The Sweet Memory

A story about first falling in love... a story about a girl who loved with all her heart, until the day even that bitter taste of her sweet memory started to be less painfull than her present... A st

       Her name was Katie, a beautiful 20 - year old girl, with attractive blue eyes and long brown wavy hair that always was put in a long ponytail with a beautiful pink flower on the top. She loved to wear pink dresses who complimented her fit body. She worked in the shop for wedding dresses that was near her house where she lived with her parents and her little sister. She seemed to be very happy, always smiling, and having that beautiful smile that looked like it was more beautiful than the most beautiful song of the birds, but that was not completely true. There was a memory that she kept in her heart since she was 17 years old. That was a sweet memory, full with passion and feelings that always when she thought about that her heart was setting on fire and her eyes started to shine like a full moon in the darkest night, and sadly she always looked down to the floor, never to the blue sky, because the reappearing of that sweet memory was as hard to reach as the sky. Impossible. Her sweet memory was her first love, a boy that she never could forget in those last 3 years. She met him almost like in a fairytale, on a very shiny summer day on the annual ball where every girl had to choose her dancing partner picking a card with number. Her number was 2 and at first she wanted to go home but when she saw the boy with number 2 she changed her mind in the very same moment. She was attracted by his dark black eyes, nice black hair and attractive lips, but mostly she was attracted by that sweet playful and in the same time quiet look in his eyes. She loved what she saw inside his eyes, she did not saw even his black color while they where dancing all day, but something more, something that was inside him, that always stayed with her since then. That was why she was so enchanted of that day, that was why she was sometimes sad and actually that was the only reason why she was sad, nothing in her life was sad, except that one little sweet memory inside of her heart. She even did not knew his name, he was just the number 2.
     That was how one day while she was at work she got a phone call that the fiance of the son of the richest man in the town, was going to come in the shop to choose her wedding dress. She did not knew the girl or her fiance name, nor she knew personally the father of her boyfriend but she knew only one thing, only one number, the number 2. That was simply the name of the company they owned and where her father worked. She was very happy that will receive her in her shop, same as every new bride that ever entered in her workplace.
   Later that day, about 3 hours after the phone call black car arrived in front of the building and attractive blonde girl came out from the car that was straight going into the shop and some boy was coming out from the car and going after her, but Katie did not pay any attention on him.
 - Good afternoon. How are you?- said the blonde girl. - My name is Angelica Robin. And this here is my future husband Pit Sailors.- pointing with her left hand towards the boy with short black hair who showed his black eyes after he took off his sunglasses. At that moment she drop the books that were in her hands and her hands start trembling while her smile went away. That was the boy, that was her sweet memory, Pit was the boy she loved the last three years and was about to get married with the blonde girl who was in front of her and she was sure that he loved her.
 - Good afternoon, miss Angelica, sir Pit. Welcome to our shop... I am very glad you are here... - she was trembling and barely standing on her foot. -My name is Katie. How can I help you?
 - Of course... I am here to buy a wedding dress.- Angelica started to be rude.
 - Hey, I think that we know each other miss Katie? - noticed Pit.
 - Yes, sir. We danced together at the ball before 3 years when you were number 2.- she answered.
 - Oh, really? You know each other. What a thing... is that thing... - Angelica started to be rude more and more while Pit was picking up the books that she drop noticing that she is nervous for something.
    That day when she went home she was not even hungry. She went in her room and cried all day long wondering why she is so unhappy. She was sure that she will never be able to forget him, now knowing his name and knowing the look inside of his eyes was not changed. Katie knew that now her life will be sad till the day she will leave this world. The days started to pass and were full with work, she saw him almost everyday and met his closest family even his older brother who looked like him but did not had that sweet look, the memory she had, the memory she now saw so often. Now she knew why he had the number 2 on the dance, it was not sohard to guess and what was worse a new annual ball was going to happen and in her surprise K, the older brother of Pit asked her to dance with him since now the dance was not chosen with cards with numbers. She had to go anyway so she said yes.
    Few weeks later on the night after the ball K asked Katie to marry him in the same day as the day of the wedding of Pit and his fiance. This was so big surprise for all of them especially for Katie, who did not know that he has such feelings for her, she was not even his girlfriend, she loved Pit so she said no. She gave negative answer.
   The next day her family was trying to make her change her mind, but she gave the same answer all the time. Katie knew that she will never be happy with K, no matter that he was young, rich and very handsome. She worked every day very hard, trying to talk only with Angelica about her wedding, avoiding Pit and K. The pain she felt in her heart was big, so big that she wanted to take her heart off her chest and throw it away.
   Finally the day of the big wedding in the town arrived and everyone was happy, everyone but not Katie. She was so sad when Pit said ''Yes'' in front of the minister, she could barely take it when he gave the ceremony kiss to Angelica, now his wife. Few hours after that he was taken to a hospital because he had very weak heart and needed a new one. His family was devastated and Angelica did not stop crying.
    Katie did not doubt it not even one second, she decided that she will give him her heart.
    The next day they found her body almost dead with a letter for Pit near him.
    - I love you too... - he said with tears in his eyes when he finished reading the letter. It was that day when the look in her eyes changed forever. And the next day on the day of Katie's funeral the sky was as dark as never before and the song of the birds was as sad as never before. Katie become a sweet memory for everyone that knew her. She found a way to take her heart off and to kill the pain she felt inside of her, making finally Pit to say those three words that she always wanted to hear, although they were not true and although she never heard them.  She could not take that sweet memory with her on the sky where she joined the other angels like her.

Reviews

[Auby]

Awww, this story is so touching! To remember for three whole years...so sad! Now for my editorial pet peeves to come in, haha:
1. Try not to use the actual number 3/2/etc. and use three/two/etc.
2. Try not to have runny sentences: It makes it seem like you're in a rush to get everything into one sentence. Take your time.
3. The pacing was good, and I like how you use the indentations well.
4. Your punctuation could use some work, be sure to read sentences out loud to see if they need commas, a period, etc. :)
5. Try, instead of just saying "Impossible." Try to not use fragments and say something like "It was not possible to reach it." Or, "It was impossible for her to reach it."
6. Your descriptive words were very nice.
Good job! I loved this story! Keep writing! :)