Legend of the golden Aurum bird

Legend of the golden Aurum bird

A Poem by MattWheatus
"

Snappy poem about a legendary Aurum bird who sang in jewels

"

The proud Aurum bird is not one to be caught

An ave on which legends are made and battles fought

 

With a plumage of Gold, and jewelled legs to stand upon

It’s hatched from a Faberge egg, born at the glowing dawn

 

With each high joyful note, a glistening gem appears

And when tired weaves nests of silver, cries silk for tears

 

The Aurum bird, its rich song sweeter than a siren

Roams free in history, amongst men keen to find them

 

The hand of Midas, the Aurum bird did once tease

And momentarily caught by Jason with his fleece

 

It stayed the longest of time with a kind Pizarro

Following Inca fortune trails down to El Dorado

 

But history makes the Aurum bird’s loyalty loose,

To avoid becoming mankind’s next golden goose


© 2010 MattWheatus



Author's Note

MattWheatus
Aurum is the chemical name for gold (Au), and means "glowing dawn" in latin. This "legend" is made up, but I mention a few famous ones too. Partly a metaphor about art and media. Tell me what you think!

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Featured Review

Amazing imagery and detail. I could envision the bird while I was reading. I like how you incorporated little bits of history and legends as you created your own. I loved the lines:
"With a plumage of Gold, and jewelled legs to stand upon
It’s hatched from a Faberge egg, born at the glowing dawn"
Your description really brings the legend to life.


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Just excellent! Good structure and it read beautifully. The metaphor about things of pure beauty having to evade the men that wish to exploit it is masterfully woven into the lines. I found myself wanting to read again and again. Fantastic work!

Posted 7 Years Ago


I like your choices of words, very imaginative and effective. I don't know anything about the legend, but you made it interesting to read.

Posted 7 Years Ago


Once again, love the picture put into my head by the words you write. The beauty of this legendary bird, was just so well described. Great. Never disappointed with the imagery you put into every writing.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

There's so much in this poem that I don't know where to start .. maybe in the middle or thereabouts: ' The Aurum bird, it’s rich song sweeter than a siren .. Roams free in history, amongst men keen to find them ' .. that's a wonderful way of describing the Aurum bird .. but 'it's' means it is, think you mean 'its' ..

'With each high joyful note, a glistening gem appears And when tired weaves nests of silver, cries silk for tears ' - those words really paint a picture and to me are the finest words in the poem.

I wonder if maybe you've tried too hard to use meter .. this would make a wonderful mythical tale..

Thank you very much for sharing.




Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amazing imagery and detail. I could envision the bird while I was reading. I like how you incorporated little bits of history and legends as you created your own. I loved the lines:
"With a plumage of Gold, and jewelled legs to stand upon
It’s hatched from a Faberge egg, born at the glowing dawn"
Your description really brings the legend to life.


Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Loved the description, very good. Very good poet. 100/100

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is really good! You made it sound like an actual legend - colourful, rich and beautiful.

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This poem had great flow and rythm. Enjoyed it even while I'm not familiar with the legeng. Great choose of words too. Good job!

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this poem was very very good. it was like i could see the bird, and feel it. you really painted a nice picture. the only thing that i noticed is that the fourth stanza doesnt really match the other ones. but that might just be me. overall, it was really really nice :)

Posted 7 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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928 Views
16 Reviews
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Added on March 4, 2010
Last Updated on March 28, 2010
Tags: gold, fortune, legend, bird, sing, song, dawn, rich, treasure

Author

MattWheatus
MattWheatus

Guildford, Surrey, United Kingdom



About
British Boy, 28 years old. I'm on the corporate ladder by day, looking for a creative outlet (and constructive feedback) by night! Depending on my mood my words tend to swing from uplifting to depress.. more..

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