Walk With Me Again

Walk With Ma Again

Walk with me again across the grassy field

holding my hand in your innocence as we chatter

Another spring day bright with sun and youth

All we care about is being together.

I lead you through the forest that edges our field

Walking an unmarked path to a fallen log

we sit and I wrap  your beauty in my arms

so soft, so sweet you turn to me, we kiss.

In the days of our youth and growing love

we held each other closer, more tightly.

I can never remember not wanting you

I plead, walk again with me across our grassy field.

Reviews

[KCthelastboyscout]

" I can never remember not wanting you" great line. This is a romantic little story.so much to say with so few words

[k]

This poem captures the essence of young love very well. The tone comes across as very genuine and I never doubted for a second that the speaker's feelings were authentic.

Something that you could consider in revision is using more description and concrete details. What does your field look like, smell like? What does the air taste like? What do you hear, if anything? And you describe the "she" in this poem as beautiful a few different times, but beautiful means different things to everyone. What color are her eyes? What does her hair look like? Is her beauty more than physical? These details are all missing from the poem.

Good job, I hope this was helpful!

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Beautiful
Tender
Loving
Poignant

[Great Aunt Astri]

I like the way 'the grassy field' becomes 'our grassy field'. A very caring and gentle poem. Nice to read.

[Patrick Ramsey]

Beautiful, tender, longing.

[Samuel Dickens]

This is so sensitive and lovingly written. There is beauty, joy, and the freshness of youth, but then there's the realization of past tense and great longing. Excellent writing, my friend.