Willpower and Gunpowder

This poem roots from my dislike of quitters. If you only stick with something, you can only improve...

Fear, sweat, pain

Whispering "give up, give up"

In my overstrained brain

"Give up, give up"

It would be all the same

 

The ache and thorn

Inside me there is war

See the swords and hear the horn

"Give up, give up", it implores

"And there will no one to mourn..."

 

No, no, no

I stand, I don't stop, I fight

My wounds no one knows

Bloody and bruised is right

So, smiling I take the blows

 

I don't run

I'm not a quitter

Not till the end will I be done  

The guns and corpses will embitter

Yet as I don't run, I've already won

 

Little generals bomb my mind

Mind and Will play war games  

I'm alone, everyone else is blind

It won't be all the same

The words "give up" are undefended

  

Reviews

[Ees]

I like the concept, the inner struggle of something being sooo freaking hard and then getting to the end.

There are somethings I noticed though
like:
""And there will no one to mourn...""- there is something missing in that line. Also, why the quotes?

"No till the end will I be done "- typo I assume the first word is suppose to be "not".

cool poem, bringing the reader into the play of the mind where there is struggle.