Mother

Talo is enjoying her peaceful elven life when the forest she and her partner are watching gains a few unwanted guests. After setting out to find the shadows in the night Talo finds herself on a journey of endless confusion and a twist that will ethier lea

 

Mother

The night’s sky lightly loomed over the dark shaded forest that covered the passages between the large scarlet river and the glittering elf kingdom of Tal’wood. The lush forest was so thick it was impossible to move freely side to side without hitting another tree, for anything other than an elf that was. It was the shoulder slams and small grunts that first gave off his presence, which resulted in a heated argument between the two tower guards over who would go check. The tallest of the tower guards was named Lamien and he held a strong slender figure which was common among the elves. His pale white eyes were nothing special and his smooth cheek bone complemented his handsome feel, but it was the other guard who had the mouth on her. The elf was smaller than most and had slim shoulders with a light purple shade to her skin, which matched her deep purple eyes. Her hair was tied back in a white bow, and the hair tie seemed to be made out of some sort of brown leather, unlike any elf material. She wore a small white strapped pair of leather pants and a shirt to match which rose up to her neck, which revealed a soft tattoo on her neck revealing her name, Talo. “I am the fastest between us, why won’t you just let me go?!” pleaded Talo but Lamien would not listen, and he explained again how his heightened senses would help him find the target, if any, quicker than her.

Talo pouted and looked over to the soft pale moon which had turned a light scarlet colour from the reflection of the lake. Lamien finally gave up and placed his hand on her shoulder “Be shift sister, don’t fall to the forests charm,” Lamien said as he looked softly into her eyes, a hint of pleasure hit his lips. Talo nodded and placed her hand firmly on the rail before launching herself off the large tree like structure. As she landed she let out a small groan of pain and launched herself forward into the nights haze. The forest was its thickest in the centre where they had been, and it proved challenging even for her to dodge the large trunks that stood older than the foundations of their race itself.

Talo stopped and the wind lightly blew west, carried a soft heat to it, the type of heat that was carried by another living animal. The dark forest did not have any native animals, but for what reason the elves were unsure. Talo spun with such force that the two small daggers she held in her belt almost flew off into the several tree trunks around her. She collected herself and slowly inched her head around the trunks one by one, becoming frustrated as she continued the process. The wind blew once more, this time from the east. Talo picked up the same hot air as she had before, and also a scent.

It was a scent that she had never smelt before; it was strong and musky and had a hint of flesh to it. Talo lunged forward and threw the dagger on the right side of her belt into the darkness that seemed to carry the smell. But as the dagger spun and dug into the trunk just out of her vision she heard no cry of pain. Talo sighed and slowly walked over to fetch the dagger, but as she did her heart pounded violently. The dagger, a long silver blade which had been melted at the back of the blade into a handle which consisted of three small holes for her finger tips. The first hole of the knife glinted back at her from the small amount of light that was given off from the moon, it was blood.

Talo rushed to the knife and was careful not to touch it, in case the blood dripped onto the dark forest floor. Talo lightly extended her tongue and licked the knife, consuming the blood. She tasted it and pulled the dagger out of the hole that she had made in the tree. Talo’s eyes widened as she made the connection.  “A human,” she muttered. Her voice carried far in the silent woods and it seemed to be met by a mixture of gargles and roars that emitted from the south corner of the forest. Talo jerked her eyes back to the sound and then shifted her figure back up against the tree, her heart rate increased. The pale moon light slowly shifted over the small clearing ahead of her, filled with no plants or other forest grasses. The light quickly filled the clearing and a shadowy figure was revealed.

The figure was tall, hooded and seemed to be holding an object that Talo had never seen before. The long metal shaft was nailed to a smaller wooden shaft and it seemed to be holding an arrow, but it was unlike any other bow Talo had seen before. The figure held it high and Talo got one glimpse of his eyes, and before he released the foreign weapon upon her, they were gouged out. The arrow shot with demonic like speed, and if it was not for Talo’s endless hours in the training ring she would not have made the narrow dodge to the side. Her experience was limited there as the figure continued to launch the weapon upon her, proving to have no time between his shots. “This is impossible, how can he shoot without any eyes!” Talo screamed in frustration, and again narrowly dodged the next shot which howled over her right shoulder and into the large black tree behind her.

Talo had reached her mental limit and she found it hard to follow the arrows movements; only a small amount of time separated her from a hole in her heart and dodging the arrow. It was then the figure did something Talo was waiting for, reloaded. The figure pulled up the weapon and began to franticly reload it; Talo did not wait to pick out the details of the art. She lunged forward and revealed the silver knife from before and with the force of her right side she plunged the knife in the man’s direction. The attack would have been one of true elven skill if the figure had not been prepared for such an attack. The figure pulled out a large silver claymore and dropped the other weapon almost instantly. He parried the attack and forced her blade into the catch at the bottom, but he underestimated Talo’s strength and found his weapon hurled into the nearby tree that bent over them, creating the only shelter from the moon in the clearing.

