Frankly Frank (Segregation is the s**t. Part Two)

A Screenplay by MattHeston

The Final Chapter.

Scene opens with Mayor Abe staring at the sweater John had given him.

Abe: Wait, this sweater was a bribe! Im going to kick his a*s!

Scene cuts to John giving out free sweaters to people on the south side of town. Frank walks up to him.

Frank: What are you doing?

John: Getting these people to join me. I just know that b*****d mayor is going to try to shut down my sweater making shop.

Frank: Youve enslaved tons of black children to make these sweaters.

John: Exactly! They cant fight with me. Im going to need able bodied adults.

John hands out a sweater.

John: Thank you. Join the cause.

Scene cuts to Abe looking out of his window. His assistant walks in.

Abe: Hes building an army. I need you to gather [Pause] The group.

Assistant: Is it really that serious sir?

Abe: Its more serious than a feeble minded Jew, like yourself, could ever hope to comprehend.

The assistant leaves. Scene cuts to Frank walking up to Skylar.

Frank: Hey dude, whats up?

Skylar: Not much, bored as usual.

Frank: Me too. My dads up to his old antics. Hes trying to fight the mayor.

Skylar: What? You cant fight the mayor. His army is unstoppable. Hes gunna need all the help he can get.

Frank: Youre f*****g with me right?

Skylar: Of course not! Im going to need my lucky machete.

Frank: You have fun getting killed. Im gunna go get drunk with Jesus.

Back at Johns mansion John is dressed up for war. He has an extremely buff man next to him. Theyre standing in front of an army.

John: Alright every one, I know you were expecting punch and cake but you know how lies work. This man next to me is called Sarge. He will be taking care of business while I get drunk and smoke crack.

Sarge: Alright maggots, Im going to get you all in shape in preparation for battle.

Soldier: Sarge, my ankle hurts.

Sarge: Pain is for the weak.

Scene cuts to Frank and Jesus walking around town.

Jesus: So man, I heard your dad was trying to start s**t with the mayor.

Frank: Yeah, hes been f****n ridiculous lately.

Jesus: It happens. Sometimes its the result of a disease.

Frank: Right, like Im going to trust Jesus on anything science related.

Scene cuts to Abe sitting in his office, a shadow appears behind him and grows as it gets closer.

Person: Hello mayor.

Abe: Oh my god its you, the Klondike Killer.

Klondike: Wrong, Ive given my life to God. Now Im the Klondike Crusader. Ive come to join your fight.

Abe: What makes you think youre tough enough to join us?

Klondike: Because, I was part of Seal team six.

Abe: Really??

Klondike: No, of course not. Im a convicted felon. No, youre going to let me join because if you dont Im gunna scream really loud.

Abe: Ok mister Crusader, youve got yourself a deal.

Klondike: Thats right mother f****r.

Scene cuts to Sarge entering a gym full of Johns soldiers working out.

Sarge: What are you doing??

Soldier: Working out boss.

Sarge: Working out is for the weak!

Everyone leaves in a hurry.

Sarge: [Picking up a dung bell] Works ever time.

Scene cuts to Frank and Jesus sitting on the floor of Jesuss apartment, high.

Frank: You know man, this whole war type thing is just stupid.

Jesus: Yeah, you just gotta let people live their lives, ya know?

Frank: Definitely dude.

Jesus: Hey, I got an idea. Lets start a band to protest the war.

Frank: Can you play an instrument?

Jesus: Nope.

Frank: Huh, I say lets do it, but later.

Jesus: Yeah, later.

Sarge and all the soldiers are in a cafeteria eating.

Soldier: Im gunna get seconds.

Sarge: Seconds are for the weak.

Soldier: Thats your third helping.

Sarge: Ive been a few places boy.

Scene cuts to Abe talking to his assistant.

Abe: Prepare the troupes to attack at noon.

Assistant: Noon isnt a great time for me. Can we do it after noon?

Abe: Well, I dont see why not.

Skylar: [Sharpening a knife] Frank, Ive got to join this war.

Frank: What are you talking about?

Skylar: [Stands and looks at Frank] Ive got to fight with your dad. To end the tyranny of equality.

Frank: You cant be serious? I didnt know you were a racist c**t.

Skylar: You call me racist? You were part of an attempt to destroy all Jews.

Frank: Thats different. Its okay to hate Jews. Theyre all greedy dirty tax w****s.

Skylar: Youre disgusting.

Frank: Come on, Ive never met a cool Jew. But a lot of black people are cool. Except OJ Simpson, Shaq, Obama, Kobe Bryant, Martin Luther King, Martin Luther King Jr, and so on.

Next scene shows John and Principle Bush sitting in John office.

Bush: So, Im glad to be on your side. Ive been meaning to shoot a black guy or two.

Skylar bursts through the doors and walks up to John.

John: [Dismissing Bush] So, you want to join us, I assume.

Skylar: Yes. I deserve to.

John: What makes you so sure?

Skylar unbuttons his shirt to show a Green Bay Packers jersey. John looks at him and does the same.

John: Welcome to the crew. Go out to the base and see Sarge.

Skylar goes out and walks up to Sarge.

Skylar: Hello sir, Ive come to join the cause.

Sarge: Joining us is for the weak.

Scene cuts to Klondike getting the troops ready.