giving her brain a bit of time to think before she speaks.  "Well, I don't get out much anyway.  My dad is a bit of a control freak, but today is more about your safety.  The big bad uglies know Dee came back with a young teenage girl in tow.  They may not know for certain you’re to be the next Paladin, but that won't stop them from trying to kill you."  She actually shrugs as if it’s not the scariest thing in the world to have something want to kill you.  

     "That’s a lot to take in."  I say cautiously while trying not to hyperventilate.

     "Oh gosh Maya," Libby smacks her head.  "I guess I'm just not used to having to cushion the blow, so to speak."

     "I’m not asking you to sugar coat things."  I draw my shoulders up.  For some reason, I don't want her to see how scared I really am.

     "Well the truth is it'll be much easier for the demons to kill you now than it will be after the bond.  You're not as strong, and there is just one of you to contend with.  Plus it makes it that much longer until another Paladin is found.  We aren't an endless supply, and they know it.  So the desire to kill you is out there.  The other more important truth is that Dee and Sam know they’re here and you need to trust they’ll keep you safe."  Libby opens a door and ushers me in.  It looks like a very updated dojo with padded mat floors, hanging sand bags, floor to ceiling mirrors, and a wall displaying staffs, various kinds of swords, and throwing stars. 

     "What about Rona and Ben?  They weren't safe."  I gulp the words down and automatically remove my shoes before stepping onto the mat.  

     "Rona and Ben were awesome."  Libby's eyes tear up and I feel guilty thinking she must have known them.  "But no one is stronger or more powerful then Sam and Dee.  They always get the job done, as my father likes to say." She grew quiet for a bit, staring off into space.  "This will be your training room while you’re here.  I can spar with you in the mornings and after dinner when you need a partner.  Middle of day I am supposed to be hitting the books, but I got today off to show you around."

     "Thanks for that.  I would've gone stir crazy cooped up all day."  I take a breath and build up my nerve to ask.  "So you knew Rona and Ben?"

     "Of course," Libby chews her lip.  "Any Paladin working in the US has permanent residence here. You’re staying in Rona and Ben's room.  Rona was like this super cool big sister.  She always answered my questions and took time out to show me things.  She even took me to my first PG 13 flick, sneaking me out with out my father knowing.  She was a ton of fun."

     "She was my great, great aunt.  It's hard to imagine her as anything but Grandma like."  I cannot imagine Rona looking younger than I am now.

     "Really?"  Libby looks at me with renewed interest.  "Yeah, I can see a resemblance now that you mentioned it.  You have her blue eyes and blond hair for sure."

     "What were they like?  Did they act like Sam and Dee, just all over each other?  Were they in love?"  I felt foolish asking but it's foremost on my mind today.

     Libby doubles over laughing.  "I have never heard anyone describe Sam and Dee as all over each other.  Makes them sound like horny teenagers.  From what I've seen and read all Paladin couples end up as couples.  I don't think the guys have much choice in the matter."  Libby grins.

     "Why not?"  My forehead wrinkles up.

     Libby screws her face up again.  "Rona told me this once, maybe it will help you.  The guys are here because you bring them over.  You were here before.  You have a life and feelings that are all your own.  They come here almost like new. They remember facts but not experiences.  Their world is completely centered around you.  Kind of like an obsession of sorts."

     I sit down on the mat cross legged and breathe a large breath out.  "That sounds horrible."

     Libby joins me on the floor.  "Rona did say it was a little intense at times, but she was really into Ben too.  I think it's romantic."  She has a dreamy look on her face while she speaks.  "A true soul mate.  Not in the lame story book way of love at first sight, but in the way that you actually share a soul, a life, and are eternally bound together.  You never need to worry about meeting the right guy or getting dumped.  He's simply a part of you."

     I may be five years older than Libby, but in the boy department, we had about the same experience.  Zero.  I had looked forward to dating.  I wanted to meet different guys, get dressed up for going on those awkward first dates, and talk and laugh about every detail with Naomi.  All these thing were still to be denied me.  I never fantasized about the next steps or the bigger things like a relationship.  I just wanted to stop training and start being a real girl.  "What did I agree to? Saving the world from darkness or an arranged marriage?" 

     "A little bit of both actually."  The answer didn't come from Libby but from a familiar musical voice.  I turn and see Dee has returned and is standing in the doorway.  Her hair is wet and tied back into a bun at the nape of her neck.  She's wearing loose fitting drawstring pants and a grey tank top.  She must have gotten back in enough time to take a shower before ferreting out my whereabouts.  Libby and I both jump up.  My face colors wondering how long she was listening.    

     "I think I will take it from here Libby."  Dee dismisses the girl with a nod and Libby makes no protest.  In fact, she almost stumbles over herself getting out of the room as fast as she can.