The figure grunted in frustration and tried to punch Talo, but his fist proved too slow, Talo plunged the silver knife into his gut and ripped it out the side of his rib cage. The figure fell without a sound and Talo lightly lent over him, slowly running the blade up the hood. Talo at the time had wanted to see who the man was, but after removing the hood she believed was not such a good idea. The man, if Talo could even call him that anymore, had his eyes gouged out, ears removed, face  beyond any torture the elves were capable of, and his lips were also removed. The figure was so ugly that Talo had to turn away before her lunch caught up with her. But continued her study of the figure for some minutes before her heart sank with fear. The figure may have held many scars but there was only one flesh wound. She stepped back slowly and began to bring her senses up to a level where she was able to once more hear the surrounding sounds of the forest, a skill she had learnt when she was only young. The forest was quiet and the landscape proved as dead as the body that lay motionless under her, but something was approaching. The pattered footsteps were not like that of the figure she had fought before, no his footsteps were sluggish and more like a giant's. The footsteps continued with haste and they seemed to be approaching Talo, but she was unsure. Before long the scarlet moon once more found a small gap in the thick forest leaves above her and it shone a small, weak beam of light down into the forest clearing, it was then she could see it.

It was weak at first and the light proved to be nothing more than a hinder to her vision, but before long it allowed her to see what was going on only a few feet from the clearing. Two figures were fighting beside the large river that divided the human and elven lands. One was wearing a long hooded cloak like the monster she had just killed, but the other was dressed like no monster she knew of. The figure's silver breast plate and long thin silver blade moved with grace and it proved to put her in almost a trance, it was then that Talo knew who the other figures was, Lamien. Lamien ducked backwards and forwards as he parried the attacks with ease, he almost made it look like he was enjoying himself but Talo knew Lamien better than that. They had grown up together, and as a result she had learnt all there was to learn about the elf. Lamien had never enjoyed fighting and the only reason he had learnt the forbidden art, in his eyes, was to protect the elven capital. Lamien had proved himself to be a gentle and kind elf on more than one occasion; the most memorable was the time he had taken Talo’s hand in dance on the night of the Gish star, a festival the elves celebrated with endless dancing and parties. As Talo came back to her senses she saw that Lamien was gaining the upper hand and before long he delivered a bloody uppercut to the hooded figure, leaving him in two. Talo rushed to his side. “Lamien! Lamien!” she screamed and his head jolted in surprise, almost pulling his blade on her.

“Talo who … what are these things” he questioned, but Talo just replied with a light shrug. The pair slowly began to study their surroundings before looking back at each other and nodding, it was time to report this.

The pair moved with haste back to the large watch tower that stood on top of the highest tree in the forest, which the elves had ironically named, the tower. Talo and Lamien made haste to the top and scrambled to the large horn that pointed to the elven kingdom to the north. With one large breath Lamien blew into the horn and to ignorant ears it would seem that the horn created no sound at all, but this was far from the truth. The horn emitted a small magical signal that would alert any elf in the kingdom who had tapped into the magical stream they had created. The amount of energy to emit the signal was so much that Lamien instantly sat down and began to take deep breaths to calm himself. “I … cannot move from here for some time, Talo,” he said, trying to keep his tone. “But it’s up to you to get out of the forest and return to the kingdom where you may escort the elves to where the bodies are.” Lamien once again dropped his head between his legs and began to breath heavily. Talo did not like the idea of leaving Lamien there alone but she knew it was the only option. Her heart sank and her eyes almost began to water as she turned away from Lamien. I don’t want to leave him, she thought to herself but refused to voice it, she knew Lamien was too honour bound to allow her to falter to her feelings.

Talo forced herself to look away so she would not make eye contact with Lamien, and jumped with grace off the side of the watch tower. She landed with a thump but managed to stay on her feet, quickly collecting herself. She spun her feet around and began to run; her pace faster than most elven scouts, her dodging was still that of a novice. She managed only to get hit by two trees on the way back to the kingdom, before long she found herself running on harder limestone ground.

Before her stood the elven castle of Elrick, named after the elven god of structure and safety. Talo moved with unrelenting haste to the front gates which already seemed to be buzzing with action. As she approached the large group of elven shoulders turned to face her, their eyes filled with confusion and worry. The elven guards wore a unique outfit among the elven society and stood as the only force to wear such a smooth set of steel plated amour. The amour seemed to have no breaks between the three piece set, and on each smooth piece of steel a symbol of Elrick was engraved, which was the symbol of a single tree. Talo held out her hand to stop them before she was assaulted with questions, and she regained her figure before speaking, she explained the attack and went into detail on the attackers, relaying fighting styles and described in detail the oddly crafted weapons that they had held. When she finished the elves looked at each other and then back to her and before long she noticed that they were in a total state of confusion.  She quickly questioned them. “What’s wrong? That’s why your here is it not, brothers and sisters?” The elves looked at each other and slowly shook their heads. One larger elf that stood at the front of the pack looked down at Talo and his eyes proved to be filled with the confusion the rest held.

