Walking (My first poem since 2001)

It might seem redundant but It was very intentional and the point. Please read it fast then slow in the middle, pick up speed right before the end. Hopefully you'll get a feel for the tempo.

One day I went walking. I went walking upon a path. Upon this path, I came upon a shimmer.  This shimmer began to grow. Not from my approach, but some unseen force, the shimmer began to grow. The shimmer began to ascend. The ascending shimmer became brighter. The shimmer ascended and leveled my eye. The ascended shimmer began to pulse. The pulsing light became brighter.  The pulsing light became difficult to look upon. My hand attempted to shield the light. The light overtook the shielding of my hand. The light, bright as the sun, was all I could see. The light was all there was to see. The light started to dim. The dimming light is all there is to see. The light dimmed completely. There was nothing to see. The nothingness was black….an empty void. The empty void could not be seen.  There was no seeing.

From nothingness there was a spark. This spark was noise. This noise was sound. This sound was speech. This speech was a word. This word repeated. This word was directed. I am a direction. The word was directed at me. The repeated word directed at me was a name. This repeated name was familiar. This familiar name was mine. My name was repeated. Someone was repeating my name.  Why is someone repeated my name? This name is mine…..

Yes. Yes I can hear you. Yes that’s my name. I am here.

Where is here. This is my here to begin. Where does my here end? Is this what I am? Am I all there is? There must be more. Why must there be more? I want more, and more here begins.

Huh. More begins because I want more? Huh. Well, let there be more.

A spark! A spark appears in the dark.  A spark appears and lessens the dark. This spark mirrors and begins to pluralize. The pluralized sparks begin and kiss. The kissing sparks, kiss and spark, and light. Lightened sparks lighten the dark and forever echo. This mishmash of light that began with a spark… This cavalcade of sound and waves, and tiny things… This entirety of all swirling and changing… This beautiful ballet of matter dancing throughout… This bewildering sight is more that I can see.  

Blue. I remember blue. There’s blue throughout. The sky. This is the sky. Of course this is the sky. I’m laying in the grass. This grass is next to a path. This is the path I walked upon. I went walking upon a path. When I was walking this path, I came upon a shimmer. The shimmer! Where is the shimmer? There is no shimmer. The shimmer must have gone, if it were here at all. 

One day I went walking. I went walking upon a path. Upon this path, I kept walking. I walked and dreamt. I dreamt of nothing of consequence.

Author's Note

I got this idea while walking and pondering about my last overdose before I quite hard drugs. I was pretty close to dead and woke up to paramedics forcing me out of one of the most peaceful moments of my life. I wish they left me alone. It was all accidental, of course, but I find it hard to cope since then. I have a greater intolerance for wasting thought on things I find unproductive. Some have commented negatively about the way I interact with people now. I ask real questions and want to have real conversations. Wanting to stay dumb and naive isn't something I respect. While studying philosophy I found that Socrates used to do the same thing. He realized that they got frustrated because they didn't actually know why they believed the things that they believed. It is very sad. I don't really care what they believe but that they know why. I can respect any opinion if it's well thought out. Unfortunately, they're usually not.