     I feel exposed.  Should I not have been talking to a 14 year old about such things?  Libby was just so much more in the know then me.  "Is it bad we were talking?"

     "No," Dee strolls over to the wall and pries off two long polls.  She tosses one to me and I catch it wondering where this is going.

     "I would like to see where your skill level is at so I know what we need to work on."  She explains.

     "Okay."  I'm disappointed thinking she isn't going to elaborate on the other subject.

     "You can ask me any questions you have Maya.  We just don’t have much time so we will need to multi task."  Dee quirks a smile.

     "Are there demons in the city that want me dead?"  I walk with her to the center of the room.

     "A lot less now than this morning, but demons will always want you dead everywhere you go from now on."  Dee doesn't have an accompanying smile this time and I know she’s serious.

     I nod to show I understand.  "What will it be like?  The bonding."

     "That’s a fair question but you won’t like my answer," Dee grimaces.  "It’s different for every woman that experiences it."

     "But there must be some things that are similar."  I protest not wanting to be swayed away.

     "Yes," Dee was solemn.  "There will be pain.  You will lose a part of yourself in the process, but you will gain something great in return.  In the end you will be bound to another individual, and that bonding is unlike anything you could guess at."

     "What was it like for you?" I ask breathlessly trying to imagine my future.  I have goose bumps all over my arms and I can't resist a huge desire to hug myself.

     "It felt like the complete end of my life and the beginning of something terrifying and slightly wonderful."  Dee spun the ring around on her left hand absently as she spoke, but it drew my attention.

     "Are you Sam's wife?"  I blurt out before I lose my nerve.

     "That is a complex question."  Dee stops touching the ring.

     "It only requires a yes or no answer."  I dare to reply.

      Dee looks at me squarely with her golden eyes.  "Yes and no," she answers with a wary grin.  "Things were different when I became a Paladin.  The morality of today's culture offers women many more choices.  I could not travel and live with Sam without being his wife.  It was done out of necessity for my safety."

     I thought about the way he looked at her in the car, that feeling of gravity between them.  "If I asked Sam the question what would he say?"

     A slight surprise showed in Dee's eyes.  "You are perceptive for a young girl.  He would emphatically say yes we are.  He has very definite opinions on the subject."  Dee's eyes lose focus as if she is remembering.  When her eyes float back to me they are slightly wistful.  "Can I give you some advice Maya?"

     I sigh loudly.  "Oh Yes.  Please!"

     "I heard what Libby spoke to you about.  A fourteen year old has no idea what an emotional rollercoaster the next months will be for you.  Don't lose all of yourself during the transformation.  The desire to let go will be greater then you might imagine, but it is vital you keep hold of who you are now.  If not, one day you will regret changing so drastically."  Dee pauses and I wonder if this advice is from personal experience or something she just observed in others.  "Libby had a few things right though.  When you bring over your 'other half', his focus on you will feel a bit overwhelming.  For him you are mother, for he forms from you.  You are friend, for there will never be another being that will understand him so completely as you.  You are sister, for even when you fight and disagree you will still feel like family.  You are student, for he will have knowledge that is other worldly that he must teach you.  You are teacher, for though he knows of this world he has never been part of it and so many things will be new to him.  And yes you are lover, for he will desire you.  He will never feel complete until you are one, bringing together the part of you that forms him and the part of him that changes you."

     I can scarcely breathe, her words press upon me so heavily.  "That is a whole lot of people to be.  How could I ever know what feelings were real and what were there simply because of the bond?  I have absolutely no experience with men and pretty soon I will be living with one."  I manage to speak wondering who this man will be that will rip apart and shake up my world so completely.

     "It’s a great deal to ask I know."  Dee's strong warm hand rests on my shoulder.  "You were very little informed of all this.  Some family's ties and responsibilities are greater than others.  Children like Libby experience more and are at the heart of things that are happening.  Your family took more of a waiting approach.  The goal was to live normal enough, unless called upon.  I do respect that, but it makes the transition to this life hard.  Do you wish to forsake your vow?"

     I stop breathing completely.  I didn't think once I left my home behind I would be asked this question.  I think of my aunt Rona.  She might have died in a tragic ending but she had lived for over a hundred years.  Looking through her journal had given me quite a glimpse of her life, and it had been long and thrilling.  As terrified as I am to face my first demon, the idea of going home is shallow now.  "No I am committed to do this."

     "Good girl," Dee sighs acting relieved.

     I remember that her search for me was longer and more difficult then she had thought.  It makes me question if there is another to possibly take my place if need be or would they have to wait until someone like Libby was old enough?  Dee appears to be done with my questions though.  She takes a defensive stance and signals for me to go on the offensive. 

     "All right Maya, time to show me what you can do."  Dee's eyes sparkle with a challenge, and I suddenly feel up for meeting it.