“We are here because of the forest rifts, not because of the horn.” Talo’s eyes jolted in surprise and she spun her head so quickly she swore it could of almost come off.

A forest rift was a spell that used the energy of an elf to create a large rift of power that would force the nature around the elf to lash out at any other living creature in its presence. Talo never knew an elf that had lived through the spell as it required a great amount of mental and physical fortitude and training to even conjure the starting energy to use the spell. Talo soon turned back to the men. “Are you sure there was a rift?” her voice was on the border line of a sobbing hack. The elves sighed and nodded but Talo knew they did not understand the gravity of the situation.

She tried to regain her figure once more but it was useless. Her body tensed up and her eyes seemed to have small waterfalls installed under them as the clear liquid of agony and pain leaked out of her. It was always rare to see a elf cry due to the weak emotion bonds between the race,  as Talo gave in to her sorrow and cried uncontrollably the elves around her began to clear their own eyes,  they tried to fight back to urge to join her. The larger elf leaned down beside her; he held her shoulders and waited a decent five minutes before speaking. “Your partner, it was your partner in the guard tower who used it, was it not?” His voice was strong and calm but it proved to be only insulting to Talo. She forced out a nod as her mouth was gagged from her uncontrolled weeping.

Talo felt a blunt force to the back of her head and her vision went blank. Her surroundings became a blur and the only thing she could see was Lamien's face. Soon she was able to open her eyes and her surroundings had changed, she was in a padded room. She wore a white jacket that tied up behind her holding her hands in place and she wore matching pants that were wrapped around her feet to prevent her moving. She could hear voices coming from behind the only defining feature in the room, a large glass mirror. “As you can see your daughter is completely insane, she has lost all grips on reality and believes she is an elf called Talo. She refuses to eat unless it is a form of fruit and twice has she tried to stab one of our men trying to take her to the toilet, labelling them as some eyeless monster that killed her loved one. I’m sorry Ma’m but there is little I can offer your daughter here.” Talo knew that voice and she soon made sense of her surroundings.

“In prison again? I told you I had nothing to do with the forest rift!” she screamed but no reply met her plea. Another voice began to speak from behind the door, a woman’s in fact. The voice was calmer than the other and she seemed to be holding something back as she spoke. “Then we have no choice, give her the injection and let her rest in her world forever.” The voice began to sob towards the end of her sentence. But before long the voice regained its strength and spoke once more. “I want it done now, I must watch.”

From then all Talo could hear was the clangs and movement of steel and a door opened up behind her which allowed two men dressed in white inside. The men restrained her and held her down on the white padded floor so tightly she swore she could have been killed from the force alone. The man ripped off her sleeve and held out his hand to the other man, which handed him a needle. Just as the needle was about to go into her arm the mirror flickered and changed and two figures were revealed. One was a large man with a white coat, his name badge read ‘Dr Lamien’ but it was not him that she was focusing on, but it was the women beside him. Her soft blue eyes gazed into Talo with sorrow as Talo’s powerless state was revealed to her. She had long black hair and wore a soft blue summer dress; a flower pattern was sown into the fabric. The women looked into her and Talo looked back, she soon felt the needle go in. Her vision began to blur once more and a large jolt of pain hit the back of her head. But before she fell into the abyss of death she muttered one word, her voice so soft it was almost a whisper. “Mother.”

 

 

Author's Note

It has been edited but i understand there is still some grammar problems.

Reviews

[Mark]

Well, I'm glad I broke down and read this lengthy piece, Martin, as when I looked at the first line and saw wood elves, I dismissed it, as it couldn't be done better than Tolkein and Lewis have already done it. It's now over a week since, and I changed my mind and gave it a try, and to my astonishment, once I had discovered that it was an insane girl's delusion, I actually liked it. But it does undeniably require a good deal of work.
Everything in a story should advance the story, not just demonstrate the writer's cleverness. You include a good deal of extraneous detail which does NOT advance the story: the castle's namesake and his rank, the activities at the festival, Talo's tattoos, among others.This level of description works in a much longer piece, where entire paragraphs can be devoted to it, but in a short story, they are interruptions. Doubtless, Talo's world is a vibrant and richly detailed place in your mind, and you wish to share it, but do that in the book you will eventually write.
Be cautious of subconscious plagiarism. I believe a lone tree on the breastplate of a suit of armor was used by Tolkein in The Two Towers, whether it was the guardians of Denethor or of Rohan I cannot recall. This error will get you marked as a piker quicker than anything else.
Lastly, I might suggest an introductory line, to let the reader know the score--Not this, but something LIKE this: "The clicks of the locks in the now-closed steel door were as switches in Talo's head, turning off the pain, shutting down the fear, and permitting her entre to the world that was her only true respite."
I will be happy to open a dialogue with you on this should you desire to.
Sincerely, and I hope, inoffensively yours,
Mark Teague