The smoke

The smoke

A Poem by MattWheatus
"

Short reflective rambling.

"

As I breathed out the smoke, we watched if fall to the floor

White rolling seahorses meandered downwards

A polite and gentle stampede as I sent through more

 

Rustling and whispering so that only you and I could hear

We were spindling silver silken secrets

Into the fine thread that ties us here

 

The warm lethargy soothes over my skin

You pull in tight feeling my soothing cloud grow

Sharing my breath, holding my secret within

© 2010 MattWheatus



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Featured Review

A glimpse at a penned portrait of a moment in time.. You could get an image of two silhouettes huddled in a plume of smoke.. with only whispering, rustling to be heard.. pulling in tight .. this left the reader hanging on your breathe in the mystery of the secret that lingers.. the white rolling seahorses a nice wording for the plumes of smoke!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

There is something sensual about this piece..maybe, it's
the breathing, and whispering, but it all ties in very well
together.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

You were right, I love it. I especially love the description of the smoke, because I can actually tell what you're describing. Great job.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A glimpse at a penned portrait of a moment in time.. You could get an image of two silhouettes huddled in a plume of smoke.. with only whispering, rustling to be heard.. pulling in tight .. this left the reader hanging on your breathe in the mystery of the secret that lingers.. the white rolling seahorses a nice wording for the plumes of smoke!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

spindling silver silken secrets. I like the way you put that. Nice poem.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Ian
I like your poem seems to me is that smoking keeps you relaxed
and you describe what the smoke shapes it turned into

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

loved it

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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507 Views
6 Reviews
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Added on January 24, 2010
Last Updated on March 4, 2010
Tags: reflective, short, observation, smoke, smoking, love

Author

MattWheatus
MattWheatus

Guildford, Surrey, United Kingdom



About
British Boy, 28 years old. I'm on the corporate ladder by day, looking for a creative outlet (and constructive feedback) by night! Depending on my mood my words tend to swing from uplifting to depress.. more..

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